Megan. We all need our space and ability to wind down from the stresses of being a mother, especially when dealing with a velcro baby. I hope that the day of DC works really well for you and DS and gives you the space you need, and that some decent sleep comes your way soon. Make sure that you speak to people - here on BB is great place to start! - about what's going on for you - it's important to have the right support around you when you're not feeling great when you can feel your headspace changing to one that's not great. I know it's hard to find the time in the circumstances but it's important that you're not isolated with how you are feeling and what you're dealing with as a mother. Use that day of DC to look after you too, including talking about what you're going through. Thinking of you.
Murph - I really admire all your determination and drive to get everything organised for Jasmine's implants now, and just your attitude to dealing with it overall. You're one strong mummy! I hope that everything goes smoothly with appointments and procedures leading up and that you're feeling okay as the time draws nearer.
everyone. We're back from a week "holiday" to Norway (it wasn't really a holiday IMO, but that's a whole other story) and I've got a toddler just getting over a stomach bug the day after we arrived home now straight into more awesome teething (premolars this time) so she won't eat but at least she's still BFing. I'm not in a particularly good place right now (PND flaring up) so I'm sorry for no other personals - I'm following you all and really enjoy hearing about the wonderful milestones and achievements (and GROWING!) all the littler bubs are doing.
Hi all, just taking five minutes while bubs is in sling to type.
OK DH went back to work today and I have found the only way I can do anything is to have him in the sling. I guess I have a velcro baby. Keep telling myself this will pass. Starting expressing so I can get five minutes break in evenings while DH feeds him. Will see how that goes. If bubs is not in sling he will not sleep. Only other place he sleeps is with us in bed at night and only after boob and perhaps if I pat him on my chest. Trying not to feel guilty when HV says I should be trying to get him to self settle. I had to put him in his basket today for five minutes so I could go to toilet and he screamed the whole time. he really worked himself up to a hysterical scream. I never wanted to do that to him and have no intention of doing that on purpose again. I may have to do it in desperate times again but never as 'training' He does sit a little longer in his bouncer and sometimes will contiunue a sleep in his basket if out there after dozing off but he will not self settle.
Other than that he is gaining weight well and breastfeeding is not hurting so much anymore. He still is a c**p attacher but lots of mums at my mother's group said that as long as it doesn't hurt and he is putting on weight than it can't be bad. Feeds are starting to space out a little more and miraculously this morning he was grizzling and I offered him boob and he refused it!!!! He settled when I put him on my chest and slept for ages. The first time he has ever grizzled for being tired and not for being hungry!!! Yay!!!!!
Murph - still following your story my treechange friend! Great guns with the implants...I hope they are the ticket!
Acacia - I hope you are recovering from the holiday (or not holiday!)
Kelly - Tara sounds like she is doing really well. I cannot wait for solids! Less time chained to the couch feeding I hope! And as DH is the cook in our house he can prepare the baby's food!!!
Persies are still not really possible for me sorry as I am dealing with the master of velcro! As my posts get longer and I start doing persies you will see things are getting better my end!!! LOL
poppyfairy - I just wanted to say that please *please* don't let anyone - especially your HV - let you feel guilty for the fact that your DS is not self settling and that you're not or haven't yet "trained" him to self settle.
At his age, babies (I won't say all, but the very vast majority) just want to be near mum! They are still getting used to the big wide world and want to sleep with the same kind of comfort and security and warmth and comfort and comfort and comfort (you get the picture) that they had in utero. Who can blame them!? It's perfectly natural for them to want to sleep with your smell, your warmth and your sounds (i.e. heartbeat) that they are used to. You are their world!
It's such a big, overwhelming thing to have this little person be totally dependent on you for absolutely everything and you not have a break or space, but I promise that as time goes on, it will change and your beautiful velcro bub will start to become more independent and curious about the world outside of his mummy before too long.
Keep doing what you are doing - your Mummy instinct serves you well and tells you what feels right for a reason - it is best for you and your DS in your situation. "Training" your DS to self settle if you thought it was something that you did want to do would at his age is not something that is recommended in any case - he is much to young to understand the concept of going to sleep on his own and it would feel like abandonment to him. I know I'm using strong language here, but there is research that backs this up, and I do feel strongly about it and think that you're doing a wonderful job - even though I know how full on it is to have a tiny velcro baby.
FWIW, my DD, whilst she doesn't often co-sleep any more, still has cuddles to sleep at 14 months old and I either feed her and/or cuddle her back to sleep at night when she wakes - and I wouldn't want it any other way, even though my HV seems to think she should be "old enough" to go to sleep/get back to sleep on her own. Jeez - I like cuddling to sleep, so why shouldn't my DD be allowed to do that too?! You do what feels right for you, poppy, and don't feel guilty or pressured in your parenting choices - you're doing so well
Last edited by Acacia; February 11th, 2010 at 06:02 AM.
at one month, even if you wanted to go the path of controlled crying for self settling, it's far too early - the concept doesn't come into things until about 6 months - before that they are simply too young to understand
i had a velcro bub when she was little - wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me and it drove me a little bit insane to be honest. but, at about five months, we managed to get her settling in her cot just by being with her - never let her cry, we just sat with her and let her rest off to sleep. most times now she happily goes to her cot herself but we have to be with her - even if just sitting there with my head on the cot bars with my eyes closed.
your bubba will grow and change and will be ok eventually to self settle - just go with your gut
poppy slings are great, my little one loves it too and you can do things if you have the energy.
Murph well if things go well We might have to do a coffee some time. DH is still wanting to move back there ASAP. only 2 years till DSS finishes year 12. And now I"m a mum (still funny to say) The quieter life is ok. Hope DH did flippin well
Hi to everyone else forgive the lack of post today 3 hour feed last night
ATM little man was so unsettled last night, I think due to Nurse visit, then hospital visit then xray and the heat.
He's got a heat rash and a broken collar bone! from the delivery but it's not painful and will heal completly by 3 months (big sigh of relief)
He woke up at 11am and was so clingy till 2am wanting to feed the whole time, DH woke up to me crying and took him for 20mins, gave him a belly rub which brought on a big poo, DH changed him then gave him back to me for one last feed then he crashed till 5.20! just in time to give dady a kiss before he left for work.
I decided to stay awake this feed have a shower and breakfast but I'm going to spend the rest of the day in bed. I'm so hoping he is better tonight.
Poppy and Green, hang in there, you are both doing brilliantly! It may not feel like it, but you are. You are getting to know your babies, and soon you will get to the point where you are confident that you know what to do next and you will take all advice with a grain of salt. At the moment, it is all about survival, there is NO routine and just get through the next few hours, and you will be fine.
Poppy, I don't know what an HV is but no one should be telling you you're doing the wrong thing, when clearly you are being a wonderful, responsive parent to your little bubba. At that age, a velcro baby = a normal baby. Some will be happy on their own and self settle, but most don't. In my opinion, it's not something you can teach, it's a part of their development that they do when they're ready to do it. By listening to his needs and responding to them you are building a close bond built on mutual trust and understanding. This will help him feel secure and set him on the path to independence.
Acacia - thanks for popping in with your words of wisdom. I hope your DD is feeling better soon and that you're taking care of yourself
Enjoy your day in bed Green
Last edited by onthefly; February 11th, 2010 at 09:59 AM.
Megan. We all need our space and ability to wind down from the stresses of being a mother, especially when dealing with a velcro baby. I hope that the day of DC works really well for you and DS and gives you the space you need, and that some decent sleep comes your way soon. Make sure that you speak to people - here on BB is great place to start! - about what's going on for you - it's important to have the right support around you when you're not feeling great when you can feel your headspace changing to one that's not great. I know it's hard to find the time in the circumstances but it's important that you're not isolated with how you are feeling and what you're dealing with as a mother. Use that day of DC to look after you too, including talking about what you're going through. Thinking of you.
everyone. We're back from a week "holiday" to Norway (it wasn't really a holiday IMO, but that's a whole other story) and I've got a toddler just getting over a stomach bug the day after we arrived home now straight into more awesome teething (premolars this time) so she won't eat but at least she's still BFing. I'm not in a particularly good place right now (PND flaring up) so I'm sorry for no other personals - I'm following you all and really enjoy hearing about the wonderful milestones and achievements (and GROWING!) all the littler bubs are doing.
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