Parenting after LT TTC #4

[onthefly]

On a more personal note...

BW, that's so exciting that it might happen soon Or is it a very daunting thought?

Glad to hear you've got lots of help at hand BOC. Are you careful to point mr peeper down when changing nappies? I know DS used to pee all over the shop. Awesome weight gain!

You going back to work pretty soon Green? They'll take care of him when he's grizzly - lots of cuddles for sad kids.

Hope the move's going ok Smithy? It must be extra stressful with the little one.

poppy! There's one thing you can relax about at least.

I got a baby recipe book when I was pregnant. Some of teh recipes are pretty nice! I've never really bothered cooking different meals for A though - barely motivated to cook one meal. We used rice flakes as a base for mush (it cooks up like porridge).

Ah, sorry, it's been so long since I posted in here. Missing lots of people I know - hi to you all!

A started at a new daycare today. Didn't do too badly, considering. I only had a small knot of anxiety in my tummy - last time I felt absolutely awful.

I *think* we may have turned some sort of developmental corner in regard to sleep - A is actually happy to go to bed now and doesn't fight sleep. Yes, that's right, he wants to go to sleep. Amazing. And.... sometimes he even goes to sleep on his own. So if you're busy rocking, feeding or otherwise mothering your baby to sleep, take heart - one day (hopefully not 2 years down the track, but anyway) your little one will figure it out.

Take care and sleep well(ish)

[Neptune]

Hi girls

I think Marcellus hit the nail on the head. this is a support thread for those of us who have struggled to have a baby, let's support each other and cheer each other in whatever decisions we make for our precious baby's.

Smithy - thanks for thinking of me. I'm travelling ok, still haven't finished my letter to DH but it is coming along. I have seen a few programs on hoarding, they always fill me with hope, but the he has to admit he has a problem first!

BG - We certainly value your input, please stay!

I am reading all of your posts daily, but struggling to write all the persies. I will get there after my next uni essay and letter to my DH!

Adam is a llittle cherub, a little unsettled at the moment....maybe teething?.....one day he's fussy and rubbing at his jaw, the next day he is fine. So I'm just rolling with it LOL. He has only just started to roll at 6 months, but I really think it's because he is so heavy! Started solids in earnest and he loves it. I've also got the Robyn Barker baby food book which is very straightforward. He is still vomiting all the time so now we just have technicolor everywhere! Oh the joy. He is trying very hard to crawl, and he's getting very frustrated! Almost sitting up. Love my little boy

Thanks again for your lovely supportive posts, it means a lot

[Murph01]

Hello lovelies,
I'm enjoying a lovely cuddle with jazzy so just one hand typing and not sure how long it will last.

I was a bit surprised in catching up with recent posts about the early feeding debate and I can understand what smithy is feeling. I guess i had a similar experience when I gave jazz solids before 4 months. we all take well meaning comments as a personal attack because we live with all this mother guilt no matter what we do, but when it comes from people who don't usually comment, it feels a bit harsh and confronting. My reaction to comments directed at me was to stew in private and say nothing until it all washed over, because I felt a bit defensive and a tad p'd off despite being told not to take it that way. I believe in my own common sense and the fact that no one knows my baby as well as I do and i know that's true of smithy, just as we all do the best we can. It can get a bit over the top adhering to every bit of research and some apply it to the letter of the law, while others (like me), dance around the edges, feeling it out as we go but never endangering our babies with our choices.

BG you have so much to offer all of us here and your comments are always welcome so I hope you don't feel this is no longer your home. In fact, I have come to know which comments will spark an answer from you and janie and i love it when you pop up with your advice based on "been, there, done that" and we hear what lies ahead.

I hope the bad vibes blow over quickly as this is a fantastic source of hope, fun, wisdom and love between all of us brought together on our extraordinary journey.

Neptune, so sorry to hear things are in a bad way for you. I have to admit, I think about it constantly and wonder how things are going? You are taking on so much with your study, your home problems and a new baby. Can you reorganise your psychology study (if only to make me feel less slack for not resuming mine post-baby). Seriously, I'm a big believer in the "Women can do anything" line, but just not all at once. You know that hoarding is not a rational thing and it's just the other end of the spectrum from "clean freaks".. Just that one is more acceptable because it's not as messy. You try stopping obsessive cleaners from cleaning and they will self-destruct. the same will happen with your DH if you don't have the resources in place to support the habit and replace the behaviour...well that's what I think anyway. If he won't go to a counsellor, you can try what I did with DHs post -traumatic stress and go to one on his behalf and start things moving without him being there, at least to talk to someone. Alternatively, like Grub said, maybe a mate, parent, brother or someone who is not just the "whingeing, neurotic, over-reacting wife" (his words, not mine) could have a word? It's such a big thing you are entering into with the thought of leaving him. I'm really feeling for you and wish you all the luck you need.

Oh dear, where do I start? I want to keep coming here but life is getting so totally overwhelming and all about chasing these implants for Jasmine. It's so not easy. I am in the process of lobbying to get funding if my health fund won't support the operation or pay for them. I have a fantastic new support team down here but nothing is like is was back in QLD and its all piece meal and so slow getting anything done. I've got this hospital paying for this ear and this charity paying for that ear and this theatre expense covered by this one and blah blah blah,,,I said I wouldn't whinge, but some days, I get so frustrated I want to cry. Not going to cry!! Hmm, getting dusty in here...better change subject.

Ahh, my little gem is a hefty 5.48 kilos now and 64cm. She is just outrageously cheeky now and charms the pants off everyone who meets her. Mum had a great time here and I plan to take Jazz to Melbourne as soon as I can and with the implants being done in Melb, that's even better. Err, implants...there's that word again!

Better go and do some more chasing. have a great day all and I will check in later. xox

P.S Oh Grub...I'm just not going to try anymore "mis-placed". Oh the horror, I'm clearly not myself, what was I thinking?????

[Janie71]

Hi All,

Hope you are all well. Just felt like I needed to pop in and send you all loads of love. I think Grub you covered it off really nicely as did Marcellus.

BOC - what a CUTIE Jagger is and I just love his name.

Neptune - good luck with your uni assignment - I so respect people that study as well as raise children - I don't know where you find the time! Adam sounds gorgeous - they all start moving at different stages, but they all catch up to each other eventually. Hope everything is going ok with your DH.

Marcellus - hope the new daycare continues to go well - I so know that knot in your stomach. And way to go with the sleep!

BG - I love to hear how you and E are going - I think E and Jasmine are pretty close in age so it is nice for me to have updates as to how she is going.

Smithy - I hope the move is going okay honey. I HATE moving... but once you are in your nice new place it will all be worth it. Hope Miss Charlie is well.

Grub - thanks for the advice re the cook books.

BW - Oh how EXCITING! I'm jealous - I would love to start again soon too, but it will depend on a few different factors as to exactly when we can start.

Green - Jasmine's daycare are always great with comforting upset babies. As soon as one starts getting grizzly they are there giving them a cuddle.

Hi to everyone else - hope you are all well.

AFU - well we are home again - SICK! Just when Jasmine has started back at daycare this week. She went in Wed and Thurs, then late last night started vomitting and vomitted all through the night poor love. She seems much better now and is keeping breast milk down and is certainly asking for lots. Took her to doc and he says that she is well hydrated and it looks like yet another virus. Those of you that are going to use daycare the one thing I would say is in those early days be prepared for the virus'. I don't think I was fully prepared for how often she was going to get sick. Hopefully for any of the rest of you, it won't be as constant as what it has been for us. I just can't wait for Jazzy's immunity to get fully built up so that she isn't catching everything going around.

Loads of love and Cyber hugs to you all,

Janie and Jasmine xxx

[Janie71]

Murph we must have posted at the same time. Sorry to see that you are still struggling with the beauracrats (sp?). I will be sending you loads of positive vibes to try and help get things moving. Jazzy sounds just devine and getting so big!

Janie and Jasmine xxx

[TaRhLi.]

Just wanting to jump in to say I agree with the girls, lets support each other in the decisions we make. We are all playing this mummy game by ear and there is just too much negativity out there already about what we "shouldn't do".

As for the baby recipe books, I was given a book before Tara was born. It call the Complete Baby & Toddler Meal Planner by Annabel Karmel. It has some fantastic recipes up to the toddler years which will probably become part of our family meal planner when Tara is a little bigger.

Well we have been a little sick here as well, just a cold I think for all of us so making sure Tara stays warm and well hydrated and getting lots of rest. Luckily for me Tara is happy to take water from a sippy cup, just 10ml-20ml's but still enough to keep up her fluids. Still getting lots of wet & dirty nappies so hopefully soemthing that will pass pretty quickly as next week all things begin.

It is hard to come to terms with the fact that Tara will be 6 months old on Monday and starts swimming lessons (that's if her cold is gone away) and then immunisations on Wednesday and her MCHN visit on Thursday for weigh in. I'm guessing she now weighs between 7.5kg-8kg's . We are also doing the car seat change this weekend as well to forward facing and I've even just bought another cheaper car seat for our little car and also a stroller so I don't have to take the big car out all the time.

Anyway, better get little miss into bed for another nap and then lunch. Oh, also daylight savings worked out well for us... bed by 6.30pm and awake 8.30am... I am so lucky to have a baby that loves her sleep.

[Lenny]

Hi all,
I've been MIA for a long time, and I know I'll never catch up on news - but I'll try.

Murph - your darling girl is lucky to have such a strong and loving mum. Keep up the fight - I hope everyone sees sense soon.

BW - eeek, exciting!

I love all the recipes in those baby books, but to be honest I usually end up making everything up myself. I did use them to make lots of different fruit/vegetable mini muffins. DS1 still loves anything that comes in the shape of a mini muffin. And vegetable fritters/pikelets too. Picky eaters are a bit frustrating, but they force you to get creative!

DS2 is 3 months old now - wow, time flies. I can't believe he will be my last baby. Maybe just one more?!

Hugs to all,
Jo

[grub17]

oh my lenny i was just looking at everyone's signature and it's true! time is going too quick! 4 motnhs, 5mnths, 6mths!!! these babies aren't waiting for us are they! lol.

murph to your one handed post! i can't even play facebook scrabble with ash asleep on me! lol. i'm sad you are having such a battle. don't these people know you and jazzy have enough challenges ahead without them adding to your stress levels? and no don't cry -focus that frustration into determination. I agree.. women can do anything and i also agree they need to take one or two battles/challenges at a time! do you like KI?

kelly - i was just thinking about you and tara. Did her modelling shots come out good? any work ?? oh i can''t wait for the seat change. I find it so hard to get the little man out of his... he's sooo long and grabs onto the straps then mummy dongs his head on the seats or ceiling because she was negotiating legs and hands and forgot about the head. then she dongs hers.. and now the car roof material is falling down. DOH!

janie -that sucks about getting sick so much. poor little bubba! especially being BFed, i thought that was supposed to really help a lot but i suppose nothing is 100% against viruses. big hugs to you both!

oh neptune - i'm dreading solids! ash is a vomiter too.. technicolour vomit sounds just precious!

What do you girls with bubs on solids use to keep the mess contained? do you find one of those 'drop cloths/plastic sheets' helpful?

oh marcellus -that talk of sleep is like porn for a mother lol. congrats tho, do you find you are still waking up for him even if he's not? so cute putting himself to bed!

I agree with murph about the huge individual differnces. just got back from an ABA meet up. one of the mum's first child was a piggy on solids at 5mths and standing and climbing at 7months... her 2nd bub is nearly 8 mths and not interested in solids and only just starting to crawl! Horses for courses.

am sersiously considering talking dh into a camp trip this weekend... hmm.

smithy and bw - please post again soon on how you are doing with your bubs... and life in general.
oxox

[TaRhLi.]

Hey Grub

Still waiting to get Tara's shots back and for her to all be set up to do some work, they reckon it takes 4-6 weeks to get organised and it has just hit 4 weeks now.

As for the solids mess, I find that the following are essential for us:

1. Highchair
2. Normal Bib
3. Plastic Backed Bib
4. Spew Rag (or cloth nappy if you prefer... that's what I use)
5. Fast Reflexes...haha

I basically layer Tara up, normal bib then a plastic backed bib on top and then the spew rag draped over her. I have found the plastic backed bibs a godsend for solids (got mine from Big W pack of 10) as it collect all the spills, they do stain with most foods but I would rather have them stained than her clothes. The normal bib underneath is to catch all the saliva and dribble bits from her chin and the spew rag to clean up the mess around her face, hair, ears and wherever else food ends up... especially up the nose.

And trust me they are fast moving little creatures and if you are not fast enough to get that loaded spoon out of the way a little hand can swipe it before you know it and food is everywhere. Anyway that's what I do...

[briggsy's girl]

Grub - i had a very chucky baby - we didn't start solids til later (6 months) and started with normal food rather than purees. i found she rarely bought anything up at all after we started solids. i honestly can't remember her bringing up much in the way of her solids at all. she's been a bit sickly the last week or so, but is teething, and that seems to make it a bit worse - but with her normal everyday chucky habits, it's pretty much stopped altogether since we started on the solids. before solids, she would brining up milk every feed, up to 8 or 10 times. it was so frustrating! i now only have one puke rag in the nappy bag "just in case" as opposed to having to carry 4 if we went out anywhere!

kinda feel a little sorry for you guys starting solids in the coming months. i guess we got the messiest phase out of the way in the middle of summer - we'd strip E to her nappy and feed her like that!

[butterfly_warrior]

Well... I've gone from being really excited about going again to absolutely crapping myself with breath-snatching fear. Yep, it's another opportunity to add to our family - but it's also another opportunity for my body to let me down again. I guess I've got a lot of things to work through in the next few months - I thought I was feeling ok with the chance of having another premmie bub, I think I'm ok with possibly not being able to breastfeed again... I'm definitely NOT ok with the chance of having another miscarriage.

When it came to starting solids - we didn't have that much in the way of mess issues, unless Sam was feeding himself. We do know, as he thinks it is fun to try to snatch the spoon off us but still isn't coordinated enough to cope with a spoon solo... We used a lot of bibs when he was younger, but rarely put one on him now. We do have a plastic mat on the floor under the high chair - but he can throw further than it reaches now! We also found that starting solids didn't really help with reducing Sam's chucking at all, but I do know that it has helped some. We just got apple-scented puke instead! The chucking didn't really stop until he had enough control to sit completely unsupported.

On another note - it appears that I can no longer deny the fact that Sam is well and truly due for his first hair cut. He's looking far too girly again!

Janie - really sorry to hear that Jasmine is sick again. I feel like we've been unbelievably luck with Sam's start to daycare. He's been sick once - and that turned out to be teething not a bug. He hasn't brought home any colds, viruses or anything else exciting to make life harder for his immune-suppressed mother. Counting my blessings every day there.

Marcellus - I hope A's start to daycare is better than his last. I know that one was tough on both of you.

I guess the whole daycare thing contributes to me feeling ok about Sam not being breastfed. His immunity is clearly not lacking in any way at this point in time. One thing that our paed suggested to help reduce daycare bugs - bath as soon as they get home after daycare. We don't always do it, but do make sure his face and hands are washed at least. The paed also suggested pentavite - but that's the one medicine that Sam doesn't open his mouth and beg for so we ditched it.

BW

[onthefly]

Here's my contribution to feeding mess - get naked (baby, not you, or you could I spose) and put down a plastic sheet (though that's less helpful if they aim their throws further away).

That is lucky BW. A must have gotten 2 flus, a vomiting virus, and a couple of viral/rash type things in the 12 weeks he was there last time. Washing up is good advice! I must remember to do that.
Hopefully you've gotten the 'mix' right with your last cycle, so it'll be smoother sailing next time round

Hope you're enjoying the porn Grub

It's so hard, isn't it Janie? Hope she's better soon. I think sometimes they get sick and never quite get the chance to recover properly with daycare so they just get sick again and again.

Wow Murph, you must be a super mum staying on top of all that!

Time to go pick up the little man....hope he's had a better day today.

[briggsy's girl]

J
It is hard to come to terms with the fact that Tara will be 6 months old on Monday and starts swimming lessons (that's if her cold is gone away) and then immunisations on Wednesday and her MCHN visit on Thursday for weigh in. I'm guessing she now weighs between 7.5kg-8kg's . We are also doing the car seat change this weekend as well to forward facing and I've even just bought another cheaper car seat for our little car and also a stroller so I don't have to take the big car out all the time.

Kelly, i know a lot of mum's turn their bubs at six months - just check with your car seat to make sure it's ok to turn your baby weight wise as well as age wise - i know ours says at least 8kg. not sure if you're getting Tara weighed for her six month check, but it's something to keep in mind. i have been reading the details for our car seat today trying to work out how much longer i can keep DD rearward, and it says she should be at least 8kg - and can be rearward as late as 12kg. your MCHN should be able to give you some more info about whether it's safe for your DD if her weight is on the cusp

[TaRhLi.]

Thanks BG, I've checked that our car seat is from 8kg's onward and a couple of weeks ago we weighed Tara at home (although not as acurate as the MCHN scales) and we estimated she was about 7.5kg's then. It is just getting so darned hard to get her in and out of the seat now and she persists in lifting her head all the time.

How do you manage to get E in and out of her seat seeing she weighs more than Tara? I find it really hard to get my hands under Tara's bum and head to lift her out and poor child if I try under the armpits, like grub I end up clonking her head on either the roof or door jam of the car. I'm hoping that once she is forward facing it will be easier to get her in and out.

I'm so looking forward to getting the extra Car Seat and Stroller I ordered today, this means that I can use our little car (2 door Getz) for the quick trips to the shops instead of having to manage with the station wagon. Car parks are just not made for big cars or 4WD's anymore and then the station wagon will be for long trips to Melbourne or family trips on the weekend.

Anyway better be off, child in bed asleep which means mummy now has washing and bottle steriling to undertake...

[onthefly]

It is really awkward getting them in and out, isn't it? It was a relief when we switched A around at about 10 months (but he's a lightweight compared to your little girl) - and yeah he got clonked a fair bit too. But when I heard some safety statistics later on I kinda regretted it. Well, we didn't have a crash (thankfully) but it still worries me a bit. In Europe and elsewhere they have rear-facing seats for older toddlers (even up to 4 years old!), but not allowed here, which is a shame.

We have a sedan and that's bad enough! How do you park and still get out of the car?

A had a better day today. Fingers crossed that next week he'll actually eat his lunch. Then maybe one day he won't cry at drop off...

[briggsy's girl]

Kelly - we have a 4wd so have not yet bonked E on the head getting her in and out of the car! though i ahven't had a drama in mum's either - and it's just a commodore... we put her in basically sitting upright and alow her to sit herself down (we have her in the middle seat and i sit beside her rather than trying to lean in and out). like Marcellus, i have read a bit on the safety stats and decided we would put miss E facing rearward as long as possible. she hasn't really fought it at all which surprised me as i know a lot of kids that have. if i could keep her backwards longer i would, but she is a little porker - so unless she starts properly walking soon and her weight gain slows, we'll have her frontward by her birthday.

tired mummy day today - think the notion of returning to work is getting to me more than i wanted to admit. ah well, it has to be done!

[butterfly_warrior]

You know, I've always wondered why people talk about having trouble lifting the baby over the car seat straps when they are rearward facing... and it finally occurred to me! We have a subaru forester - so highish roof, and the anchor point is in the roof - so we could just lift Sam out between the car seat and the straps. We also did the centre seat thing which made it easier for us, too. I can understand why some people have trouble now - I could never get my head around it before. But... when you've seen the videos and stuff, every time we have a near miss while driving my heart ends up in my throat thinking about what could happen to Sam. I would much rather we were able to use the extended rear-facing seats here like they have in Europe - much safer.

Teething munchkin here - he appears to be working on all four molars at once - mushy spots on his bottom gums and hard lumps on the top (but they have retreated from where they were the other day). He also looks really puffy and swollen along his jaw line. Poor kid... he's still mostly eating, which is one less stress. He all but stops eating completely when he's teething. And mummy forgot to buy icy poles for him today.

[Greenslw]

Smithy I've been thinking of starting solids with my little man soonish too I started at 6 weeks my Partner at 4 and we're both fine. Hope all's well with the move

Marcellus for happy sleeper is that a new new thing or did DS start hating sleep when he got older?

Mr peeper is a learning curve for me too got me three days in a row at bath time.

Neptune after a chucky day myself your description made me

Janie thanks for the insight and I"m sorry your Jasmine is sick again. I must admit I'll be happier when Linc has all his shots on bord too.

Kelly wow swimming lessons how much fun is that. BUCKET BIB! they actually work, I got one for a baby shower gift and thought "oh that's nice" and shoved it in the bottom draw.

Grub I love the idea of camp trip were you off to?

BW first hair cut how cute, you going to do it or someone else? Love the bath idea too 4.30-5 is bath time in our house so that works well.

Today I'm having my own little panic attack re organisation, I got half way to mums and needed to come home for my purse how am I going to manage this with work? I'm going to do a few dry runs leading up then a month before every Tues and Friday get up and go to mums as will happen when I start work (childcare Tues) but the practice will be good for both of us I think.

Had a lovely day with my Grandma's best friend (Grandma dies 13 years ago) I just felt like I needed to see her she's known me from birth and by chance I ran into her daughter at a work doo and I though "yep this is a sign" she was wonderful Italian Nona and still so active for 75 It was so nice to have a big cuddle and good coffee I feel like my Oma is smiling from above today. Real proud moment showing off Lincoln who was cute and adorable as well (good timing little one).

DH is on KI tonight and I'm Linc continues the run of good sleeps.