Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[mako]

Wow you have all been very busy chatting away in here. I won't attempt to catch up with all of you but I will say that yes this parenting business seems to get a little easier but then something will always pop up and throw a spanner in the works.
Sage has been pretty settled lately and then he has begun teething and then we had his needles yesterday and now everything is all over the place. He was very unsettled yesterday and lastnight. Today he has a temperature and hasn't been feeding as much as he normally does.He has only just gone down for a nap. He usually has had atleast 1 before now but not today. He screams whenever I go to put him down

Sazz I hope you can get the mastitis sorted out before it gets too bad hun. I have had it 3 times since having Sage. It is really painful hey?? Just know that I'm here if you need anything. I found I needed to express alot while I had it and also hot showers worked a treat. Look after yourself hun.

Jason You sound like you are a wonderful husband. Good on you for helping your dw. It is a tough job for you guys too. I know that my dh struggles sometimes too. He does do his best but it is hard as he has to work long hours too. I don't know about you but my dh didn't have any time off when I had Sage. He only had the day off when he was born and he was back at work the very next day. It was very tough for him and the worst part about it, he works for his father.

I can't understand some of the questions we are asked constantly like is he/she a good baby? Are you bfeeding??? What is it when strangers ask you that?? Why do they think its thier business?? I can't understand that.

Hi to you all

[DJTTC]

Jason - you sound like a wonderful husband & father, good on you. I can only imagine how hard it is having sleepless nights & then having to go to work, but try to hang in there it does get better.

Willow - I can't believe that someone would be so insensitive to say you sound unfullfilled, some pp just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!

Rachel - I am happy for you that you have been lucky with your baby but I really do think you are one of very few who have an easy time (I obviously do know that their are some easy bubs & I hope you don't feel I was being horrible).

For me having a difficult pg & long painful labour was hard.
Breastfeeding was hard.
Having bub scream from 5 - 9pm every night suffering with colic was hard.
Having bub want a feed every 2 hours at night & then myself not being able to sleep during the day was exremely hard.
Not having time alone with Dh has been hard.

But in spite of all this it is worth it because:

Loving your baby is EASY.
Wanting the best for bub is easy.
Seeing bub smiling & giggling is soooooooooo easy.
Watching them grow & learn new things is easy.
I could think of a lot more things but ykwim.

I must admit as bub is getting older things are becoming much easier & I find my princess an absolute joy (doesn't mean I want to go through it again any time soon, lol).

Mako - hope Sage feels better soon.

Sazz - you might need to get onto the boob thing before it gets really bad, hopefully its not mastitis.

I totally agree with you all there is no such thing as a bad baby, the poor buggers I'm sure labour is not a nice time for them either & then their tummies adjusting to milk,etc.
I'm sure it's a much nicer place in the womb.

Jo - 28
Dh - 34

[sazzafrazz]

Hey there!
I made a huuuuge post yesterday and had to attend to Celeste before submitting it. DH came home and immediately closed this up so it was lost! Bit annoyed about that but I will add it to the list of annoying things other halves do sometimes. hehe.

I have adjusted to having a new baby really well I think. I also think DH hasnt really made a lot of changes to his life at all!!! He started off so supportive and helpful but the last couple of weeks he has slipped back into all his old routines. Last friday night I cracked a small narna at him because he had gone out and played squash every night except for tuesday night, which he worked so couldnt. By 7pm friday when he had been gone for 2hours I phoned him on his mobile, with a screaming baby in my arms, asking him to come home as I couldnt cook tea or go to the toilet or anything and I hadnt seen him all week. He came home quite sheepishly and said he had lost track of time. Oh, yeah, and what day it was as well????? I think he realised he needs to give me a bit more of a break cause he turned down the opportunity to play again on Monday night Celeste is a bit colicky in the evenings and it can be very draining having her scream for 4hours every night. I just need a break sometimes!!! Anyhow, he has since been settling her in the evenings a lot more. I will go to bed after feeding her and he will get her down. Thank goodness! I need to make my needs heard I think. I guess I am doing the "perfect mother" thing you have been talking about, thinking I should be able to cope with everything easily and without complaint as I have wanted this baby for so long and so much. But in reality it is difficult sometimes having a newborn. I can say I am having a hard time or that I need help. ... ok, need to get that into my head: ok to ask for help.

Saw my old boss today and had a brief chat. She asked how Celeste was doing with her sleeping and feeding etc. Then she asked "so, what else have you been doing with yourself?" as though I have hours and hours of free time up my sleeve and am just watching telly all day. I was ammused! It takes me till lunch time some days to get showered and dressed. It can take 4 trips out to the line to get one load of washing hung out, 20mins or more to unpack the dishwasher etc. Everything just takes sooo much longer to do. I am sure this will improve but then she will start being on the move crawling and walking and it will all take so long again hehehe. No wonder being a stay at home parent is full time work.

Jason, I hope you are getting all the wonderful changes that week 6 brings... Celsete had a great time this morning on her lambskin with her nappy off. She has wrist and ankle toys and was having a great time. I went to make the bed and could hear her giggling in the other room. Too cute. I am also getting cute smiles when she is playing around at the end of a feed or if I take off her wet nappy she gives me a nice thank you smile. It is wonderful ! I really think you should come into the baby buddies group. It is for parents of babies born then, not for mothers of babies born then. I went to find out what the controversy was you were talking about and I think you put it very well and I agree. It is a pitty some people take things the wrong way on here sometimes but I guess it is hard to hear the feeling when things are typed rather than spoken. Give it some thought anyhow.

As for the mastitis, false alarm. It must have been just a fluey bug cause mostly it has passed. fingers crossed.

Hmm, was heaps of stuff I thought of yesterday but it has all gone out of my mind now. Oh well.

[DJTTC]

Sazz - you poor thing, I would have went off at dh way sooner than you did.
I think sometimes that just don't get how time consuming looking after a baby is & they do need reminding.

I can't imagine what it would be like being a single parent, I think I would go crazy.

Hopefully the colic will settle down soon, we used to have Jenna screaming from 5 - 9pm every night & it was very upsetting for all of us.

I can totally relate to not having a shower before lunchtime & this morning it took me two hours to vaccum downstairs because bubby was unsettled (teething).

Jo - 28
Dh - 34

[Rach75]

[Rachel - I am happy for you that you have been lucky with your baby but I really do think you are one of very few who have an easy time (I obviously do know that their are some easy bubs & I hope you don't feel I was being horrible).

I was worried you would think I was horrible for my reply no definatly nothing against you I was just a bit taken back by the

I am so sick of hearing new mums say how everything is perfect, we all know they are lying because ALL babies wake up during the night & ALL babies cry.

I think it's about time mums got real & told the truth so we can all be there for each other instead of us feeling as though we aren't as perfect as them.

anyway all good

[monnie]

Hey guys

How's everyone doing?

Mako...how's Sage going? Poor little fellow...teething and needles...same thing happened to Felix! I hope Sage feels like his normal little self soon!

Sazz...I know what you mean about everything taking SO much longer! I still struggle to get out of my pj's before lunch time! I hope the 4 hours crying stops soon. I remember something similar with Felix...5pm-9pm was hard work! But it definitely got better...and now we don't have anything like that!

DJTTC...love what you wrote about baby being easy! Babies are such hard work...but so easy to absolutely love, hey? I still look at Felix and can't quite believe that he exists...

Rach75...that's so great that Jack is doing so well! What a wonderful start! And to cope with the teething so well, that's fantastic!

Willow...so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that comment. I think it's so important to be real...and say how it REALLY is! It's not negativity, it's realism!

Jason...you sound like a great DH! I agree, the first 6 weeks are the toughest! Definitely! There are little challenges that continue to pop up as bubs grows, but you feel so much more able to cope with it. Hang in there!

Kimnastics...hope all is going well!

Sushee...how you doing chickie? Is Charlie doing any better with his appetite? I'm sure it will sort itself out...

Hope I haven't missed anyone...sorry if I have...

As for us, we're doing well. Starting to feel like we've got more of a grip on things now. In the last 6 months, had a much wanted baby, we've lived with my parents for 4 (had house renovations...moved in with my parents when Felix was 1 week old!), my DH finished his PhD, we moved back home again, my DH got a new job and I went back to work (part-time!)...so are just now feeling like we sort of feel like what's going on! Phew!

[mako]

Hi

I hope you are all having a good weekend.

Sage is still having trouble with his teeth.I just wish it would pop through and we can get our happy little boy back.Its so cruel when he is sleeping soundly and all of a sudden he will let out an almighty scream in pain.To make matters worse I have mastitis again.I just hope it gets better soon.

Monnie You sure have had a very busy 6 months hey.Such exciting times too.I'm pleased that Felix is settling down now too.

Jo I also love what you wrote about babies being easy.
How is Jenna doing? I hope the teething isn't too bad for any of you.

I'd better go as dinner is almost done. mmm. baked dinner.. YUM!!!!