I moved form Melbourne to Sydney when I got married, and it took a while to get the job i wanted, and I actuallyl developed an anxiety disorder as a result of that experience! I understand...there is just no-one who knows you, it is very hard and very isolating. You will get there though, it just takes time to settle and adjust.
i'll third what kaydee and neptune are saying Murph. - rants allowed
beeing a defence partner I completely relate to what you are saying Murph.
Some things i find helpful, which you might be able to use when feeling a bit blue about your isoaltion:
* trying to see the positives - such as seeing a different part of Aus, expanding your horizons etc
* I also found it helpful to point out to myself that not much changes when i go home... lots of things change in my life but home is always the same. Friends do the same things, see the same people, go to the same pub on friday night like we all did when we were 18 etc. I have grown to realise that i could not live like that anymore and while i love visiting, i love coming back to my new home... well it's my new home til dec 2010 when we'll move half a continent and start over, again.
*Another positive i found out of being so isocially solated, was the amazing closeness DH and I know have. we were always a close couple and such, but now we rely on each other so much and are truly best friends, playmates, fishing/camping buddies, lovers and soon to be mumma and pappa! lol
* I also work overtime to ensure i keep connected with friends and family. Email, facebook, sms, postcards/little gits and telephone calls are regularly put into all my friends/family. We are all still really close, we know what's happening in each other's lives just they way we interact has changed.
These are strategies i use when i'm feeling down (hope they don't come across as a lecture or anything) ... We have tried to make friends ad we do have a few... but i think it gets harder as you get older.
Oh, one other thing i'm trying to do is organise visits after bubs arrived. One of my GFs who didn't have any visitors to the hospy cos no one wanted to annoy her said all you want to do is show off your bub!
so we've arranged for granparents here at chrissy, then siblings, then friends and then we'll do trip to both hometowns for further showing off. this keeps me looking ahead.
i hope you might be able to take away something from all that... take care of you and make DH give you a cuddle on my behalf
Hi everyone, just stopping by to wish you all the very best, great to see things moving forward and some of you so close now!
good to those with scans coming up
ive got 5 and a half weeks to go YAY!!! he hasnt dropped yet but i wish he would! has anyone here NEVER had a braxton hicks? i havent had any contraction pains at all so im hoping he wont be late coz im so anxious for him to be out and safe in my arms.
oh and KAYDEE good luck for a smooth labour on friday, I will be thinking of you!
BabyDreamtime, don't get me wrong I still love carbs but no meat. What ever makes you happy I think ATM.
Kaydee can't wait.
MissMagpie, driving is out of the question for you? I can't think of anything worse than the train even now.
Mahli so exciting to feel baby can't wait.
Mels I was wondering when you pack your bag. 36 weeks sounds like a good time. What did you pack?
Oh Murph I hope you can remember why you made the tree change and just think of how wonderful it will be for little one when she's groving up. I think you are so brave I did 2 years in the countrey for DP and don't know if I can do it again. Although if it was warmer I'd be happier.
Grub I second the visitor idea, my GF is from Melb orig and she had arranged for lots of family right after bubs was born, really helped her settle in and do some housework for her too which was a monus.
MHB wow 5 weeks so many ladies so close how exciting
ATM just burnt my hand on the oven again, I seam to do that with frequency, I must be vague. Dam oven. Should have a cooling device! Still crusing well, Very excited for dinner Saturday night, organic pizza place in the hills very yummy
Just a very quick one from me. I've found myself in hospital!! I wasn't feeling well yesteday - really swollen, headache, thirsty, etc, so phoned ob clinic because I always read that you should report those symptoms as it may be a sign of hypertension or pre-eclampsia.
So I was told to come to the preg assessment unit at the hosp, which I did, and while they had the monitors on me, they realised I was actually having contractions every 10 mins or so!! So with a risk of pre-term labor, I've been admitted and am being monitored for the next few days.
I expect to be sent home on Friday or over the weekend, but will be on strict bedrest after that as my cervix length at this stage is apparently consistent with pre-term labour equiv to about 33-34 weeks. So, fingers crossed the bedrest will keep the little ones baking for a while yet.
Lots of thoughts to you all - and how lovely to see some friends who've been absent for a while in here again
Hello again, Jenc - take care of yourself and rest up. I hope you are able to bake for as long as you need, although it must make it easier to know that even at this stage your little ones would have a very good fighting chance. Wow, what an experience for you. I hope it wasn't too scary and you are home again on Friday
Kaydee, Grub, Neptune and Greenslw, thank you so much for all your advice. I read with a lump in my throat so just skimmed it over enough to know that you were saying the things I needed to hear. All of your experiences and your little tips were spot on. I don't have very major needs for a social network like alot of people but I do suffer without the right balance and I guess my balance is feeling a bit off. Neptune, I know what you mean about the anxiety condition. Mine (which is always just part of me) came back when we were moving to the Daintree. I remember having the most stressful time in the removal truck on the drive up and I had to just close my eyes and meditate the whole time DH was driving. It was just a temporary out of control feeling I suppose.
I know what you mean Grub about being your best mate with your DH. Luckily that's how it's always been for us but he can never fill the void of not having family. Before this move, in my whole life I've never lived in a different town from my sister and my Mum. Even when DH and I first started living together, I didnt move out, he moved in with Mum and I! They get on great. I can go a long time without friends around but it seems hardest to be without family. It doesn't help that my Mum lost her partner and I am sooo far away this year while she is in Melbourne.
After fessing up to DH today and him getting a bit concerned that it might be time to leave the tree change and head back to townsville, I assured him that's not what I want. It's not. You're right Greenslw and I totally love it here. I just have to do a few more things to beat the feeling of being so removed from family. It's been over two years now and I really don't want to go back. They all miss me too but have so many other distractions in their lives where I've maybe slowed down the pace a bit too much. I've decided to get a t.v for a few laughs and a bit of company (so I can give poor old Belly Belly a break and tune in to a bit of Adam Hills. ahhh, I just have to make sure I don't become a Dr Phil junkie again
Well thanks again for the big pep talk, it's good to have little blow outs to remind you to take notice of your feelings and not let them get out of hand.
Murph, did I just read right... you don't have a tv??? Wow. You are missing so many trashy shows! GL TV shopping
Jen, so hope your little boys stay put for a while longer. I bet you're glad you went to get checked out. At least you are in good hands. Take care and rest up.
Greenslw, Yummmm.... pizza.....
Mahli, great to see you back in here again.
Thanks for the well wishes girls. Still have gooby stuff coming away but no contractions or any other signs yet. Have just re-packed my bags. Thought it was close enough now to add some clothes and underwear - you know, just the essentials!! I haven't been able to pack clothes yet because I have been wearing the same stuff over and over and over. One more day of waiting...
Murph I must admit I have cried and giggled through your last two posts. I didn't have a TV to two years either and really od on it when I got back to the real world now i"m back to either or. And the involuntary noises :rof: Maybe there are some things I can wait for. Glad you're mum is coming to stay I'm sure that will be really good for you and DH.
Kaydee goodluck goodluck goodluck I'm sending you so many happy positive vibes.
Grub your stories about the Banana made me laugh out loud. I spoke to my friend who's just had a baby and she said it gets worse. Oh no maybe I should give in my licence now! I am deffinatly a worrier Grub, but I haven't seemed to increase beyond my normal panic as yet.
Hope all is going ok Jenc
ATM: I've got something again! DSS is hope sick and I feel like death. Dam having to work. I can't go home until at least 2 another 3 hours. Phoned DP to say DSS was home and I felt like going to bed to which her replied "well I guess I wont see you tonight then" I yelled a little and said thanks for the suport! he backed down but grr men!
Feeling a little overwelmed by all the staff issues atm, lots of cat fights and ego stuff, I have no time for this JUST DO YOUR JOB already! Only 3 hours to go at least.
JenC - I somehow managed to miss your last post, which must have seemed rude (maybe posted at the same time). I felt bad enough that I didn't tell you I was thinking of you and read your twinnies thread last night and then you go and say a lovely thing like that. I have to admit that's not how I feel. I actually feel like I am more likely to give people the Jimmy Grits (sh#ts) with my wordy posts but you know that's just how I have always been so I take the chance that others might like it. It's funny, I've finally gone from a 15 year career in environmental management to starting down the road to psychology and counselling as I think that's where my natural interests have always been. I finally realised I could make a career out of being a fairy god mother
As for me being sad..nah not really. It's not so bad, just a momentary loss of perspective, I'm not sad overall, just need some fine tuning. I got out into the sun today and exposed Jazzy to some lovely rays through my belly and I'm feeling much better for it.
Oh Grub, I meant to say I have been wondering the whole ins and outs of what you wear and the real nitty gritty of birth if you are standing or whatever are you starkers or do you wear a nightie or something. Thanks fo the tip on losing the pants department Jen, very cute Bed rest becomes you! I finally have a date to start antenatal classes next Tuesday so maybe I'll find out more there. Some of the pictures in the books are a bit full on, and I'd kinda like to think there was some modicum of modesty...haha
Greenslw, hope you are feeling better and that DP realises he's been a bit of goose. Rest up and take care. You too Grub, Jen and Kaydee. can't wait for the big day kaydee. Sleep well.xoxo
Miss Magpie, I like the idea of stickers anyway. I own my house but every time I think of paint or freazes I can't decide, stickers I could change THANK YOU
Yay neptune congratulations on a big milestone.
Frosty's mum glad all went well with the scan.
Thanks Murph glad you're feeling brighter too. DP always realises he's a goose just wish he'd do it prior to opening his yap! but maybe that's expecting way too much.
Had to lie on my side for the first time at the massage theripists. Was not too bad, smiled through it even though I was "extremly tight" My body is really changing. She referred me to yoga too, which is on Thursday Mornings 9.30 me thinks being the boss I can start late thursdays from now on The class is with pg women and mums and babies so it should be a nice way to keep moving post baby It's 50$ for 5 sessions which is ok, that's a cuppa and cake really and I shouldn't be eating that anyways.
Booked my weekend off can't wait to go bush and relax, have a fire and catch up with some mates I haven't seen in months, oh and let them know I'm up the duff. They will spin out as DP had a vasectomy and proudly stated not so long ago "never" to a few of our friends, (glad I knew different or there may have been violence) but it all worked out and the shock will be so funny.
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Kaydee can't wait.
so exciting to feel baby can't wait.
I hope you can remember why you made the tree change and just think of how wonderful it will be for little one when she's groving up. I think you are so brave I did 2 years in the countrey for DP and don't know if I can do it again. Although if it was warmer I'd be happier.
. ahhh, I just have to make sure I don't become a Dr Phil junkie again
Wow. You are missing so many trashy shows! GL TV shopping
Bed rest becomes you!
can't wait to go bush and relax, have a fire and catch up with some mates I haven't seen in months, oh and let them know I'm up the duff. They will spin out as DP had a vasectomy and proudly stated not so long ago "never" to a few of our friends, (glad I knew different or there may have been violence) but it all worked out and the shock will be so funny.
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