Pregnancy after LT TTC #17

[Possums]

kelly- what a relief, so great you have made it this far, been thinking of you. You must be very uncomfortable now

aimee- great news on your scan and congrats

lori and aimee- just a word from me on the gender topic. i can relate to much of what you both say. Basically I know people in my family were waiting for a baby girl...and I personally have no experirence with boys, and being an only child and very close to mum, think I had subconconsciously always imagined myself with, and dearly wanted, a girl of my own.
That's why i wanted to make sure I knew the gender, so that I would have time to be mentally prepared and to bond more with our little one, whether they be a boy or girl! As it is a boy, I am very glad we did find out and already he feels more real to me now and DH and I think we have found a name we both like. It's also given me a chance to accept that fact that this baby is not a girl and that I might never have a girl. There is a sadness for me in that fact, which is entirely separate to the excitement and happiness I feel about being pregnant and having a healthy baby, boy or girl, if that makes sense. I think it's a hard subject to talk about though, because a lot of people will judge, without understanding.

oneday- good luck with your scan!

kaybee- hi...on the public v private thing, i would go private in a flash if i could. It's not offered in port mac, with the way our healthsystem is set up. the private obs can only see us until 12 weeks, then they rotate at the public clinic. I am not happy with the public clinic so far for a few reasons. There is also no consistency and I have a high risk pregnancy and would MUCH rather be seeing my own Ob each time.

grub- great about the GD test! and your smart shopping...now go enjoy some choc!

afm- all going well. As i mentioned above to lori and aimee, things are more real now we know it's a boy and I am so glad we found out and I have time to adjust etc (that it isn't the girl I have so long imagined I would have). We've even found a name we both like (amazing!lol)...and bought a few little outfits, so much fun. And now I can chat to him more and embrace him in my heart ...we've even hung one of the cutest outfits on the nursery door, so it feels real and we think of him already whenever we walk in there.

I haven't been feeling too well lately. I seem to have developed an ULTRA sensitive digestive system. If I eat anything even remotely spicey...or anything beyond totally plain basically, I feel very sick, get cold shivers, bad stomach pains. And that can last for three days (during which time i have to eat plain rice etc) until it settles again.

I also still can hear my heart pounding through my ears/in my head. It can be pretty tough to sleep at night because of that. It's also made some of my exercise a bit more challenging.
I very much wish I had the option of private care here and am not really satisfied with the public clinic. Am also tempted to drive an hour away so I can see a private Ob. But like you kaybee, I wonder if it's just too late now?

But, despite that, I am still very very happy to be pregnant and on the way to holding our much longed for baby.

[dreamrise659]

lori and aimee- just a word from me on the gender topic. i can relate to much of what you both say. Basically I know people in my family were waiting for a baby girl...and I personally have no experirence with boys, and being an only child and very close to mum, think I had subconconsciously always imagined myself with, and dearly wanted, a girl of my own.
That's why i wanted to make sure I knew the gender, so that I would have time to be mentally prepared and to bond more with our little one, whether they be a boy or girl! As it is a boy, I am very glad we did find out and already he feels more real to me now and DH and I think we have found a name we both like. It's also given me a chance to accept that fact that this baby is not a girl and that I might never have a girl. There is a sadness for me in that fact, which is entirely separate to the excitement and happiness I feel about being pregnant and having a healthy baby, boy or girl, if that makes sense. I think it's a hard subject to talk about though, because a lot of people will judge, without understanding.

Hi Possums,

Thanks for your understanding. I know so long as it's healthy that is the most important thing but I have been made aware of how important gender really is. Even when you try to raise a child without gender stereotypes (like my ex and I did with her son) they still seem to just automatically develop boy or girl traits (like he always loved toy cars even though she had all sort of toys for him including dolls etc and he had a natural aggression which I haven't seen in girls - from day 1 he would screw his face up when he screamed and seemed so angry at the world!). Friends tell me that my child will be different because I will raise it differently (I never felt I had much of a say in what happened with my ex's son and she did alot of things with him - like letting him get away with bad behaviour, that I didn't agree with and never let my daughter get away with when she was his age). But I wonder how much is how they are raised and how much is just inbuilt... because he just seemed to be that way from the moment he was born. That is what scares me being on my own.

I can understand you wishing you had a girl since you were so close to your mum (like my daughter and I by the sounds of things). I'm really glad she is a girl and atleast I've had the experience of a close parenting relationship with her... probably even more so since I was younger when I had her and on my own from day 1 so in some ways she is like a friend rather than a child. we can talk about most things and plan our holidays together etc, make decisions about where to live etc. In some ways she's probably had more adult experiences (like going overseas etc) but I've also ensured she is encouraged to still be a kid (only got her own computer last year and still doens't have any electronic games machines, doesn't wear makeup etc... still very much enjoying her childhood and building treehouses etc). One of my friends has a daughter the same age (was also a single mum when she was born but now has a partner) and she encourages her daughter to dye her hair and get it cut spikey and wear makeup, have a belly button ring, wear "boob tubes", "****ty" short skirts and G-string undies etc and she's already had several "boyfriends". It means our 2 girls now seem like there is atleast 4 years age difference between them (where really there is only 1 month).

I think I've done a pretty good job of raising my daughter. I'm proud of who she is becoming and I guess that's why I'd love another girl... because I'm confident I could do a good job again, and not so confident about a boy.

Maybe you will have an easier journey concieving a 2nd child (if you decide to go down that path again) and maybe you will end up with your little girl?

It's a pity you can't get private care where you are. I can here but can't afford it. I appreciated having a private OB when I had my daughter as I liked the consistency - especially when I was adjusting to the idea of raising a child as a single mum. He was always so supportive and non-judgemental (unlike many others I encountered in medical circles who assumed as a young single mum I was stupid and had no future). I think being older now and because I don't have any major health issues going private is just a cost I can't justify. However if I had private health cover and it was included I would definately be going private.

Lori
DD -14
Bub due 28th Aug.

[Mindhugs]

Wow - you ladies have put a completely different spin on the gender thing that I had never considered. I have so many girls around me, sisters, nieces etc so it was expected by my family that I would be carrying a girl. I have always wanted a brother and so actually really wanted a boy. However I do not relate to boys at all. Although having a girl would have been just as good after all that we have been through. But I can see your perspective here, and it had never occured to me that it might feel like that for some people. Thanks for sharing. I don't judge, just more intrigued with the "how's" and "why's". I get it, I really do.

As you all know I'm having a boy. And am ecstatic, yet so scared. How on earth do you raise a boy when all you know is girls??? There were collective sighs around my family when I announced "a boy"! (as in - nevermind type of sighs). Yet I couldn't be happier.

Private care is good - but the costs are not!!! Waiting for our $2,000 "OB management fee" bill to come through the post. Which Medicare re-imburse a max of $200. Aaaargh!

OK - we need some happier topics here people.

I'll start....................is anyone else experiencing itchy nipples? Seems bizarre, but that's what I'm getting. DH keeps offering to scratch them, which I think is an excuse to continue to get closer to my new "bigger" boobies!!!

[grub17]

mh - with DS I had THE itchiest nipples ever! it drove me nutso. In the end i think i rubbed cream on them... but i can't remember what i used. ... just homebrand vitamin e i think.

yeah one of the main reasons.... actually the main reason we didn't go private this time was because there are only 3 private obs here. One was fully booked when I rang after our viability scan; the other was on holiday when i'm due; and the thrid I got in with... and then pulled out when he sent me his cost sheet!!! ****! it cost $2000 for a great private ob in newcastle and the other two here I understand also charge about that... this fellow wanted to charge me $2000 to "plan'' my pregnancy, a further $1000 to attend the birth and then $120 per consultation plus $300 per scan (which he does). So it was waaayyyy $$$$ conssidering I am the one doing all the bleeting work!!!

anyhoo that's why we decided on public... given I haven't worked for over a year, it was really a cost we couldn't afford. So that's why i'm so absooutely delighted to have made it inot the birth centre... which is public so completely free

possums - that sensitive digestive system and throbbing in your ears sound just awful! It's hard enough eating when preg, let alone having to limit that to bland food only. I hope things get a bit better for you as the pregnancy continues. I've been trying to eat a bit better since my GD. I am finding it sooo hard to control my appetite - i just want to eat constantly and not great stuff either. So I haven't had (much lol) choc for a few days.

The MW put me on some iron tablets cos my level was a bit low and gee whiz do i feel heaps better for it. I'm not dead on my feet at 5pm

Kelly d - how you love??? I saw your FB post about the branxton hicks. YOu are doing an awesome job with dem bubs!! I completely udnerstand if you don't have the energy to post but just know I'm thinking of you. Can't wait to hear the news that those lovely bubs have arrived.

One of our friends just had a little boy called Ayden - which i thought was a lovely take on the name. Also, two women I know have had little girls recently and both named them Ashlyn/Ashlin ... just a bit of food for thought for names. We are still struggling with girls names arrggghhh

[Aimee]

Hi everyone

grub - thankyou for your support, oh on the topic of names I accidentally named our baby.......oops i was going through our list of girl names and although its not my favourite (Sophie) it just felt right, but i won't settle on anything until after the birth. I only have two or 3 boys names but a tonne of lovely girls names. I feel like I know her now after seeing the 3d images and I needed something to refer to her as. I must be hormonal. glad the iron tablets are helping!

I also splurged today and bought one of those baby bjorn bouncers, so good, at least i hope it is. I have a lot of hand me downs being the youngest sibling in my family so haven't needed to buy hardly anything and we still have all of our things from DD1.

mindhugs - so glad you're excited about your little bundle, i think you will know exactly how to raise your little man! i know boys and girls are different, even my 2 little girls are like chalk and cheese and their interests and the way i need to discipline varies greatly. I know what you mean about stringy cheese, I think I'm addicted too!

Jaki - beautiful pic of bub!

Kaybee - thanks for your support, I think I just find the comments a little hard as I miss my little boy, but yes I think you're right, once baby is here, will be ok. I haven't been public (because of our health issues) but a lot of my friends have and had no problem. Its not too late but as mindhugs said they usually charge the nasty care and management fee at 20 weeks (for insurance and other stuff). My private ob is a little pricey, we have the usually 2000 care and management fee, but they dont charge much for the monthly visits and no out of pocket for delivery so he's a pretty reasonable one. And as we saw him for our ICSI and he was lovely we were happy to stay on. I still wonder if I should just go public sometimes though!

Possums - I can understand what you're saying about having time to come to terms with gender and it sounds like you've already bonded with your little man, yay for cute outfits and finding a name you both like, DH and I have often been at opposite ends on names and I think I actually gave in in the delivery room with DD1! sorry to hear about your ears and tummy, hope they settle down soon.

Lori - I hope you're doing ok and having a good week. I know what you mean about needing time to come to terms with it. I can see what you're saying about genders developing traits though. Is your daughter excited about bubs arrival? I bet she can't wait! Goodluck with your scan though and hope it all goes well!!!!

Kelly - hope you're hanging in there ok!

oneday - goodluck for your scan tomorrow! I'm not sure about the gender, I had a sonographer get a gender correct for me on an early scan (she offered to tell me). But none of the others I had been to had offered that early. Best of luck, enjoy seeing bubs!

My food cravings at the moment seem to change everyday which is very inconvenient when trying to grocery shop. Last week, I wanted oreos, cold milk, pizza, chinese, and snakes alive. This week I'm desperate for a buffet breakfast, bacon, eggs croissant, pancakes with syrup, fresh orange juice, thick buttery toast, english muffins. And I'm craving fresh strawberries but they are not to come in season for another few months!

Hi to airline and everyone else

xoxo

[TaRhLi.]

Hi Girls

Still here feeling like a big elephant with a constantly tight belly. I started getting consistent BH contractions on Saturday and timed them on Sunday - 6/7 per hour 7-10 minutes apart so yesterday rang the hossy to ask what they thought (I have my CTG monitoring booked for Friday). They told me to come in and get monitored so after arrange someone to look after DD, off I toddle to hospital for monitoring. Babies looked great and the contractions I was having barely registered although the pain I was getting "down there" when they were happening were enough to tak emy breath away.

My Ob was in the hossy when I was there so checked me out... Nothing happening labour wise so just told to go home and rest (yeah like that is an option) have some panadol (would prefer chocolate) and a hot water bottle and try and hold out for the next 3-4 weeks. So basically I'm feeling like c**p and there is nothing happening apart from me being in complete discomfort pretty much all day every day.

Sorry for the me post, I would love to discuss the girl's v's boys scenario but I am struggling with energy at the moment. Hopefully I can jump back on soon and offer my 2 cents.

[JBM]

hey ladies you do know i am still stalking you all. LOL . i have started jabbing so am praying to be in here with my BFP in just over one months time. not long to go now and we are having 2 embies put in so may have double news.

good luck to you all. x x

[Williever]

Hi everyone,
I am happy to be joining this thread! 5 years later I am 4 weeks pregnant. Now I know that's really early to be on here, but it's just great to be surrounded by happy pregnant ladies discussing things.

I just purchased some pregnancy vitamins....the feeling was quite surreal. I was thinking "these are for me. I am pregnant!". I keep having small moments where I say "oh yeah! Now I remember".

I am soooo tired!
Trying to find an ob to get the 7 week scan......I sound like such a newbie ;-)

Anyway....rambling....It's great to finally be here!

[Possums]

Kelly- oh I feel for you, it sounds really tough going for you in these final weeks....I hope you have enough support around you and can get some rest

willever- congratulations!!!!! so wonderful to have you here...good luck in these early weeks

oneday- fantastic news about your scan!! it is just so special every time you see your baby isn't it

grub- glad the iron tabs are helping

mindhugs- I too have no idea about boys! lol.... we will have to share notes when the time comes...I figure our little men will just have to teach us and let us know what they need and like as we go along

jbm- best of luck...cant wait to see you in here

afm- just saw my naturopath and he said I am in the best health he has seen me in! he couldn't believe how calm my system is since being pregnant (I am normally a whirlwind of activity and nervous energy) or how well I look and how spot on things are overall...so that was great to hear. He said the head throbbing could be the result of increased blood flow and some other factors and is just something i will have to deal with...which I am doing..no choice there ...lol. And lots of bland food for me
DH and I are still meanwhile debating the public vs private issue and trying to decide whether to drive an hour away so we can go private.

[dreamrise659]

Hi Everyone,

Williever, Welcome to the thread and congrats on your pregnancy. Fingers crossed everything continues to go well.

Kelly, so sorry to hear about the BH cramps. I was really lucky with my daughter I never had BH cramps. My ex also never experienced them. I'm wondering how common they are. I can imagine it would be very frustrating and exhausting to have that extent of pain and know that it's not leading to anything worthwhile.

Oneday, glad your scan went well. I wouldn't trust it even if they said they could tell the gender of bub because my first scan for my daughter (between 16 and 18 weeks) they told me she was a boy. 4 weeks later I was told she was a girl. The sonographer at the 2nd scan told me that at 16 weeks it can still be very difficult to tell so I imagine at 12 weeks the chance of it being accurate would be pretty low.

AFM: counting down the days till my scan (6 days) and I only have 3 more days of work left. Today I bought a new car seat so I'm pretty much set for what I need when bub first comes home from hospital. Also bought some new maternity jeans from Target (20-30% off clothes and nursey gear at the moment). I also booked our Easter holiday - we are going to Berri in Sth Australia. Anyone been there before? It will be about a 7 hour drive from home but I'm used to long drives and luckily my daughter loves car trips (and always has)... I hope this little bub will be okay in the car as it would be a real shock to our systems if we couldn't do long drives or road trip holidays in the future.

Lori
DD- 14

[Possums]

kelly- wow, hang in there! you must feel so stretched and uncomfortable

[dreamrise659]

One of our friends just had a little boy called Ayden - which i thought was a lovely take on the name. Also, two women I know have had little girls recently and both named them Ashlyn/Ashlin ... just a bit of food for thought for names. We are still struggling with girls names arrggghhh

Hi Grub, was just wondering if you know how they pronounce Ashlyn? Is it Ash-lyn? I made up my daughters name Ashalyn (pronounced Ay-shar-lyn) but she finds it very frustrating because most people upon seeing it's spelling they pronouce it Ash-a-lyn (I guess because of common names like Ashley). My daughter has to always tell people to pronouce the "A" as it's letter name not sound. I guess that's one thing to consider when looking at names (how are people likely to pronouce it?)

My plan is to make up this baby's name too.

Lori
DD - 14

[Mindhugs]

Hi girls,

Williever - welcome, and yes that surreal feeling never goes. Enjoy every moment of it.

OneDay - I was told at 12 weeks that I was having a boy as the pubic bone was clearly forming upwards not downwards (she zoomed in to show us) - though they stressed that this was only 70% accuracy. Then at my 18.5 weeks scan she blew up the anatomy on screen to prove it and typed the words "it's a Big boy". We didn't have the cord between the legs or anything. Hope you are able to see at your next scan. Very exciting!!!!

Kelly - I feel for you. I can only imagine how uncomfortable you are feeling and getting those BH cramps - ouchy. Fingers crossed those little boys stay snug in there for a bit longer.

Possums - we will swap notes for sure. So good that you are your healthiest, that's exactly what you want

Grub - I'm taking iron supplements too and it has made such a difference to how I feel. I use those clear liquid sachets that I pop in my juice in the morning. Judging by the nasty calf cramp I woke up with this morning I may need to add some magnesium supps as well.

Lori - roadtrip sounds like fun! Hope you guys get good weather!

AFM - saw my OB again yesterday. My blood pressure has dropped even further - almost clinically dead! So no jogs on the beach for me. He also booked me in for my CS on 17th August. So now looks like I'm having a little Leo instead of a Virgo. I don't have much experience with Leo's - can anyone enlighten me? I read a bit on it, certainly sounds like I'm gonna have my hands full - apparently they never stop!!!

[grub17]

hi lori - i believe they pronounce it Ash-lyn like ashley or ashton (my DS's name )

mh! there's an end date!!! bet you are really excited now you have that date! not so good about being dead, hope you are feeling okay lol. I have a very very low resting heart rate and had the nurses completely freaked out post-op for a ovarian tumour a few years ago lol. They brought in crash machines and monitors and the room filled with doctors... poor DH was in tears til I managed to tell them i was (at the time) extremely fit and had run 8km that morning lol.

Can't help you with Leo traits tho, but ROAR! lol all i could think of

DS is standing next to me with one of his gum boots on one foot and he's attempting attempting to put on one of my gladiator sandals on the toher... there is much grunting and concentration going on lol. And I'm being constantly interuppted to assist... so if this is a bit all over the place that is why!

possusm - that's such great news about your naturopath appnt. Must have just made you feel soooo good

WIlliever - yes you will!!! lol. Welcome love and huge congrats. We've all been at that scary first weeks so feel free to worry away ... that's soo normal! Really until i got your 20 week scan and started to feel movement - i found it extremely difficult to accept. And this, the 2nd time around, has been worse than iwth DS cos our first FET after having DS worked! Which is still soooo astonishing to us.

oneday - fab news on the scan! it's so amazing to see them moving around in there and you aren't feeling it yet lol.

Hope you are all well. oxoxo

[Possums]

hey ladies, just a quick one....

mindhugs- i hear leos are very affectionate and playful and loving..andyep, energetic...i could have one of those too

does anyone have recommendations for good parenting/baby books? I have a few pregnancy ones, but not many about what to do once the baby is here! I am a bit overwhelmed by all the conflicting advice I hear!
also, I appear to like chocolate again...they have giant chocolate freckles for sale in a charity thing at work and i keep demolishing them