Pregnancy after LT TTC #17

[LizLemon]

Kaybee - lol re the "bigger massiver one"! Man they say the funniest things. But I totally second the awesomeness of little boys - even if they can be a little boisterous at times.

Grub - yes!! I'm so excited with all this actual baby talk rather than pregnancy talk. I think I am more excited about this one than I was with DS as I know what great stuff is ahead... once I get past the first few weeks which absolutely killed me last time. We are getting back a bunch of DS's stuff from storage today (he had a lot of gender neutral stuff early on) so I can wash it all up. Awww!!

Lori - What a c**ppy time to be getting hassles over your work. It does sound a little sus, if this woman was so darn offended why would she keep bringing her kids back to you? Some people are just pains in the bum and you'll never be able to please them. In terms of what's inappropriate to be talked about in front of kids, I'm not really sure, as what is a sensitive topic for one person is completely fine for another, but as you said I would have thought as long as you steer clear of sexual/racial etc and anything that is intentionally hurtful or malicious I can't see how you can go wrong. And anyway, I imagine that some of the stuff that comes out of kids' mouths at regular day care that they bring along from home (prejudices, swearing etc) would be far far worse than anything you could've said. Try not to stress about it. As for the pains, they're not round ligament pains? Where you described sounds like round ligament but I've always felt them to be more sharp than crampy.

Is there a midwife at the hospy you can call just to put your mind at ease? Other things in that region could be gas (I get some terrible gas pains if I eat too much chocolate... like now...), appendicitis (unlikely but in that location) or just old regular stretching. But if you're worried, check.

Airline - great to hear you are going well with litlle Lewis!!

[Mindhugs]

Hey Lori - sorry to hear that's all happening at work. With both of my miscarriages last year I was getting a hard time from a colleague at work,to the point it ended in screaming matches. I didn't make it past 9 weeks both times. I quit that job and hey presto - sustained pregnancy!!! Needless to say I wasn't the 1st person to quit because of her!! You must protect yourself and your baby and remove that kind of stress from your life as quickly as possible. Try to look for the easy way out of this at your meeting just to remove it from your life. I can only imagine how much this has been on your mind. Can you explain to your boss that you're pregnant and want this meeting to go as smoothly as possible, moving to have a quick resolution? Not worth drawing it out.........................not as important as this little bub is to you!!!

As for the cramps - if it were up to me, I would be ringing the Dr asap. Don't take any chances. You want peace of mind.

AFM - off to do tour of hospital today! Excited & nervous. And yes, this talk of bubs is much more fun than talk of pregnancy!!! I'm feeling a lot better, apart from the snots and injections, but that's all manageable!!! Still digging the stringy cheese!!!

[Kaybee]

Hi Ladies,

Grub - yep, loving the baby talk. We're actually gonna have babies! Getting very impatient. But when I do, I try to remember how I felt and the forum posts from this time last year when being this far along seemed a distant hope.

Lori - it's so hard not to take these things personally. I'm a primary teacher and put my heart and every waking second (just about) into my kids and if any negative comment ever comes back to me I feel like throwing it all in and giving up. Or talking to the parents and saying 'don't you know how much I care about your child. Do you know that I was lying awake at 3am wondering how to help your son understand multiplication better...'. Things get so twisted in kids heads sometimes and when they tell their parents about something that has happened it comes out all completely wrong. And parents love their kids and trust their kids and forget to question them sometimes. I so hope your issue can be resolved easily. And if not, try to remember that it's HER issue, not yours. Some people are just twisted and always will be. Your baby needs you to be calm. I'd call the doc or that pregnancy hotline even about your cramps.

Mindhugs - how's the hospital tour go?

Bug's mum - bring on getting ready for the baby. Washing and hanging out baby clothes - it's so real. Yay!

Airline - so glad you're loving it still. Hope you're managing to get a bit of sleep.

I need to go and find a way to relax somehow. Have been living my own little nightmare lately. I think my marriage might be breaking down. Can't believe I just wrote that - wouldn't say it to anyone IRL and it's not pregnancy related. I actually think that our problems stem from LTTTC and DHs refusal to accept my pain. He always thought I should have just gotten over it each month and would never understand that it still kind of affects me now. I guess it's more the isolation I feel from not being understood all that time that has affected me the most. So, the distance has been growing for a while and we had a big blow up this weekend (over lack of sex - TMI). Anyway, he has gone away for work for the week and said he won't be back for a while. Sorry to vent about unrelated issues. I don't expect replies, but felt really good to tell someone about it. Thanks!!!

[grub17]

kaybee. Oh love, i'm really sad to hear that. maybe you guys need to go talk to someone independent and it might help. I hope things can be worked out for you, if that's what you want. I think that's a very male way of looking at things ie get over it, it's in the past move on.

anyway, of course you can share with us, especially if you can't talk IRL... you gotta talk to someone!

I hope this week away might help your DH see things from your perspective a bit.

big hugs again sweetie oxox

[Aimee]

Hi everyone

oh Kaybee - sending hugs, am so sorry to hear that. Am more than happy to listen, the stress and emotional pain from LTTTC and fertility and M/C affect our relationships and marriages, thinking of you.

Dreamrise - sorry to hear about your meeting, you really don't need that kind of stress at the moment . But hope they can work out a good solution for you. Hope the cramps have eased.

Possums - glad your FS/OB is checking on things for you.

Mindhugs - hope you enjoyed the tour!

Kelly - hope you're hanging in there!
I'm starting to get excited now which worries me as I've tried to be very low key about the whole thing. I'm starting to feel like I'm sharing my body with another person now as she often kicks me til I move out of her way and doesn't like it when I sit up straight or lean forward.

Yay! for getting ready for baby I can't wait to do the baby washing and go shopping for some soft warm winter outfits I've had summer babies so haven't been able to rug them up and I love love wrapping babies and having them cosy and warm and sleeping well. Not sure about getting up in the cold though, I guess my dressing gown and I'll become good friends again soon.

AFM - I had a scare on Friday morning (I'm a deep sleeper) and was woken by an intense pain after 4am, lower back and pelvis that I couldn't get rid of and was so bad I couldn't stay home (freaked out and thought I was in labour I had also had diarrhoea the night before), it even came in 1/2min intervals. The hospital told me to come straight in, the car ride was excruciating. My blood pressure dropped I went dizzy and had to be wheeled in. The nurse started giving me gas while waiting for my OB to arrive but I vomited it up (I've never had it before). Then when my OB came and checked me, the pain disappeared as quickly as it came, what the. I felt so stupid!!!!! I normally never go into the hospital unless I'm desperate. I'm glad everything was ok though. They said I could stay in for monitoring and rest (gave me the lunch and dinner menu) but I was happy to go home after a few tests. I wonder if its from my OHSS ovaries, they have been aching for a few days and were very swollen at my scan last week.
Is anyone else's ovaries still aching?

Also if anyone else has a sore back or tummy making bending difficult picking up after kids/toddlers all day my mum got me one of the claw things from the hardware store. So good for picking up all those toy cars and dressups and things lying around!

Big hello to everyone else! I'm really enjoying chatting about our little ones and hope you're all well.

xoxo

[oneday86]

Hi Aimee thats terrible but glad your feeling ok now! Im only 13 weeks pg but i still get little pains in my ovaries and im guessing they may still be a bit stimulated and iv had lower back pain the whole way through this pg but it comes and goes.

Kass dont feel bad for venting, my DH and i were fighting all day yesterday becuase he wants to sell our house and down grade so he can have a boat and enjoy his life!!!!!! but he rang his dad and his dad told him he is an idiot so i think that changed his mind. I do undersatnd where he is coming from slightly, we never have any spare money to do fun things because of IVF and the mortgage and now we have a baby on the way but i hate it i feel like material things are so important to him! When he comes home maybe have a sit down and discuss whats going on and im sure things will be ok everyone goes through their rough patches xxxx

[grub17]

oneday.. MEN! they are so dumb sometimes!!! and just a word about bad patches... Dh and I went through an awful patch a few months after DS arrived. Having a new arrival who is your top priority can be very difficult on a relationship, you are both tired, your horomones are crazy, you don't have the time you did for DH and if you are physically healing as well... well that doesn't help matters. I know one of the girls on this forum when I was preg with DS did a whole thread about her and her dh's struggles post baby Anyhoo, it's just really really tough because a baby is such a massive change to your home, yourself and your relationship. I know DH and I will be better prepared this time but I'm planning on sitting down and having a chat to him about it before this bub arrives to make sure we are in a better place this time.

aimee- i think you did the right thing going to the docs! don't feel silly!!! As for the pain, yeah with DS I had pain from my over stimulated ovaries... it lasted til abotu 34 weeks i think. I had a scan with a ob (who also did scans) and asked her to look for me and she showed me my right ovaries were still really swollen and with a baby in there pressing on them, it really hurt. It felt like i'd been punched and then occasionally i'd get a really sharp twinge. This pregnancy was a natural FET and I don't have that pain.

which hardware did your mum get that thing from??? I sssoooo need one. I find holding DS (who likes to sort of be propped on top of my tummy) is very uncomfortable. Getting loads of ligament pain in the last few days as well bbrr and generally my tum is just aching and feels very stretched now. ugh.

We all try so hard and it's so heartbreaking for us to get pregnant and I hate it that all I can do when finally UTD is whinge about how crap i feel... and I don't even have any other complications and am considered low risk! I don't know how you girls with other health issues on top of pregnancy do it!! you are truly amazing ladies!!!

well better go feed the child and get off to playgroup.

ox

[Mindhugs]

Kaybee/Oneday - I hear you loud and clear!!! I have struggled to get DH to give me sympathy and any compassion throughout the whole IVF journey. It does make it feel so isolating and hard. Why don't they get it? And it drains our bank accounts unbelievably!!! We are living on pittance, which is so far from the life we had before this journey started. I know it's all going to be worth but it does cause a strain. A few weeks ago I was searching the net for somewhere I could go to get away from him...........when I told him, he cried. Kaybee- I hope this is just a rough patch for you. God it's just not fair that we go through all this and then our relationships suffer as well!!!

Aimee - wow, you've really been through it you poor thing. Hope you're still feeling ok. What a fright!

AFM - Hospital tour was fine. Makes it all feel real. I don't like everything that goes along with CS, but that's my lot in life unfortunately. Confined to the hospital bed. Can't wait to meet the little doodle bug now. The impatience is really kicking in now. A bit of a way to go yet!

[LizLemon]

Oh Kaybee you poor darl. The LTTTC is just so hard and it changes who we are as people and couples. We have had our rough patches, and I'm sure we will again. Hang in there and talk to us as much as you want. xx

Aimee - that sounds so scary I would've been at the hospital as well. I'm glad it resolved itself

Mindhugs - try not to worry too much about the c-section. It IS hard for the first day and night, but after the first night you are up and about and the pain goes surprisingly quickly. My only problem was because I can't have anti-inflammatories they dosed me up on other things once the PCA was out and I kept wanting to go to sleep, so in the end I really went light on the pain relief. I think the people that have the worst time with c-sections are often those that had their heart set on a vaginal and are so disappointed. In the end I went with the flow and took it day by day. I'm completely ok with this one being a section as well.

AFM - had my glucose test on Saturday and had ninja bouncing around like a crazy thing for half an hour. Also had my weekly scan on Friday and mentioned that ninja was far less active than usual - I set off a bit of panic in the midwife and she got my OB to come and see me so ended up getting a thorough check. He said any reduction in movement prior to 30 weeks is usually very normal as the baby isn't big enough to be felt all the time.

Keep baking girls!!

[TaRhLi.]

Kaybee: Oh sweetie, I hope this is just your DH being a typical man and that after a bit of time out he comes back and you can talk about things a bit more clearly. I suppose we were pretty lucky as we only had to do 1 full stim cycle and as we had so many frosties we sort of always felt we had a backup whenever things didn't work. We also made sure that we continued to do the things we enjoyed as a couple which helped us to manage the disappointments. My DH is now really appreciating what I have done to carrry these boys - even with all the whinging and complaining - and keeps telling me he loves me.

Belly Rubs to everyone else.

Well I think my body is starting to get itself prepared for something to happen in the near future. I have been getting al lot of pain behind my pubic bone which even happens when I am laying down and this morning I felt a few contractions. Stronger than BH as they were uncomfortable but not unbearable, so I'm just monitoring them to make sure I'm not overreacting again. I think DD is also sensing something is happening as she has become much more clingy and cuddly with me, to the point that she will lay on the bed next to me and watch telly - something she has never done before. Last friday when I had monitoring in hospital DH looked after her and when she saw me after I had finished she ran up to me and gave me a big hug and then I couldn't leave her sight. As I think things might be happening soon I'm trying to make sure that everything in the house is all up to date ie: washing, clean sheets etc, so when I'm in hospital I can feel comfortable knowing all DH will need to worry about is looking after DD.

So lets see what the next few days brings..

[Possums]

hi everyone

kaybee...big hugs to you, I hope when DH returns you can calmly talk things through. I am so sorry you are in such a rough spot with it...and hope things improve for you both really soon.
It is such a strain on relationships, the whole LTTTC journey and all that goes with it.
DH and I have been having a rough patch lately and so many arguments on weekends (then I end up a crying mess) which only creates more distance, when in fact we both want more closeness and are trying to work on things. I think there has been a distance there for a while, with all the stress of recent years, and us both coping in our own ways. And I think now we are both excited, yet also stressed in a way, about how we will cope with a baby on all levels, including financially, so DH is working soooo hard all the time and is often tired and stressed.

mindhugs- glad the hosp tour went well and that you basically feel ok. Have you noticed with the clexane, that some spots hardly hurt, and others are very painful! I try and pick the 'good' spots to jab, but sometimes I hit one of the really ouchy spots.
I hope things are ok with your DH... I recently told DH after he was out working for a day I was glad of the peace in the house..we both felt upset then.

lori - best of luck with your scan and i hope you can get that situation sorted out at work...sounds stressful...so make sure as the others have said you put you and this growing baby first

kelly- 0h goodness- contractions! glad you are sounding organised with things at home and thinking of you and sending you my best to you and those two boys...hope you are doing ok x

bugsmum- glad you got checked out and reassured and all was going ok...always best to check i reckon

aimee- sounds like a nasty scare and dont feel silly...better safe than sorry and wishing you'd gone to a dr..i certainly would have gone, glad it eased off

grub - hello to you, hope the week is off to a good start

a big hi to anyone i have missed!

afm- all going ok...have a few days away at the end of this week with DH which is just what we need- some time out together, especially as he has been so busy and stressed lately.

[airline]

Kaybee....sorry babe...my DH said it's totally related, dolly. I read your email and had tears in my eyes ... I'm sorry it's got so hard. Plse be strong and listen to the girls on here...I can't advise anymore cos I have to go and I think you'll receive wonderful advice on how to best deal with it/him. Huge cyber hug.

Girls........have had nightmare of a few days. Sleep deprivation, .... addressed it with Save out Sleep...... it's (working a treat) whispered!!!!!!!!!!! plse may it last. We've been under dressing him...and he has self soothed to sleep all day!!! DH has him in sling right now, before bed...cute. Gotta go and have a vino. love to you all xxx belly rubs. xx

[oneday86]

Thanks for your comments ladies, is nice to know we arn't alone! i thought we wern't a very good couple for having arguments considering we finally have what we have wanted for so long. But i agree i think IVF takes alot from us, money, strength, happiness and it does effect our relationships its a very harsh journey and anyone that dosn't have to embark on it is extremely lucky for alot of reasons. My DH and i have always been ones to have arguments (we dont really fight) we just bicker but that has alot to do with the fact we are both strong headed and bossy lol! but the only things we ever argue about is money (or my husband wanting material things!) but at the end of the day we move on from an argument pretty quickly and realise we are being silly and we are so very lucky to have each other and our mircale bub on the way. I think the best we can do is get through each day as it comes and know that its normal to have these arguments or fights after a long and life changing experiecne. xxxxx

13 WEEKS TODAY cant hardly tell im excited with every week that comes

[Yogi Bear]

Hello gorgeous ladies!!!
I know its been a long time since i've been here but just wanted to pop in and say "hello" to you all...i'm so happy to hear that you are all going strong with your healthy happy pregnancies and growing, and glowing, very nicely!!

I have never forgotten just how caring and thoughtful you all were to me during my stay here....

I am gearing myself up for another round of self-torture (IVF!) and this time we are literally throwing EVERYTHING at it...all our money, 2 specialists, new clinic, all the drugs you can think of (intralipids, growth hormone, Luveris...you name it i'll be on it!). This time will definitely be our last, we are very ready to move on from the many years of heartache and pain associated with our ttc journey.

Anyway, I hope to see you in here in a few months

Sending lots of hugs and belly rubs to you all and wishing you all the very best in the rest of your pregnacies. Looking forward to hearing all your good news over the coming months.

Much love & light
Yogi xxx

[dreamrise659]

Lori - it's so hard not to take these things personally. I'm a primary teacher and put my heart and every waking second (just about) into my kids and if any negative comment ever comes back to me I feel like throwing it all in and giving up. Or talking to the parents and saying 'don't you know how much I care about your child. Do you know that I was lying awake at 3am wondering how to help your son understand multiplication better...'. Things get so twisted in kids heads sometimes and when they tell their parents about something that has happened it comes out all completely wrong. And parents love their kids and trust their kids and forget to question them sometimes. I so hope your issue can be resolved easily. And if not, try to remember that it's HER issue, not yours. Some people are just twisted and always will be. Your baby needs you to be calm. I'd call the doc or that pregnancy hotline even about your cramps.

I need to go and find a way to relax somehow. Have been living my own little nightmare lately. I think my marriage might be breaking down. Can't believe I just wrote that - wouldn't say it to anyone IRL and it's not pregnancy related. I actually think that our problems stem from LTTTC and DHs refusal to accept my pain. He always thought I should have just gotten over it each month and would never understand that it still kind of affects me now. I guess it's more the isolation I feel from not being understood all that time that has affected me the most. So, the distance has been growing for a while and we had a big blow up this weekend (over lack of sex - TMI). Anyway, he has gone away for work for the week and said he won't be back for a while. Sorry to vent about unrelated issues. I don't expect replies, but felt really good to tell someone about it. Thanks!!!

Hi Kaybee,
I'm so sorry to hear about the problems you and your hubby are experiencing. As I've done this all on my own I can't really comment on how it would effect a relationship but I know that I have found it hard that none of my friends understand what I have been through and even now that I'm 20 weeks pregnant the stress of trying to concieve doesn't leave you. I still have alot of mixed emotions about my journey so I'm sure if I had a partner who didn't understand it would be really difficult.

I am also a qualified primary teacher (and TAFE teacher and Librarian) and worked as a primary teacher for 3 years. I think parents often have no idea how much we put our heart and soul into our kids and like you said we lie awake at night thinking about how we can better help them. I used to tell my friends that full-time teaching is atleast a 60 hour a week job. It's not the easy job with lots of holidays that they think it is. That's why I went back to library work and then into the TAFE sector (where I worked 15 paid hours a week so really around 30 hours a week by the time you factor in curriculum planning and marking etc). I went into Family Day Care as a low stress alternative for my final round of IVF and until this complaint it had been low stress and I had been enjoying it. It was long hours (47.5 paid hours per week and I still spent some of my own time planning and preparing activities etc) but still less than fulltime teaching and I could be home with my daughter.

I remember at one school I had one parent who, when I called her in to discuss her son's behaviour, asked me why I couldn't "make him behave". Now if she couldn't get him to behave at home (where she has more options of discpline such as taking away after school activities or TV viewing rights etc) how did she expect me to get him to behave without her support. It was one of those days that I just wanted to throw my arms up in the air but the next day I had another parent tell me how much her daughter enjoyed a particular activity I had organised the week before so that made me feel better and battle on. When I left that school I had alot of the parents and students tell me how much they would miss me and how great I had been etc. So you just have to hold on to those positives.

Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th Aug

[dreamrise659]

Just a few quick hellos

Kelly, I'm glad everything is going well and it sounds like the boys might be here soon. Best wishes with it all.

Yogi Bear, good luck with this cycle. I really hope it works and it will all be worth it. I found stress was a major factor for me so hope you can find some ways to try to stay as unstressed as possible! I think accupuncture did help in that regard. But in my case quitting my stressful job prior to my last cycle was the main difference I think. Fingers crossed that this will be the one.

Aimee, I agree you did the right thing going to the hospital, though I can relate to the feeling silly when it then stops (part of the reason I so rarely go to the Dr or hospital - but that's not a good thing because then sometimes what was a minor thing can end up really severe - like when I got such a bad case of thrush). I'm glad it's all okay now.

Will post seperate post to tell about my big day yesterday.

Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th Aug - possibly a girl!

[dreamrise659]

Hi everyone,

Well as you know I had my meeting with Family Day Care yesterday and then my 20 week ultrasound.

Well the meeting with Family Day Care was pretty horrible... I'm not sure how much they believe me and how much they believe the mothers written statement. They seemed to believe most of what I said. I couldn't believe some of the lies the mother has said including:

1) that I pulled the kids by their arms to get them into the car. The kids were in fact all really good at getting in the car themselves and one of the 2 and a half year olds even used to do up her own seatbelt (I would just double check it before I hopped in the car). So why would I need to pull them by their arms to get them into the car????!!!! The woman who rents the unit at the back of my house - well her study window faces where I park the 4WD which I use for Family Day Care. When I told her about this part of the complaint last night she said she'd be happy to write a statement saying that she saw the kids always get into the car themselves and I never "pulled them by the arm" to get into the car. She was just as gobsmacked as I was that the woman would even think to make up such lies.

2) that I made a comment about the father being unemployed apparently stating "I thought he would have a job by now"???!!!! In actual fact as far as I knew he was only unemployed for around 3 days and I know through personal experience how difficult it can be to find a job in this area (twice in the past 5 yers I have had nearly a month of unemployment between jobs) so there is no way I would ever make a statement even similar to this.

3) that my daugther told the children off. Truth is that if the children I was looking after ever got into a fight with each other and I was in another room (like the kitchen preparing their food or the toilet etc) then my daughter would come and tell me what happened so I could intervene. So she never told them off herself.

4) that I spoke to the children with an aggressive tone of voice and if they hurt themselves I didn't console them (both complete lies).

and too many more to even mention. I was completely floored by all these allegations and I don't understand why the mother would even make up such lies (except in an attempt to then get out of paying me the approx $750 she owes).

Oh and I found out what the other "inappropriate conversations" was - when I told the mother that my mum's best friend was on life support and it looked like being turned off that day. I explained that I told the mother about this because both my daughter and I were very upset about it but that only the 10 yr old was within hearing distance of the conversation (and really even if the younger ones had heard how would 2yr olds even know what "turning off the machine" meant to be able to potentially be upset by it????)

When I left there my friend/ support person told me she couldn't believe the way the meeting had gone and it turned her off ever considering doing family day care and she would discourage any of her friends from doing it too. Both of us have alot of experience working in schools and there are set procedures which must be followed if a complaint is lodged. I have still not seen any written documentation about the complaints - though the manager kept referring to a written statement by the mother. I believe I should be entitled to see exactly what she has written. Apparently in her statement (which looked to be 3 A4 pages long) she has explained why she couldn't take her children out of my care earlier. I would love to know what her excuse was.

When my daughter was preschool age I used family day care services and twice pulled my daughter out from a particular carer because of issues I had with the way they were doing thing. In one case the carer tried to charge me for when she was going on holidays (so I would have to pay her and pay for alternative care for that fortnight as well) I knew this was illegal and told her so. She got nasty so I complained to family day care and pulled my daughter out. The 2nd time a carer made negative comments about the relationship I was in at the time. She made the comments to me but in front of my daughter. I immediately withdrew my daughter from her care, lodged an official complaint with family day care and had to pay three times as much to then put her into a childcare centre. I also still had to pay the carer out her "notice period" - which I did. I was a struggling fulltime student and single mum at the time and paying the extra childcare fees meant we had no spare money for any emergencies, let alone clothes, treats etc. Had to pretty much live on 2min noddles and eating at friends places etc for that next fortnight just to scrape by. Three quarters of my total money each fortnight after that went just in rent and childcare fees then. But I wasn't prepared to leave my child in a situation which I didn't believe was in her best interests. So I can't see what excuse this mother could have for leaving her kids with me if she truly believed I was a bad carer????

Anyway after we left I ran into the mother of one of my former TAFE students. She asked me how I was and I told her I was now 20 weeks pregnant so she congratulated me. She then said "I just want to thank you again for everything you did to help J*** with the course. He's doing really well now and I really appreciate what you did." As we left my friend said to me "well that was nice to hear someone appreciate what you do after that horrible meeting." I agreed it was really good timing to remind me that I am a good worker, good teacher and good person.

Family Day Care will apparently take a week to write a report and decide what action will be taken. The manager (who I had never met before) seemed unaware I was pregnant (so nobody had passed on the news about me having my ultrasound straight after the meeting and therefore needing it to not drag on too long). When I mentioned about the scan she seemed suprised and asked me how far along I was. When I told her 20 weeks she didn't say anthing else. No congrats or acknowledgement or anything. And that was how the meeting ended.

Well now for the ultrasound...
Bub seems fine. All measurements were slightly small for age (measuring between 19w1d and 19w5d when I am actually 20w1d). Kidneys, stomach, heart etc all fine.
Baby kept moving around. In the time that I was in there it moved it's head from my left side to my right side, to up towards my ribs and then down towards my bottom. It was also moving it's arms around alot. The guy said there is still plenty of room for it to move around at the moment.
At the start I told the ultrasound guy that I really wanted to find out the sex and he said "well we'll see what we can do - no promises". Anyway at the end he had a look. He said I think it might be a GIRL. I was so surprised. I told him I had been thinking it was going to be a boy (though hoping I was wrong). He said that he used to tell people he was 51% sure (since it's a 50/50 chance anyway) but "they didn't like that". He told me that mistakes can be made so he wouldn't say definately. I told him that with my daughter, who is now 14, the first scan they had said they think it was a boy but at the 2nd scan they said it was definately 100% a girl and the guy doing that scan had told me he had no doubt and had never been wrong. This guy yesterday wasn't prepared to give me a definate (I got the feeling that maybe he has been wrong before and thats why he won't give a definate answer).
He did show us one shot of the babies legs and bottom and said "well I can't see any boy bits there so lack of boy bits means it's probably a girl". Anyway my Dad has taken this as meaning it is a girl and my mum (who has been hoping it would be a girl) used this news as an excuse to buy some little girl dresses but I'm still feeling unsure due to the ultrasound guys response.

I would love to see if there was some way I can get another scan in a month or 2 to confirm it because I would hate to get all the way through the pregnancy thinking it is a girl and then end up with a boy as I don't think I would cope very well with that. If it was going to be wrong it would be better if I thought it was a boy and then got a nice surprise that it was a girl.

Oh and the cramps... still getting them. The sharp ones appear to only come when I am particularly stressed or anxious. the duller ones are more constant and I have been told that they are probably "growing pains" because the baby is growing so rapidly at the moment so your body is having to stretch. Anyway at least I'm relieved to know it's nothing to worry about and bub is fine.

Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th August - possibly another girl (hope so).

[Mindhugs]

Hey Lori - Sounds like girl then. I can assure you there are dingle dangles between the legs well and truly at th 20 week mark. I have a pic of my boys frank & beans (which were not small either), so there's no denying it for us. Although our ultrasound person is the best in the region and has all the latest equipment. She is prepared to stand by 100% what she see's is the sex. I think the issue lies when they can't get a clear shot between the legs or the cord is between the legs, and perhaps the equipment they use. Was your's a 4D scan like mine?

Yogi - hey there. Will be good to see you back in here again. My bub on board was our last one in the freezer on our last cycle that we could afford. So go for it!!! This is your time!

OneDay - 13 weeks!!! How excitment!!! Feels great huh?

Airline - Glad "Save our Sleep" is working out. It seems to be a controversial book. Either people swear by it or hate it! Control crying frightens me, but hey if desparate I'm sure I will give anything a go for the sake of sanity. I know many many women who have. Nothing goes quite as planned or expected, right

Possums - those injections!!! Some are fine, some hurt, some bleed and some bruise! It's so hit and miss. But you're right, you get to know the area's that are best. I've got about 130 left to take until CS date. Ugh! I try numbing the spot with a freezer brick before injecting. I have no idea how much this helps or doesn't, but mentally I think it does.

AFM - had acupuncture this morning and boy did it set bub off! Kick kick kicking!!! I could see strange shapes being kicked into the side of my tummy. Was weird, like the movie alien!