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Thread: Telling your employer

  1. #1

    Default Telling your employer

    So at what stage did you tell your employer?



    I'm in a icky situation. I just started a new permanent job just this week gone! And it was two weeks before starting that I found out I was 5 weeks along. Was almost tempted to pull out, but I really need the steady income now.

    I really don't know how I'm going to have the conversation. Already this week I feel guilty that I'm hiding something especially when new boss has talked about in 3 - 6 months time where he wants me to be in terms of knowledge etc (it's a PA role) and how he wants me to get involved in things (panic at the thought of long hours). All going well, in 6 months I'd be leaving (dr has said to leave work at 32 weeks, no later than 34).

    I'm also concerned about long hours and the health of me and the pregnancy. I always thought I'd get a chance to get in, work out what I was doing, work hard for the rest of the year, and then start IVF again next year. I expected to be busy initially but not whilst handling a pregnancy, (my post was lost a couple of weeks ago where I said I've had my miracle natural conception, so that's why this timing with the job is all odd). Obviously my priority is not with work and if push come to shove I'd leave, but he needs someone that can commit. I'm also worried people will judge me when they find out - why would you take a permanent job if you were going to get pregnant straight away? that kind of thing.

    I think I'm getting way ahead of myself in terms of worrying about things, I have my first scan on Tuesday, who knows if everything will be okay then (been scaring myself by reading about blighted ovums).

    Sorry, I have waffled on more than I thought. I've been quite bloated the last week or so, my belly is protruding already. Thankfully because I'm new noone knows that I'm looking a bit chubbier there.

    So how far along were you before you told your boss? Any tips on how to handle telling them, especially when you've only just joined the company?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Default

    This happened to me, although we were ttc when I was employed. A few weeks later I was pregnant, and starting to be really sick at work, people started commenting that I was going to the toilet every ten minutes and looked unwell. I lied and said I had gastro. I'm glad I did because you never know how a pregnancy is going to turn out (I learnt recently) and wouldn't want to have to tell work about a m/c.
    Anyhow.. I tried to hide being sick.

    When I was three months pregnant I was transferred to a smaller office where I only had to hide it from two people. After a few weeks of my new boss making me vacuum the stairs and complaining I looked unwell etc I told her that I was pregnant and I was only telling her so I didn't have to vacuum the bloody stairs anymore of lift the heavy mail and boxes she was making me everyday. (the other employee was a man and could have lifted the heavy mail)

    Then at four months Pregnant (about 7mths after I started the job) I went to Bali to get married and have our honeymoon for three weeks, I had sworn my new lady boss to secrecy and she didn't tell head office.etc..

    When I got back I had a belly I was 20 weeks
    The male employee was suprised lol

    No one at head office knew until I put in notice for maternity leave at 8 months pregnant. I worked until 37 weeks.
    I was denied paid maternity leave but was happy to resign to be a sahm anyway

    I was only an advertising exec. For a newspaper so not irreplaceable anyhow

    I guess head office was ****ed but I did what was best for my family

  3. #3

    Default

    Hi Incomplete,

    Firstly congratulations! I think I do remember you from other posts somewhere on BB.

    You can wait for as long as you want to tell your boss, there is no minimum time frame. And they cannot discriminate against you because you are pregnant either. I guess it is up to you but if you are worried about the long hours etc it may be better to let them know sooner rather than later. They will most likely be fine. You probably don't need to tell them at this stage when you want to stop work either.

    I found out I was pregnant just before I started a job with my first. I didn't tell them until I was 12 weeks. But with my 2nd I ended up telling everyone by 8 weeks as I had morning sickness and would sometimes have to leave the room quite abruptly. I didn't want them to think I was strange! This time I am in the process of going for a permanant job (which I am doing at the moment as a casual). I was hoping that it would have been all finalised by now but the applications don't close until mid Oct. So I told my boss I was preg because it is getting pretty obviously anyway. Hopefully it won't go against me in the application, although theoretically it shouldn't matter.

    I really think it's a personal thing, just go with what feels right, and try not to feel guilty, no one expects you to tell before you are ready.

    Good luck with everything!

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