Hey everyone,
I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, to post, because I don't want to make it worse. But here goes.
Somehow I am pregnant. Naturally. I was all ready for ICSI to start in June and then ... my period didn't arrive and I had a positive pregnancy test. That was two weeks ago. I was so happy. For about 2 days.
Then, I started spotting. And since then, I've had quite a few episodes (mainly brown, but lasting 2 or 3 days at a time and two red/orange spots, when wiping - I know it's a bit TMI). Anyway. I had an early scan to check for ectopic (not, it's in the uterus) and I've got one on Thursday to check for heartbeat. I'm probably around 6 weeks right now. My HCG levels were fine and doubling. I have symptoms and feel like I'm still "pregnant" (ie sick to my guts, exhausted). But I'm also having low sudden pains, esp at night. I recently had a lap and it reminds me of the sensations after the lap.
I am just crying all the time. Especially when I have to go to the toilet, and then I see the brown stains on the TP. I am so afraid of losing the pregnancy.
I am trying to "stay calm" and I know it's 50/50 chance, so that can be seen as glass half full.
I just don't know how to relax. Perhaps I should give up on relaxing.
Reading stuff online is terrible for someone like me (a bit depressive) because I can only seem to notice the stories with the sad ending.
I am so incredibly grateful to have become pregnant, and I would be so glad to continue and see a baby in Feb.
At first, I didn't tell anyone. Now I've told two close workmates and our families know. It was too stressful going it alone.
I just wanted to put it out there really, because I don't really know anyone who might understand this as much as some of the people on here.
Can I ask, if you have had a loss, please don't tell me about it now? I know that it happens, and it could well happen to me, but it's not helpful for me to dwell on that right now.
Best of luck to all,
WW
worrywart all I can suggest is look at the positives. Bub is in the right place and HCG was doubling. That is fantastic. No one wants to see bleeding in pregnancy so of course your worried but its brown mostly so that is great and it doesn't sound like your in pain with the bleeding just at night which is also normal to have some stretching pain. You still feel pregnant which is great. Any other symptoms like sore boobs etc? I hope Thursday comes quick for you and your scan shows a lovely little bub with a gorgeous heartbeat then you can relax a little more. I know this probably doesn't help but just wanted to point out the good things. When you have had such a difficult journey to get to this point I think your anxiety is 1000 times worse. Sending you stacks of sticky vibes.
One of the girls in my belly buddies group has had frequent spotting and another one had a few episodes of bleeding around the six week mark too. Just wanted to let you know that it does happen! Both these girls are now nearly 20 weeks pregnant, so there is lots of hope for you hun! Also alot of people have stretching pains, I still get them if I turn over in bed at night, all of a sudden its a searing ouchy pain in my lower lower tummy, so you're not alone there either.
I had bleeding at 5 & 6 weeks. Quite heavy. It's not that uncommon actually, but knowing that doesn't make it any less stressful of course. I hope that your scan goes beautifully on Thursday and you can find a bit of reassurance. Taken together with a baby in the right spot and nicely rising HCg that sounds very good. And, cramping, even painful cramping, is quite normal in early pregnancy also - I think especially for a first pregnancy as your uterus is stretching out for the first time.
Can I be quietly excited for you? Pregnancy can be a very stressful time, and even more so for the LTer. You get so used to disappointment and failure it's hard to accept when things go right. And then I think there comes the dawning realisation that although you've finally reached the point you've been aiming for for years, this is really only the start of your journey.
If it makes you feel any better I had some cramping and bright red bleeding at about week 5 which totally freaked me out. Then I had brown spotting a few times after that.
Like you I went to the doc and Hcg levels were good and then the six week scan showed a strong hearbeat. My FS told me that about 1 in 4 women will have bleeds during pregnancy so we shouldn't be so scared by them.
I hope this helps to ease some of your concern and that Thursday gives you more peace.
Maggie
Last edited by Maggie; June 15th, 2010 at 02:15 PM.
worried sick
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