Hi
I saw my FS on Thursday and am on OCP ready to start a full stim IVF cycle. I am starting injections in a few weeks and need to have my 6 month old weaned by then. Hence I started weaning on thursday. I have severe endometriosis and really need to have my babies (hopefully) close together as my endo is very aggressive. I also think i would have chosen to have my children close together even if I was blessed with normal fertility. I have dropped down from 5 breastfeeds a day to only 2 breastfeeds today. I had problems with sore BBs for the first 3 days but they feel ok today. From day 2 of weaning I have been feeling so sad about weaning. I feel like I am grieving. I feel like my baby is growing up too quickly. I feel like he won't need me anymore once I stop BFing. I feel upset that I have to make this choice. If I didn't have to choose between breastfeeding longer and having another child I think I would feed until my baby weaned himself. I feel a bit cheated that I can't do things the 'normal' way - it is now cheating me of breastfeeding for longer. I never thought I would feel that way about BFing and I used to think that I would be happy even if I only BF for 3 months. I don't think I realised that it is about more than just the milk - it is such a bonding experience. Luckily my baby is coping with it much better than I am. He is not fussing over the bottle (although he only just worked out how to suck it properly today! He hasn't really had a bottle before this!). I think the hormones due to the weaning and the OCP which I am not good on at the best of times are a lot of what is playing havoc with my emotions.

I need to remind myself that I have given my baby and myself 6 months of BFing and he has really thrived on it. I also need to remember I really really want to have another child and focus on that. Thankfully last time I didn't have any emotional side effects from the injections so hopefully it will be the same again. Of course I experienced all the stress and anxiety that are normal with AC but I didn't turn into the ***** from hell I have been known to become with PMT!

So sorry for ranting!