6th pregnancy..terrified!(updated to prob over already)
Just found out last week i got a BFP from my most recent IVF cycle.
This is my 6th pregnancy but i only have one very special DS and 6 angels to show for it.
I just can't help feel so terrified about this one. Every other time i have tried to feel positive that it was going to all be ok only to be crushed when things went wrong.
I felt really negative about this IVF cycle but somehow have actually got as far as pregnant. But I still have a really bad feeling about it and just don't know if I can take another loss, I think it will destroy me... I am sooo scared
My first HCG at 11dp 5day ET (16dpo) was 525 and yesterday (20dpo) was 3600. Numbers sound fine but for me, are actually much lower than with any other pevious pg (even my singletons). Can't help my mind from stressing over this.I am on prednisolone,for the first time this pregnancy plus clexane which i have used before. Praying they do somehing for this bubba
Don't know what i wanted to get out of this post. Just wanting to vent I guess.
I thought the TWW was bad enough but now i have the 7ww to get to 12weeks with endless TPP ( toilet paper paranoia), overanalsing symptoms ( or lack thereof).
Just wish I could go back to the naive joy of just being pg and simply expecting there would be a baby at the end of it all.
:stickyvibes: :babydust: Oh hun i wish you all the best for the future. IO know its easy ot say but try to relax and be positive. i really hope that this one sticks for you... HUGS
Thanks ladies, especially Michelle... I know you do watch over me from afar and that is so lovely of you.
Just wish I felt some joy about this pregnancy. The only positive I feel is relief that at least I don't have to go straight back into IVF ( at least for now).
The joy will come. Even if you don't feel it now, try to make memories of this pregnancy that you can reflect on when the stress has left. And that may be after the baby arrives. I don't think I ever really felt joy during my pregnancies despite loving being pregnant. I miss not having felt brave enough to live in the moment and enjoy each positive rather than worry about the potential negatives and the what ifs. There were good moments but I still think they were overshadowed by the fear.
Talk away. Having your fears out in the open often makes them less overwhelming than tucked away in your head
I understand only too well - there are many of us who can never return to that beautiful naivete that we once were with regard to pregnancy. But you have us all here - even if from afar holding your hand and truly, gutwrenchingly understanding you.
My only advice is to live truly in the moment. Those numbers are great (much much much higher than mine with Immy) - they are doubling. Today you are pregnant. I pray and hope that this pregnancy gives you that much awaited sister or brother for your little boy.
Join us in the threads, let us support you and I am sending you so much love and support...
I wish we could all go back to that naivety. But here we are. Together. And together we understand how you feel, the additional costs (including the cost of toilet paper ) and the stress waiting for the next milestone to pass so you can worry about the next one.
Vent away. It is a torture I am happy to hold your hand through (unfortunately cyber only) and you know I will be there every step. You know the drill - each pregnancy has different levels, they are perfectly normal. But it doesn't really help to be told and it doesn't make you worry any less. Come September / October I will be thrilled to read your birth announcement
P.S. No idea if this makes any sense at all - sleep deprivation has kicked in and robbed me of coherent speech
6th pregnancy..terrified!(updated to prob over already)
Reply With Quote
) and the stress waiting for the next milestone to pass so you can worry about the next one.
Bookmarks