Feeling disconnected

[skybie]

I dont know if its because its getting close to this baby being due or something more but for the last week ive been really disconnected from this baby.
i used to lie in bed everynight and watch her move around and make DF feel her, but since i packed my bags i havent even touched my belly hardly.
i dont feel like she's coming home with us, i cant picture her here.
i couldnt with DS either and its scaring me.
is it normal to feel like this?

[~StarBright~]

I can fully understand how your feeling xoxox I think it is a little normal to feel scared and in a way you rmight feel a bit like your protecting yourself a little by disconnecting a bit??? Its so hard to go through a pregnancy after a loss... the whole time is full of moments of wanting to be positive and moments of knowing the dark possibilities

The closer you get to the end the harder it might get. I wouldnt look too much into the idea that you felt the same with DS... there are different reasons why your feeling like this now, but I do understand that feeling and know what you mean- i felt it with Angel DD, i just knew the whole time she wasnt going to make it, and then with DS.. i guess i wouldnt let myself feel it, i didnt really picture him being here because then i was getting my hopes up.

Maybe try once a day to have a little moment, and talk to your belly bub.. tell her your feeling a bit scared but that you love her so much. A good friend told me that to get past any feelings, you need to feel them and acknowledge them, so tell her your scared because you love her so much. Feel it, and then you dont have to be scared of feeling it. Does that make sense?? And it might help you. Dont rpessure yourself to be a happy excited mum to be, coz that is just too much to try to do. But remember that your fear comes from your love of this bub, and of DS, so even if you feel disconnected, you really are focusing on her alot xoxoxox

I will be thinking of you in these next few weeks and sending lots of love and strength and white light your way

[forshelby]

to get past any feelings, you need to feel them and acknowledge them, so tell her your scared because you love her so much. Feel it, and then you dont have to be scared of feeling it.

Fantastic advice, StarBright.

Skybie - I do think it's only natural to be afraid, but I can't really speak with any kind of wisdom as I just haven't been there. I can't even imagine, hun. Sending you strength and courage for the weeks ahead.

[Charlotte91]

Only have a minute to reply, as DD is being a ferret.

Although I haven't been through what you have, I feel disconnected from this baby.
I feel like I don't want to bond with him/her because what if he's sick, too??
What if he too has a birth defect, one that can't be fixed like DD's could?

I'm scared. I've got 4-5 weeks before my morphology scan and I'm scared.

This isn't meant to hijack your thread, just that I sort of understand what you feel. I know it's not the same.
s Skye.
xoxoxo

[Razzberry]

I don't know what its like to lose your child Skye, so don't feel like I should comment but I am thinking its pretty normal to feel this way. Maybe talk to your doc about it?

I feel very little connection to this baby too, I thought it would be different after dd's difficult pregnancy and all my fears and anxieties, but still don't understand why I am feeling like this this time.

Big hugs hunxx

[TeniBear]

It's completely normal. I didn't feel it as much towards the end, but I felt it so much at the start and middle with Amelia. I just assumed I was going to lose her too. StarBright has great advice, the best thing to do is just to confront your feelings. The psychologist I saw while I was pregnant said something about taking time to just be with "this baby" as well as having some time where I should just focus on "the other one". I never got around to doing that, but it might work for you?