Thanks Debbie,
I understand what you are saying, and you are only human and it's normal to feel like that.
I am fine. I really don't think I am having a baby until I get past 20 weeks now. It is sad to see two lines and then see them fade but that is the baby game. For me it's important to be mindful that 30 percent of pregnancies are lost before 7 weeks. Once you see that heartbeat things are looking good. Until then I feel extremely cautious and you girls are the only ones who knew!

I would say those little cells didn't land in the right place or perhaps the chromosomes didn't quite gel. As you know it's better it happens in these early days than months down the track.

George thought it wasn't a good sign that the test had got slightly lighter but did also say that that can just be the test. The only definitive way to know is the Quantative HCG. I will get the results this evening. George will see me next week either way. If the result of the bloods today show that things didn't work out this cycle George will do some progesterone levels through this cycle and perhaps do a round of clomid to shorten my luteal phase. He suggested that perhaps the reason for things not continuing this time is that the luteal phase wasn't long enough to sustain the pregnancy. It's a bit of a 'who know's' thing but we'll talk about it in full next week.
Of course I feel sad that things didn't work out. I also wish I didn't have to go through another month of ttc! I've gotta get lucky soon though girls and that's all we can hope for. For me there is no point in too much lamenting, I will feel down for a couple of days and hopefully next week George and I can formulate a bit more of an action plan.
So, I will let you know my levels when I know them but I am almost certain that they will indicate that things will not continue.
I am really sorry I dragged you all through this. I will never test again until a few days past my periods due date. NEVER AGAIN!!!