Hi Mara

I am sorry you are here posting with us but I am glad this forum is here for you to be able to do this. I was like you and was very shocked at the loss of our Marley at 9 wks after a very easy preg and birth of our DD who was 3 when we started trying for our next bub. It suddenly undermined all of the blissful expectations we had around conception and carrying bubs. We were able to bury our bub and mourn in a very concrete way but it is amazing how awkwardly our society supports (or more to the point often doesn't) people who lose babies. I hope that there is a supportive network of people around you and that your confidence in probability (I acknowledge the point above about the fact that you never take anything for granted again - so there are no guarantees or absolute chances) returns. Three months after our loss I fell pregnant with our DS who is now 9 months and thriving. I am an older mum at 40 with DS so I had a lot of extra concerns about aging this and that and that hung around in the background as well. So as everyone above has shared - all of our babies, here or elsewhere, have a place in our heart and that it is only hope that can give us confidence to keep going.

Karen van