It's so hard not to stress after having a loss. I lost my first baby and now get very anxious at the beginnings of all my pregnancies. This pregnancy I was convinced I had lost the baby because I had some slight pinkish mucus at 6 weeks even though I had strong morning sickness. It was exactly the same as what happened when I lost my first baby, so I was terrified at my first Ob visit when he did the scan. I almost cried when he initially couldn't even find the baby on the external ultrasound, but I have a retroverted uterus which makes things hard to see early on, and an internal scan showed both the baby and a nice strong heartbeat, phew!

But I'll always be sad that I never got a blissfully ignorant type of pregnancy where you don't expect something to go wrong at every turn. I remember that very first Ob appointment with my first pregnancy, and it never even crossed our minds that the baby might not be ok. We were so blissfully ignorant and it all fell apart and unfortunately you can never get back to that, and will always think about "what if". The good news is that even though you stress about things, you can still enjoy and appreciate the miracle of life growing in your womb