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thread: Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss #3

  1. #73
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Thanks Joeve I guess it is something that will never go away. I just hate that something as special as pregnancy is marred by such negative thoughts at times. There is no way I could have set anything up yet, I have been given some things already but they are tucked away out of sight. I was feeling great up until the start of this week, I don't know what changed. I know it won't be the same but I want to feel excited about this pg like I did with my previous one. Thanks for your lovely reply xx


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  2. #74
    Rach83 Guest

    I find it comes and goes Aries.
    My second miscarriage baby was supposed to be due this week and I'm finding I want to lash out at someone. Best if I stay home I think! I just want to fast forward til my baby is born. I'm nowhere near as happy as I was with my first pregnancy. In hoping it will change when I start to feel movements.

  3. #75
    Platinum Subscriber

    Apr 2010
    coastside, Vic
    2,172

    Hey Aries,
    Its a good idea to come in here, everyone understands. A psychologist friend once said to me when you have a m/c or pregnancy loss you lose your innocence and the next pregnancies will never be the same. Its so true. I've had a scan every week too, and I only have one in there! Also, its not your fault if anything happens and no one will think it is, I know its hard not to feel that way,every time I m/c I felt like i was letting everyone down.

    I'm not coping very well either at the moment I feel like everything is against me, and because my sister is pregnant, and having a dream run, all my problems just seem magnified in my head.
    My latest stress is that I had an obs appt yesterday and on the scan she saw an area of bleeding, but she said its in a strange position so she doesn't know what it is. I am having my early morphology scan next week so it will be investigated than. But she said its highly likely it will bleed again as its near my cervix. I didn't ask any more questions, but it just made me so depressed, another thing to worry about.
    I also have realised I am going to have to leave work soon as I can't cope physically, so that is stressing me out majorly due to the financial aspect. I am going to try and stick it out for 3 more weeks, then I'm on annual leave for a week.
    As for buying things or settling anything up- no chance!

    Sorry for the me post, I hope everyone else is going well, nice to see you nearly out of the 1st trimester Joeve!

  4. #76
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Thanks ladies
    I'm glad I came in here.

    Rach83 I hope this week treats you well. I find the due date the hardest of all, not sure why. I think maybe that I wonder what could have been but isn't. Thank you for your kind words

    Saffy, how frustrating for you to hear these things and to make you worry more!
    I too worry about financial things so I am budgeting and saving like mad now. Too organised for my own good sometimes lol!! Enjoy your annual leave when it comes around.

    Everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am and that having two babies kind of makes up for losing one..... I don't see it that way though, is this wrong? I don't think I can ever replace my baby. I see what they are saying but I am getting a little sick of it!
    I think all these feelings arose when DH told me that he is really afraid of a repeat of last time, I think it upset me to think of him as being anxious. Of course I'm glad he did open up to me, I just don't want to disappoint him.
    Sorry this post is all over the place! So many thoughts and feelings. I hope you lovely ladies don't mind!!
    xxx


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  5. #77
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729


    Everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am and that having two babies kind of makes up for losing one..... I don't see it that way though, is this wrong? I don't think I can ever replace my baby. I see what they are saying but I am getting a little sick of it!
    Ugh, I flippin' hate that. But I've come to understand that some people aren't trying to be insensitive even though they are. You can never replace your boy. He will always be your first born, always be in your heart, and having a second and third child doesn't make the first one go away.

  6. #78
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Hi Maruschke! Congrats on your darling little girl

    Yeah I think it's best sometimes to just think that they haven't been in the situation before and are saying what they think is best. It's something I have to let go of


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  7. #79
    Rach83 Guest

    The one I hate is - well at least you have Jemma.

    Yes I am lucky I have her but does that lessen the blow any less.

    That's a good way to think of it Aries. I just think back to how I dealt with my friends miscarriages before I had mine and wish I supported her more and knew what I know now.
    It is definitely something not understood until it is experienced.

  8. #80
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Hi Rach83 - mine at the moment is "Wow, two for the price of one... You get a replacement plus an extra!" Im not sure how to take it so I just leave it....(until the day where I am that hormonal that I will not be responsible for what comes out of my mouth lol!!)

    Wow I feel heaps better ladies, thank you so much. I will wait for my scan on Friday and go from there I think. One day at a time

  9. #81
    Rach83 Guest

    People are so thoughtless sometimes. It's never a replacement. I think they say such things for lack of what to say.

  10. #82
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    598

    Hi everyone!

    Well I am now around 2 months post D&C for a missed M/C at 12.5 weeks with my lil pink jellybean. It was confirmed she had a chromosomal abnormality but not genetic.

    Today I just got my BFP confirmed on a digital test and getting my bloods done tomorrow to confirm it all.

    I am excited but worried and don't want to get my hopes up. I know I have had a late loss at 20 weeks so I know that even if you get past the 12 week mark things can happen.

    I'll have to have a read through all of the posts and get to know you all. Hopefully it will also help me to understand everything a bit more.

  11. #83
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Congrats on your pregnancy Deedles!! I am so sorry for your losses
    I have just come in here due to the anxiety of being pg again and have found everyone to be lovely and so reassuring.
    Good luck with your test tomorrow


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  12. #84
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729

    Hi everyone!

    Well I am now around 2 months post D&C for a missed M/C at 12.5 weeks with my lil pink jellybean. It was confirmed she had a chromosomal abnormality but not genetic.

    Today I just got my BFP confirmed on a digital test and getting my bloods done tomorrow to confirm it all.

    I am excited but worried and don't want to get my hopes up. I know I have had a late loss at 20 weeks so I know that even if you get past the 12 week mark things can happen.

    I'll have to have a read through all of the posts and get to know you all. Hopefully it will also help me to understand everything a bit more.
    Super big congrats!!!

  13. #85
    Registered User

    Dec 2011
    Perth
    335

    Hi all,
    Sorry I haven't been around much!

    Deedles - congrats on your BFP! Your fears are completely understandable, i'm so sorry for your losses but am glad you have this brand new opportunity You will probably have a lot of ups and downs in this pregnancy but there's lots of lovely ladies here who (unfortunately) completely understand!
    Rach - yay for nearly 16 weeks! Sorry it's a hard week for you I hope you get movements soon, they've made a big difference for me!
    Aries - hi, welcome - sorry you need to be here but the gang here are the best - as you've already discovered! Good luck for your scan tomorrow. I always found I felt better and more confident for a little while after each one!
    Joeve - your own pregnancy drags while everyone else's flies hey? The weird thing is, yours is dragging for me too!! How does that happen, maybe it will go quicker after your 12 week scan?
    Saffy - huge hugs I really hope you get some answers as to what that "area" is next week, you don't need that worry. Physically and mentally, stopping work sounds like a good decision, even if it sucks financially!

    AFM - It's been a bad couple of weeks with a lot of episodes of heart palpitations. I have really low blood pressure now so the episodes are just affecting me so much more, feeling like I've just run a marathon all the time and came pretty close to passing out while driving the other day eek! I just hope it's not affecting baby at all. If it's only me affected, I won't worry at all!!

  14. #86
    Rach83 Guest

    Congrats deedles!

    Thanks mich. I've been poking and prodding alot lately and then when I feel something I then need to fart so guess its still wind lol! Shouldn't be far off now surely!

    I have an OB appt on Tuesday
    I usually start feeling anxious after about 3 weeks post appt so luckily my next appt is due by then and the scan makes me feel tons better.

    Just want it to be my due date already. The weeks are flying by anyway so shouldn't really complain

  15. #87
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Victoria
    561

    Evening ladies

    Thanks Mich8 I certainly am feeling a little more in control now after chatting here and IRL with some family members. Scan tomorrow and I really just want it to see those lovely strong heartbeats again. Thanks again!

    Rach I totally understand the anxiousness about three weeks post appt, enjoy seeing bubs again on Tues

    Hi to all!

  16. #88
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    In a house, on a hill with a big fat welcome mat!
    6,772

    Aries glad you are feeling better!
    Rach I just keep laughing you are having a speedy pregnancy still and mine is dragging I feel like every week I gain you gain 2 lol
    Mich glad you think I am going slow too!
    Saffy thinking of you xx
    Deedles congrats!

  17. #89
    Rach83 Guest

    Lol I know!
    You are taking forever! How does that work? I think it's cos I had my head in the sand for the first 12 weeks!

  18. #90
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    598

    Thank you ladies for your lovely words. It is a scary journey being pregnant after loss.

    I went to the doc today just to chat to him about a few things and get the bloods done. He told me I didn't need to get the bloods done as I had them done a few months ago?
    Also he made me do another pregnancy test and the line only came up very faintly.So I was extremely panicking but he said its normal as I am so early.
    I have a dating scan booked for Friday 3rd Aug so only 2 weeks to wait!

    I also had to do a test when I came home and it came up a very dark positive. Maybe the tests they have at the doc are less sensitive? I also noticed for me that my FMU doesn't get as dark a pos as midday, weird?

    Rach, Oh I agree. I just want to be over half way already. Though I do want to enjoy this pregnancy as it is my last. So hopefully if I make it to the 12 week scan I can start to relax a bit more.

    Aries, so beautiful hun. 2 lil beans growing. I hope today's scan was absolutely wonderful!

    Mich, thats not good you poor thing. That must have been scary having heart palpitations while you were driving. I hope they settle down soon and disappear!

    Thank you all for the warm welcome and support. xxx

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