Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss #5

[damprye]

Melster- That made me . I won't get the flu shot cos I then instantly get the flu and am sick worse than getting the flu naturally. OMG how do the kids not know lol? I can't get away with that here as DS1 tells me when I'm pregnant!

Greenslw- I fell over once with a bub in a wrap (at home cleaning) and he was just fine. You instinctively fall in a way that bub cannot be harmed, even if it seems to go against physics. In a wrap or carrier, it is actually safer as you have to use of your arm (I say arm as the other tends to grab bub for added safety) to help you manoeuvre to a better position for you as well. Hope your DS is feeling better.

Calluna- That is basically the majority of replies she got before taking down her post lol.

Me4- Unfortunately there are people that do, such as my step sister. She not only has faked a twin pregnancy she miscarried at almost 6 months (anyone see the big mistake in that lie?) and she faked rape as well. She has seen the sympathy I have gotten in the past for it and loves it for herself (Iwould rather go without the attention) she also starts a new claim that she may have cancer every time someone announces that someone has cancer. We have 3 recent cancer cases in friends, one recently had a mastectomy and her husband is gravely ill with cagenuine (bowel I think) and my friend's now 6yo son that has been fighting for 3yrs now with his brain tumor. Needless to say she disgusts me. So yeah, the family have always favorited her and so believe her, yet I have my scans, bts, etc and I'm apparently the fake. Hence one reason I don't see most my family or often and never see her if I can avoid it cos I just wanna punch her in the face and call her bluff. It degrades everyone that has/is going through it. I'm not going to delete anyone cos most of them are well meaning, like a couple of my close friends know and they have questioned me as to if I'm doing the right thing by the baby, myself and my boys, especially with everything that happened last time but they are also offering their genu full support to go with my decision without talking behind my back like a couple of busy nosed betty's like it is gossip.
As to the cramps, it could be your ligaments stretching and/or be a poo problem. I have to keep adjusting my vitamins in order to keep regular (sorry TMI) cos if I'm not getting enough iron in particular, I'm too runny and that causes cramping (also cos of not enough fiber but I throw most of that back up so can't do much there) and then too much iron and I start getting constipated and that causes cramping.

AFM- Seen a doc yesterday and am allowed to take panadine forte (does slightly better than panadol) and was told that I was depressed and that is likely the reason for it. Either that or low iron. I call bs on the depression though as he said that because I was in so much pain I kept breaking down and crying, was short with the boys and because I slept a lot the day before and was having trouble staying awake yesterday (also today I had a nap while a friend watched my boys for me). Pain does that to me though and after being sick for the last few weeks and the migraine for the last few weeks, of course I'm bloody tired. One of my signs of depression is being tired but also along side of having trouble falling asleep and that is not the case here. My house being messy is another sign and that is present but slowly improving and heck, again after the last few weeks and with the constant ms (not just nausea but actual vomiting every damn day any time of day), what can really be expected? Another sign is that I won't have anyone over, won't go out, don't want to work, etc, well I have had 3 different friends over in just the past week, while still feeling like crod and with a messy house, have gone out near on every day and apart from the ms and sicknesses, I have wanted to work and have been working and for the enjoyment, not just the money. Another (well and advanced) sign is self harm and that isn't happening at all. Obviously abstaining from activities that generally bring joy is a sign for most people and that isn't happening. I also overspend and while that is kind of happening with the car, that isn't happening, the car is a necessity and I'm not going out and buying something like an iMAX, instead I'm buying a car that suits out needs and our budget (how I would love an iMAX though lol.While I had been exhibiting some of those signs earlier in the pregnancy, they have died off/ gotten less which matches more of James's pregnancy. I'm expecting a lil spike again if I get to a point I haven't much going on if it is like James but I also didn't have kids to run after back then lol. I am also asking for help when needed and/or wanted, whereas I wouldn't be doing much of that otherwise. Yeah, that doc has annoyed me heaps lol.
Awesome news is I threw out the off foods in my fridge without hurling!Been trying to do that for a fortnight now (mainly just out of date stuff but also "fresh" broccoli, etc). Would have been nice if I had the same success with this post though lol

[Greenslw]

Mel of course it's your choice but look into flu shots, I'm not convinced especially while pg, hope your feeling better soon

Damprye did your doc suggest a counsellor for depression? I know all the pg hormones play with my mental state but lucky I have good work colleges who can chat with me. But for cleaning out the fridge that is always liberating for me.

Me sore and yep here comes the cold, but it never lasts long and love lemon honey drinks. Bit annoyed I can't find any cough lollies with no menthol too, dam pharmacist said its not good to have menthol during pg, now I know I can't unknow hope everyone has a great Easter. First egg hunt in my house tomorrow bit excited really

[Greenslw]

Woke up at 430 this morning realising how impossible life is going to be when baby arrives. DS will be in school when I go back to work, DF job is crap and he doesn't contribute anything to the house or bills and there is no way I can work full time but guess financially I have np choice what am I doing? Was having another baby a bad idea why am I the main earner in the house grrrrrrr. Now I feel like I'm hung over and tired and have a family BBQ. No food is staying down well and only my mum knows I'm pg so no sympathy, I'm really cranky with DF but not for anything in particular probably not fair. DS loved the Easter hunt this morning which was nice but still cranky......
Sorry vent

[damprye]

No, he was just a walk-in doc that seen me for all of 5mins when I was in a bucketload of pain. I already have a plan set up if I do start slipping again set up with a mental health specialist

What do you mean he doesn't contribute? Even with a crap job, there has to be some contribution...what does he spend it on? Or did I misunderstand?
I was stressing about being the main income earner as well as I am running my business, working as a kitchenhand and studying and looking for another job. X talked about getting a job once and that he needed to hand in an application but then just sat on his @ss. He was getting newstart (only $405pfn) but $200 went on rent/shopping, $100 on smokes, pot and alcohol and I dunno about the rest, just that he always complained about not having money.

Also tried lifting spirits with an Easter hunt here but the chocolate keeps making me vomit. The smell of it, the thought of it, not even going to taste it. I need to go get dressed for the Easter service but I'm laying here trying not to spew again, although I doubt I can after the last one. Spent about 3/4 of my last one dry after the 1st 1/4 was a massive projectile for the most part.

[me4ever]

Damprye - hugs sweety - for having such an attention seeking stepsister And hugs because you're still not feeling well. Hopefully you'll feel better today and might be able to enjoy easter with your little boys!

Greenslw - hugs for you as well. Hope you're feeling better today as well. The bbq might be just what you need to distract you from worrying about financial worries in the future. Is your cold getting better yet? Have you been taking extra vitamin c tablets? They seem to help me heaps, when I feel a cold coming up. Are you going to ask your clinic about weaning pessaries at 10 weeks?

AFM have been having crappy sleeps at night and feel headachy during the day, it's on and off. Am trying to rest a little less during the day but doesn't really help. Have been having such vivid dreams. I had the weirdest one about visiting my obstetrician and the midwife. With weird rituals which involved weird paintings on arms and belly, instead of just a check up of weight, scan of bub and blood pressure, haha. My husband's birthday party yesterday went well and we managed to surprise most of the family (excluding his parents, who already knew...) by showing the more or less set up baby room. His aunty started crying and was so happy for us, she set me off as well. Everybody is happy for us and Grandpa said - about bloody time... Grmbl we've been expecting this baby for over 3 years :$ My brother and sister in law were so surprised - they had given up hope for us and thought their baby to be was never going to have a cousin... Boohoo, nice to know. Anyhow, still my brothers and sister to go. Am really nervous about that, as I will have to do it through the phone, not face to face, which I would have preferred. Definitely hope now that bub is still going fine in there and we will have something to show for it in 30 weeks!
Happy Easter!

[me4ever]

Double post :$

[Greenslw]

Damprye I'm so glad you have a plan. As for DF he pays nothing, it's complicated he has a house rural which won't sell etc which he pays for, we live in my house which would sell but having lived rural per DS it's not an option for my career. I'm not the most patient lady and I think Me4 is right my cold is getting to me DF works hard and probably earns ok money it's just not enough to pitch in.

Me4 I asked the clinic around the patches and they said right up to 12 weeks the pessaries don't bother me just the patches that now have made both my thighs red and itchy.so glad your coming out party went well.

ATM had a good chat with my mum today who put me back to reality, I will be fine with maternity leave and worrying about two years away is silly anything could happen, gotta love my mum. DS is finally over his sugar rush too thank goodness.

[Greenslw]

La la la double up

[Melster]

Morning ladies

How is everyone?

I told my BOSS....Told him that i was stressed etc..he said to try not be stressed about things i cant change..he seemed ok about it....i pray anyways....he didnt seem upset but who knows...i know legally there is probably not alot they can do...i just hope i keep my job because i need it...Still got MS....blerrrrgggggggggg..especially in the mornings....i told DD4...she seemed ok but a little unsure..hopefully she will be ok

[VintageVixen]

Good Morning Ladies,
I am so slack with posting here regularly. Sorry

Mel: Even if your Boss doesn't like that your pg he can't fire you as it's discrimination and against the law, even if your casual.

Greenslw: I don't think there's ever a "good" time to have a baby financially. We put off having #2 for financial reasons and I'm now regretting not biting the bullet and doing it earlier. I think you can over think things.

Damprye: I really admire that you have a plan of action should the black dog come back again. Well done!

Me4: Pregnancy dreams spin me out! I had a sexy one the other night about Marco Peirre White (the English Chef off Masterchef the professionals). I don't even find him attractive lol!

Lyra: Welcome and

AFM: We had a quiet Easter. I worked every day except Easter Sunday (hello payday). DH let DD eat chocolate for breakfast Sunday then wondered why she was so feral for the rest of the day... MS is not fun. Mornings are the worst and I time factor in a vomit when I'm getting ready for work lol. I keep telling myself its a good sign. I caught a cold last weekend and have been barking worse than a robbers dog. The worse part is that because of my MS and bad gag reflex all it takes is a couple of coughs to start me retching and then I lose whatever's in my stomach. I'm suffering mildly from constipation this time around. No cramps but a heavy uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

[Greenslw]

Mel brave girl I need your courage, will you get maternity leave at your job or are you going to have a big break? Hope ms gets better.

Vv wow you are going to have a great payday, thanks for sharing I've snapped out of it. My DS had choc for breakfast and yep silly season. Hope cough goes quickly

Me back to work and over sad moment. Hosp appointment in a week, then hopefully a scan date soon. I've also decided 16 weeks is my tell the boss date so 24 may which has relieved some pressure on myself.

[Greenslw]

why am I stil getting double ups

[Lily Dust]

why am I stil getting double ups

This thread seems to be particularly vulnerable to it, Greenslw.

[Melster]

VV...yeah i know, im just paranoid..i thought they would really be upset with me as my DD is 20mths old..and i just had a year off....hopefully they dont find a way to make my job reduntant or anything

Greenslw i dont know about brave...i was a weeeeeeeeee bit stressed and nervous LOL....i text him easter monday to warn him...are you worried about you're job?

[me4ever]

VV - haha about your dream! Thanks for sharing Had another couple of weird ones just in half an hour, including snow and "langlaufen" in a park nearby (no snow ever where I am...) and I saved some twin babies from floating down the street in their bassinets, WTF??!? Yay for working heaps and nice payslip this week!

Melster - well done on telling your boss! I'm waiting till after 12 week scan, as I don't want to tell her too early as she was a cow when I had my mm/c last year... No understanding whatsoever, she doesn't have kids and has no idea what it's like losing one.

Greenslw - less than 2.5 weeks to go for your patches! Yay! Countdown has started. Hope your cold is gone now...

Damprye - how are you?

Lyra - how's it going girl? Hope you're alright - haven't heard from you for a while?!

AFM - Just freaking out a bit. Getting close to the point where we had the mm/c diagnosed last year - 11 weeks. Had D&C 11weeks1day. Had been another wipe of blood yesterday and still slightly spotting this morning. Don't know if I should ask the ob to fit me in, just to have a wee look at the baby and see if it's still in the running. He doesn't really think bleeding is important, but that in combination with the crampy feeling last week maybe?! I don't know how accommodating they are/can be with mums to be with previous m/c... What would you guys do? At least I'm having acupuncture done today, so hopefully will feel a bit better. 2 weeks now till my next ultrasound and am going for bloodtest for it today or tomorrow.

[Melster]

Me4ever...are you private or public? im private and he is really good with scans etc and told me to ring him at anypoint and i have with bleeding. When i was bleeding with DD20mths he got me to go in 3 times for scans just to make sure..and with this one no bleeding and i have had 2 scans..6-8 weeks...

What sort of cramping was it..was it pulling and uncomfortable and period type pains...or was it unbearable/hurting pains and you felt like you wanted to cry pains and lasted for a while?...whats the blood like..is it dark or is it red?

I think i remembered the point i had the missed mc..no blood but there was one night i had pain for about 4 hrs...it was a different kind of pain..very intense and it hurt...now i know the difference and it was then i think the baby passed. then i lost my symptoms..

If it were me i would probably ring..even if they get cross..just to double check...buggar them..you worry about you.

[me4ever]

Thanks for your speedy reply, Melster. I'm private, but on our first visit with this pregnancy I asked him about a bleed and he said he doesn't want to know about bleeding :$ He said there is no problem at all with a bleed, lots of women bleed according to him... With my mm/c there were no symptoms whatsoever, besides the HCG rising very very slowly, but got up to an acceptable level after a while. Still he could see from the scan it wasn't going to be alive a week later when we did the 2nd scan. This time he was very optimistic about our little one, but that was over 2 weeks ago.
The pains were just slightly crampy, like AF, but all over my belly and lower back. (normally with af only lower back is sore, as I've retroverted uterus) I went for a walk but had to walk really slowly and walk back home as it was so sore. Then settled again after sitting down and rested for most of that day. I don't have any loss of pregnancy symptoms, still extremely tired, feeling good on and off. Tender breasts, and those vivid vivid dreams. And belly is still growing.
I'll see what the acupuncturist says and might call the ob afterwards and see what they say.

[me4ever]

double post again :$