Well ladies, it looks like my fears have been founded.
I started bleeding this morning and it has gotten quite heavy. So I think I may be leaving this thread.
Not sure if we are going to try again. 4 miscarriages throws you and you have to start to wonder if it is worth it all (I know it is, but at the moment, not so sure).
Hope you all have wonderful pregnancies and you never know, I may be back!
oh kirsten honey I am so sorry you are bleeding I know you've heard it all before but many woman bleed and everything is 'ok'. Is there any chance you can get a scan today or see your OB early? If you can't see them today maybe go to a GP (any GP you can get into) and get a referal for a scan?
Kirsten im so sorry to hear that you are bleeding, im praying that everything is ok for you. As cherished said it can be quite normal to have some bleeding throughout your pregnancy. Thinking of you hun
Well our nice string of good news seems to have u-turned.
Thank you all for your words of support, I really don't know what I'd do without this place and all of you.
Kristen- the girls are right some people have heaps of bleeding in successful pregnancies, it makes it very scary but it does not always mean the end.
Little ones- can't wait to hear your new baby news
AFM-I had a lovely girls day yesterday with my lovely housemate/friend, she is wonderfully caring. I have had such hugely mixed emotions. Because there was never a gestational sac or anything to see on the scan I feel like I don't know what I've lost, was there ever really a baby there? I know I'm sad because I was pregnant and now I'm not but I have no pain, no bleeding it's almost like it never happened and that just leaves me feeling empty. I am also trying hard to think of something else to focus on for the next 2 months because it will be that long till we can do the next IUI but I've kind of forgotten what I ever did with my time before all my energy was taken up making babies. Bit lost at the moment.
I have been gone for 2 days and have been unaware of all the heart ache people are going through, I am truly sorry .... All my emotions from my last mc come flooding back as I read your posts...
Huggs to everyone, I know it doesn't make things any better or easier right now, but we all know time eases the pain, but the memory and love will always be in our hearts!!
Kirsten74 - I am so sorry sweetie, I know some women bleed during pregnancy, but its of very little comfort to me, when I have bled. I really hope there is good news for you. Am thinking of you. Don't think about whether there will be a next time yet, just get through the tough time you are in now. But having said that, I have had the same thoughts as you....
Sunbeam - I am so glad your flatmate was able to take the time to be with you yesterday. How blessed are you to have such a beautiful flatmate. It's ok to be confused, this is tough and confusing stuff. You will sort out how you feel. Its just really tough right now. You'll get there.
TwinSis - hey good news. I too get the symptoms you describe. I just try to eat and hydrate, and rest of course, as that seems to help. Glad to hear that things are going well.
AFM - still sticky. 9 weeks now. still expecting the worst, esp when others are doing it tough. but positive too? I am a contradiction. I am at peace with the pg, and trying to enjoy every moment, because I don't know when it will be taken away again. I love not being at work anymore, as I am so tired all of the time, I don't know how I ever coped with working full time. Take care.
Kirsten - I really hope you're wrong and it's just a scare. WIll you be getting a scan? be gentle with yourself
Sunbeam - glad your flatmate was looking after you. I can underestand the confusion. Do the doctors know what's happened? Irrespective, you have every right to grieve for your loss.
Dory - it's great the not working is helping you with peace of mind. I think one of the best things we can do for our bubs is reduce stress
Littleones - congrats on the birth of Hayley. I hope you and bub are well.
AFM. not much happening here. We have a midwife appt tonight, so hopefully we'll hear the HB. I also have to organise homebirth backup at Monash Medical centre (we're already registered with RWH, but Monash is closer) and I need to organise ambulance cover. I thought it was covered by my expensive PHI, but no.
I'm wondering when I'll be able to feel bub move (will help reduce the worry). The placenta is anterior and I'm overweight anyway, so I imagine it won't be for a while. I've also been replaying the u/s DVD, trying to see if there's a nub, but I don't know what I'm looking for and can't see anything. Oh, and I'm supposed to be working
Well I guess I will update in this thread as well.
Went for a scan at my Ob yesterday and was met by his ultrasound lady who also happens to be his wife! Have met her a couple of times before and so were comfortable with what she would tell us.
We were all prepared for the worst news, but it wasn't. Bub was there with a hb of 189 and measuring what it should. She found the source of the bleed which was nowhere near the implantation site which looked fined.
She said that hormones can get out of whack and if progesterone levels are too low then this can trigger like a period (not one obviously cause I'm pg) where the lining of the uterus which doesn't have the implantation is lost. Apparently this is how women get to 20 weeks not knowing they were pg as they kept getting periods. The pregnancy could progress as normal and I could just get some bleesing every couple of weeks (the timing fits as I am 8 weeks 1 day, so a period would have been due had I not been pg!)
The bleeding got heavier yesterday afternoon and was quite dark. It eased off later in the afternoon and stopped by the time I went to bed. This morning just a couple of brownish smears, but since coming back from the shops, some more bright red bleeding. Not nearly as much as yesterday or enough to reach a pad, but enough to freak me out everytime I go to the loo.
I was quite confident yesterday after leaving the ultrasound, but as the day wore on and the bleeding got worse I realised that bleeding like this can't possible have a happy ending. I was so confused when I left yesterday as I was ready to be told it was all over. I had accepted it. But to be told it hadn't gave us that little glimmer of hope that we didn't really want. I feel so bad for DH as he had such a good feeling about this pg and was so confident after we left yesterday, but I have been sharing too much info with him and have upset him.
You guys are the only ones who understand where I am coming from. I know he has been through the last 3 mc with me, but when it is happening in your body, it is different.
I know some ladies have success with getting progesterone up with vitex. Would it be too late to take it now do you think? I have my first "official" appointment tomorrow with the Ob and he will do another scan. I am not confident that he will see a viable foetus. I think I might let nature take its course with this one rather than elect to have a D&C as I did the last 3 times. I have a list of questions to ask him tomorrow and I want some answers as the info we get will determine if we try again or call it quits.
THank you all for listening and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
kirsten I will be thinking of you tomorrow hon. I think you will find that everything is ok, the other US showed a reason for the bleeding and you may find that you have it on and off as they told you. From those results I can't see why your pg wont be a healthy one. Stay positive
tashybaby I saw a poll somewhere on BB maybe in the general pregnancy thread? It is on when people first felt the bub kick and it looked like mainly around the 18-20 week mark but don't quote me on that cause I can't really remember, I only remember thinking "I've got aaaaages before feeling a kick" lol Oh I hope I get a DVD next week!
AFM I'm hormonal and tears have been flowing today not looking forward to a weekend away from DH
Kirsten - That sounds look pretty good results! Although I understand when you say you can't relax yet. Are you working? Can you just put your feet up and relax during the day (as boring as this is)
Cherished - I know how you feel, I work away all week and dont see DH. Weekends are so good for that reason, mind you, I find in the last month we've gotten all 'lovey dovey' lol
Tashybabe - i felt 'something' at 14 weeks but only when I was laying down adn really relaxed. at 17 weeks I knew i was feeling something and by 19weeks I could really feel movement but everyone is diffferent. I dont know how the anterior placenta works but a lady in my antenatal classes is a larger girl and she feels bub - even sees her belly move and I think she felt from 17weeks although the norm is 18-24.
Dory - 9weeks! thats great...I've watched your journey while I looked in on friends in the TTCAML thread and its great taht things are really going well for you
Sunbeam - poor words of comfort but as you said - thats is two out of three successes and you aren't giving up! Great attitude - I am so proud of you!! Hope to see you announce your bfp with your next IUI
Twin SIster - sometimes all you need is for the doc to say its ok...well at least until you get home and start thinking again lol...great news!
Hi to Sparkles, Elise, Karen Van and anyone else I have missed. I haven't gotten to this thread since it started and had SO much to catch up on!
AFM: 29weeks Don't know where the time has gone but, since some of you talk about it, I still check toilet paper...don't know why, probably just habit by now
Went to docs yesterday for u/s referral and he did general check up. Then he gave me the fright of my life. bubs heartbeat was at 182 which at this stage is classed as fetal distress so he was sending me to emergency department..checked it again, still at 180. then after 3 mins said "hop back up and lay on your side" that time bubs heartbeat was at 145...apparently laying on my back causes bub distress so I have been awake half the night trying not to roll onto my back lol.
DH says we will have to spoon so I don't roll over.
I think we are prepared now...have the pram, bassinet, cot, nappies and some clothes and two baby showers which should get me all the little fiddly bits. Starting to organsie my hospital bag that feels very weird to do!
I'm here just plodding along, trying not to be a stess head, spotting on and off still (very tiny bits), will call Ob on monday and let him know and probably have a u/s before i see him next friday. Well i will be having u/s, i;ll make sure of that so i don't loose my mind.
Tina - i can't believe you're 29 weeks...crazy!!! that went so fast.
Kirsten - hope your appointment goes well.
Hi to everyone else xx
TinaR - thanks sweetie. I am so proud of you 29 weeks. And so organised. I know what you mean about packing your hossy bag - in fact I am already thinking about mine. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be spending some time in hossy as the pg progresses, it's very weird to be thinking about that at 9 weeks, but better to be prepared. It's weird, DH and I have also agreed on a "reward" aka consolation prize if I go into hossy for an extended stay - we get a wii. Sorry that you got a scare. OMG, for those moments you must have been terrified. Spooning sounds good.... how many cm is your bump now?
Sparkles - make sure you have that u/s. Every little bit helps.
Kirsten - wow, what a roller coaster ride for you. It's weird how short lived the reassurance of the scan can be sometimes. Be strong and I hope your appointment goes well today. I have had expectant management for m/c ie wait and see) and have been lucky enough to avoid D&C's as a result. I don't have any info on vittex. I hope you get some information that gives you some peace.
Tashybabe - It varies for each woman and also each pregnancy, although it is expected that for subsequent pregnancies that you will feel the baby earlier. I think the average is from about 19 weeks. I am sure I have felt the "bubbles" and then more definite kicks earlier but it's hard to know.
Cherished1 - sorry to hear you're hormonal and lonely. Have you got anything you can do to take your mind off it? When DH goes away I always sleep on his side of the bed, as then i don't notice as much that he is not there. Seems to work for me.
Sunbeam - thinking of you sweetie. How are you doing today? I wish I could come and just give you a big hug and wait on you hand and foot. But a BIG cyber hug will have to do
Twin Sis - how you going today? i was doing some reading that said dizziness is common either because of low blood sugar/low blood pressure or because of the expanding blood cells and it takes some time for the body to adjust.
HPL - hiya. It's nice when someone is able to be positive.
Elise - how are you doing?
Karen Van - quiet? Are you busy?
AFM - felt miserable this morning, physically, not m/s, just like I was coming down with something, but have had a surge of the feel goods and am feeling the best I have all week. Might even venture out in to the big wide world. DH though told me he was suffering from a sore throat. Hopefully he kicks it quickly and doesn't share it! Had a wee cry yesterday. I built up the courage to call the hospital to book in and was told I was too early and had to wait til 12 weeks. For some reason after I ended the call, I just felt really sad. Oh well. I am used to inexplicable bouts of tears both from grief and pregnancy!
Afternoon all, hope everyone is feeling ok today Dory thanx for asking how im going. Im doing really well, just quite tired but thats to be expected. That must have been hard having them tell you you have to wait till 12 weeks. I probably would have had a little cry too. Hope your still feeling good Sparkles good luck with your u/s on monday, im sure everything will be just fine. Its amazing how much a scan puts our mind at ease. Tina wow how the time has flown, 29 weeks thats awesome. You sound very organised i sure hope i am when i get to that stage. Have fun packing your hosi bag. What a scare you must have got yesterday, im so glad that there was a reason for it and that everything is ok with little zen Cherished sending you a HUGE big cyberhug. Sorry to hear that your emotional and hopefully the weekend flies by nice and quickly for you and DH is home before you know it. Milly how are you doing? Kirsten how are you today? Im thinking of you and praying that everything is ok Tashybabe how did your ob appt go yesterday? I know what you mean about feeling bub move and feeling reassured. Its generally around 18 - 20 weeks but people have been known to feel flutters as early as 13 weeks so hopefully its not too far away HPL how are you doing? Sunbeam i hope your coping ok hun. You are such an amazingly strong woman and you deserve your little bub and i know you will get it very soon, thinking of you xoxo Twinsis how are you feeling today? Ive had quite a lot of dizziness and some shaking too but not too sure what causes it. I have an appt with my doc next week and am going to ask her. Littleones congratulations on the birth of little hayley, i hope your enjoying every minute(and i bet you are) AFM feeling good, tired but good. Going to look at nursery furniture tomoro with my sister so very excited about that. Probably wont buy anything just yet but just getting some prices. Also get lots of cuddles with my little nephew so that will be good.
Take care
Just wanted to pop in to say sorry i've been quiet lately. I had another scan done this morning and it says that bubba is measuring 8weeks, EDD is now October 3rd and heartbeat was 160.
Thank you all for being so wonderfull and asking after me. And a HUGE thank you to my RAKer. That made me feel so special and put a big smile on my face in a pretty tough week.
Littleones- congratulations on Hayley's birth, can't wait to here all about it.
Kirsten- I would not bother with Vitex at this stage I would be requesting bt to check prog levels and getting pesseries if it is below 30. Sparkles this might be an idea for you too if low prog is causing your spotting.
Congratulations to all those reaching milestones whether its 8 weeks 9 weeks or 29 weeks its fantastic to see the TTCAMALers prgressing so well.
Big to all those feeling a bit hormonal.
AFM-I had appt. with my Ob/FS yesterday morning. The my hcg had only dropped another 300 (2000 to 1700). He did a scan and could see what might be a tiny sac so at 4pm yesterday I ended up having d&c so that if we could prove the sac was precnancy tissue then we could rule out ectopic totally. I am still waiting to hear from him today so fingers crossed it is otherwise I may still have to have a laparoscopy too! Emotionally I feel like I'm doing okay, the fact that there never was a little bub on the screen has made it a whole lot easier somehow. Also my Ob/FS is so lovely that he bulk billled me my whole appointment, the scan and the whole operation, what a sweetheart.
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I know you've heard it all before but many woman bleed and everything is 'ok'. Is there any chance you can get a scan today or see your OB early? If you can't see them today maybe go to a GP (any GP you can get into) and get a referal for a scan?
not looking forward to a weekend away from DH
Don't know where the time has gone but, since some of you talk about it, I still check toilet paper...don't know why, probably just habit by now
congratulations on Hayley's birth, can't wait to here all about it.
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