Just wanted to pop in to say sorry i've been quiet lately. I had another scan done this morning and it says that bubba is measuring 8weeks, EDD is now October 3rd and heartbeat was 160.
Thank you all for being so wonderfull and asking after me. And a HUGE thank you to my RAKer. That made me feel so special and put a big smile on my face in a pretty tough week.
Littleones- congratulations on Hayley's birth, can't wait to here all about it.
Kirsten- I would not bother with Vitex at this stage I would be requesting bt to check prog levels and getting pesseries if it is below 30. Sparkles this might be an idea for you too if low prog is causing your spotting.
Congratulations to all those reaching milestones whether its 8 weeks 9 weeks or 29 weeks its fantastic to see the TTCAMALers prgressing so well.
Big to all those feeling a bit hormonal.
AFM-I had appt. with my Ob/FS yesterday morning. The my hcg had only dropped another 300 (2000 to 1700). He did a scan and could see what might be a tiny sac so at 4pm yesterday I ended up having d&c so that if we could prove the sac was precnancy tissue then we could rule out ectopic totally. I am still waiting to hear from him today so fingers crossed it is otherwise I may still have to have a laparoscopy too! Emotionally I feel like I'm doing okay, the fact that there never was a little bub on the screen has made it a whole lot easier somehow. Also my Ob/FS is so lovely that he bulk billled me my whole appointment, the scan and the whole operation, what a sweetheart.
Sunbeam : So glad to know you have a great support network with your. I am sorry again, it sounds like you have some wonderful people around you..
Kirsten: That's some good positive results from your appt... I know how frustrating it can be to think one thing but be told the complete opposite by the docs... Try and stay positive for you, yours DH and your baby... I have a good feeling about this.....
eliselouise85: I'm doing well, passed my last pg milestone 7wks 1day.. DF and I are really confident... To be honest ladies, if it weren't for my partner and his support I think I'd be a wreck
dory: my personality is usually bright and bubbly I am told, however after my MC i felt it took that part away from me, now I have to think about me, this baby and my DF.... Stay positive, healthy... Whatever is going to happen will, mother nature will take her course with all of us... I just pray and hope and know that all of us with be parents to heatlhy babies whether it be with this pregnancy or the next!!
Ladies I am sending each and everyone of you my Bubbliness and Positivines!!!!!!
AFM: Ultrasound next Thursday, our first one with this pregnancy very excited!!!
This is just a quick note to update everybody on my appointment today.
Went in and usually for a first appointment they weigh you, do BP, dates etc, but when I told the midwife about the bleeding she said she would hold off on all of that until the Ob had done a scan (sort of figured that would happen). I was sure that it was all over. Had even made a list of things to do when I wasn't pregnant anymore (silly things like finish the bottle of COwboys in the fridge!)
Anyway, after a 45 minute wait we went in and told him what was going on. He had a note from the ultrasound lady (his wife) who had told me that the measurements were OK, but were actually showing 7w4d when we were actually 8w1d. So that just reinforced in my mind that it was not going to be a happy ending.
We went in and did a scan and the first thing he said was "there's a live baby". I started to cry. When I asked what it was measuring he checked and it was measuring 8w3d. Exactly where it should be! Either blobby has had a growth spurt in the last couple of days or the angle wasn't quite right when it was done on Wednesday. I broke down. I lost it. Started to sob and everything. He then looked around a found a little tear at the bottom of the placenta which is over my cervix and that was where the blood was coming from. He said there was still a lot of placenta attached to the wall and he was 87 to 90% certain we would get a healthy baby! He said since it had a growth spurt it indicated that there was little chance of a chromosomal abnormality, which I was worried about as I am 35 now and my little eggies are getting old!
He said that a couple of days of bed rest would be beneficial and might give the tear a chance to heal. I could also bleed for the next day or the next 5 months! As long as I get a healthy baby out of it I DON"T CARE how long I bleed for!
So I have a good book and a fantastic husband (who is VERY unimpressed that we can't DTD for 2 weeks after I stop bleeding- so he is hoping the bleeding stops real soon!) He is going to look after the kids and the house all weekend while I put my feet up (way up to get the pressure off my cervix) and send lots of positive vibes to my little blobby!
Have to go back in 10 days for another scan and see how everything is going, but hopefully the bleeding will stop and I can go back to a normal stress free pregnancy (if there is such a thing!)
Now I am going to go to bed and pass out. Being so worked up and worried for 2 days really does wear you out!
Kirsten i am so so so happy for you, that is the best news to come on here and see first thing. Have a lovely rest this weekend and nope no such thing as a stress free pregnancy after what weve all been through.
Yay Kirsten! I am SO SO SO SO SO happy to hear your good news. I even choked up a little for you. We all know how scary it is wen the bleeding starts and I am absolutely thrilled for you that your baby is a sticky one!!
Feeling a bit better these days. i read magnetic jewelery could help with nausea and I was willing to try anything and made two bracelets and a pendant out of magnetic hematite beads. Since I have been wearing them i have actually been feeling better. It could be complete coincidence but I won't take them off now just in case LOL I still get a bit nauseous if I'm too hungry but have been feeling better than i have in months! I hope it lasts!
I want to reply to all of your posts but I have so much housework to do I should really run, I just wanted to make sure everyone was well and that our bad news was turning good again. Talk to you all soon!
Dory: I'm dreading the 17th April to be honest with you, that is our EDD for our first baby, sadly it's my neices 4th bday as well, so i will be sad for our baby but happy for my neice
I'm not always up beat trust me on that, yesterday was an absolute shocker day, sorry to put a downer now on the thread....
My SIL i love dearly is 10 weeks pg, my Boss is 15 pg, another woman i use to be friends with is the same as me.... Now why am i not happy for these woman? Probably because all of them have never had a problem TTC, i feel so selfish and horrible that my first thought was to break down in tears, which i did.. I should feel happy that they have not had to go through what we all have, but i still felt sad..
I feel much better now of course, but am i allowed to feel frustrated, even just a little? I wish them all the luck and am happy for them now, but still feel like some woman have no problems and don't understand what a blessing and miracle it truly is to fall pg...
Ladies again, i wish everyone happiness i know sometimes we get down and pity ourselves, but we have each other and our familes to keep us level headed!!
I think we are entitled to get down sometimes. After what we have been through I think it is natural for us to grieve and mourn our loss, even if it did happen months or even years ago.
And as for other people being pregnant. I had my first mc 2 weeks after my sister was pregnant with her first. On Christmas Day she had the ultrasound pictures of her 12 week scan and was proudly showing them around. I couldn't look at her. I was so upset as it had only been 6 weeks since we had lost our own baby. After a couple of months I started to get over it and was really excited for her, but I was always reminded of what we had lost.
It is natural for us to feel a bit bitter towards those who seem to have it "easier" - easier to fall pregnant; easier more relaxed first trimester; easier pregnancy. But I would never wish for what I have been through on my worst enemy.
So grieve, cry, shout, scream if you have to. If it helps you to get through another day - do it!
HLP - oh sweetie. This journey is so tough, sometimes even when we think we've got a handle on it, something happens, and we realise we don't.
You don't have to feel happy for other people and their pg. It's ok not to be and don't beat yourself up if you don't feel happy and you have thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable. Given all you've been through, it's a normal reaction. Maybe in time it's something that will come to you, or maybe not. For some reason I don't tend to have those thoughts very often, I just get so scared for people, that they will lose their bubs, and feel the agony that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I did feel a little jealous of my nephew when he and his partner fell pregnant, but I was soon able to realise they were entitled to be happy and in fact I wanted them to be happy. Personally I was really glad to have been able to get to that point of view so quickly.
Wow - two big events on one day on 17 April. Here's a tip - do something special with your niece before her birthday and then have 17 April all to yourself. You might need it. But then if you do decide to spend some time with her on her birthday you do it on your terms because you feel up to it not because you feel obliged. On these big days, I find it best not to put too many demands on yourself. Good to have a back up plan if you are feeling robust, but if you're not? Well then you can crawl into your coccoon and just be with your memories and your feelings.
Kirsten - oh wow, that is pretty insensitive of your sister. I understand her excitement, totally, but it was just a but mis timed for you. I guess she really just didn't understand your pain and heartbreak and that her pregnancy would be a reminder of all you had lost. In a way, it would be nice to have her niaivety huh? ( how do you spell that word? I have had 4 attempts and its still wrong).
I am new to this forum and have been reading some of the posts which have helped me alot. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant (3rd pregnancy). I mc twin girls last January (at 23 weeks) and found out last week that I am carrying twins again (non-identical this time). I have had a fair bit of spotting and have been placed on bed rest for the next couple of weeks. I can't help but feel petrified with every small ache and pain I get. I find that I am getting alot of period like and back pain this time around, however I have been told that this is simply my body stretching and making room for the bubz to grow.
I have an appointment with my dr next week and hope that all goes well. I can't help but feel scared that this pregnancy will be a repeat of my last one.
Are the emotions I am feeling at the moment normal???
Mummy of 5 - oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your pain, and your fear. But they are totally normal!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Hopefully coming here helps with some of your anxieties. It's good news that your twins are non identical - from a pregnancy point of view - hopefully they are also di chorionic di amniotic - or dcda - which means they each have their own amniotic sac and placenta. I remember there are more aches and twinges with a twin pregnancy and more fatigue, and more appetite ( I ate the house out of food I reckon) and more chance of spotting. But honestly if you are really worried, it is your absolute perogative to call your Dr. Don't be shy about it. if you need to call, call.
Rest up as much as you can. Bed rest can be pretty hard, so know that someone is usually lurking in here and will respond to you. You're not alone.
Each of us has to find a way to deal with the fears and anxieties. I am not saying that right now this strategy will work for you or even whether you should try it.
Mine is, every day, I try to remember that I am blessed with a pregnancy, and that this moment, this day, there is hope that it will work out. I put my hand gently on where I think my baby is, and give my baby every ounce of love that I can muster. I still get scared. I still feel sorry for myself. I still grieve my 3 precious little ones. But right now I have a gift, and I think it would be sad to think when I look back on this time, that I didn't "enjoy" the time I have with this bub in this pregnancy, irrespective of how long I have.
Have you got some good DVD's and books or craft to keep you occupied?
If you don't mind me asking, did you name your girls? If you're up to sharing I just love knowing our precious little ones by name. For me its important, but I understand if you are not up to sharing.
Take care, and good luck with getting yourself in the right head space. Hmmm, it doesn't have to be "right" just one that works for you? There is no right or wrong in this journey.
mummyof5 welcomo this thread and congratulations on your pregnancy. Im so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful angels and i wish you a H&H pregnancy this time round. It is completely normal to have those fears that your experiencing but as dory said try and enjoy every minute and dont be afraid to call your dr even if it is only for peace of mind for yourself. Dory your words are just amazing and you truly are a beautiful & strong person, i love coming in and reading your posts and taking away lots of advice from each and every one. HPL it is ok to have those feelings towards other woman who are pregnant, we wouldnt wish it on our worst enemy to go through what we have been through but it is hard to think that some people do have it so much easier and even harder when these people dont appreciate how lucky they are that it has been so easy for them.
AFM just plodding along, still cant get the fear out of my head that im going to go to the docs for my next appt only to be told your bub has stopped growing or there is no hb. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this and i should be enjoying it but its just a little hard at times. Ive had no signs or reason to think this but just cant seem to get it out of my head. I have a docs appt on wednesday and im going to get her to do an u/s just to put my mind at ease, but wednesday cant come around quick enough. Anyway enough whingeing from me, id better go and get ready for work.
Take care
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congratulations on Hayley's birth, can't wait to here all about it.
to all those feeling a bit hormonal.
and
to all!
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