Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2011

Selfish post from me
My OB reckons i could pop anytime woo - 3cm today!!!!!
Did a stretch and sweep which hurttttttt
she reckons it will be 5 in the morning i doubt that but i hope shes right

In case i don't get back thanks for all your support i never would have got through without all of you - you are all amazing
:heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

I want my newborn snuggles come on little man
and he dosent have to go to special care they are quiet at the moment so just watch his sugars while hes with me :leap:

hey ladies...

oh yeah the cramps are killer....and my leg has hurt the few days after.....

joeve.....im so sorry..i must have missed what happened......if u need to chat im here

kellbell.....not long now hun....i hope u go into labour real soon..and i hope its a quick one and ur holding ur little boy real soon...cant wait to hear.....

Indias mum....what a scary ordeal......i will pray for ur little bubs and hope that everything is ok and its just a small bleed.....

Hey damprye. Alish. Cheshire..tegam. Mildez. Dory and everyone else

atm......im telling u im having a real bad run lately...it seems never ending..it seems to stuff left right and centre and that im always stressed these days...its so annoying and completely taking it out of me...........now the cops came round looking for the ex....she is in trouble again and they want us to take one of his kids in to speak to them..and the eldest daughter is causing problems and the mother who was looking after her said she is ringing abusing her....she is 14.........im just beside my self and so over it i will crack soon.....dad got his mask made up for radiation and mum is worried because it costs so much so she might have to sell the car.........and im a few mths of giving birth......................i wish my life would settle down a bit because this is too much for even me to take.........im sick of my life being so difficult and hard.......

Melster- It really does seem that the worry isnt going to end for u :( it will tho.. i know its hard not to let everything around u get u down. But u have to try and stay positive.. and focused on growing ur little one! Try and think about all the positives in ur life, u will find there is still a lot to be grateful for and happy about. Thinking of u xxx

Joeve- Oh im so sorry to see u go, so unfair :(

Tegam- I actually think im going to be really really shocked when they pass my baby to me! I know i have a wriggling little thing inside me, but im not quite sure that my mind understands that it is actually a baby! I know a lot about the whole labour process but i cant actually see myself going thru it all. Its like im doing all this planning and reading but its all going to be for nothing! Oh well i lie.. i havent really done much planning... apparently ur meant to stock up on nappies when u see them on special for the 6 months prior to giving birth... hmmm not me! I dont have any! Dont they just magically appear once u get home??! Im so not normal... :rolleyes:

Kell- Ive already texted u but Woohoo!!! So excited for u!!! I really hope he makes his own grand entrance on his own and u dont need to be induced on wed, FX! It definitely sounds promising! Yay yay yay! (oh i am very jealous of u tho, i knew u wld beat me!! dammit!)

Damprye- Good on u for having a night out! Do u find it hard being sober tho??! I havent done anything with friends since before i fell pg cos i cant stand being the only sober one! Really dont like drunken ppl unless im one of them! Glad u had a good nite :)

Alish- I definitely think ur dh cld have felt little kicks. I never got any of the flutters from the inside. The very first time i felt baby i had my hands on my tummy way down low and it did 2 little kicks... it was just before i was 18 weeks. If i didnt have my hands on my tummy i think i wld have missed them! It was very stressful trying to get dh to catch the right moment to put his hands there tho... he was only home for 1 night just when i started feeling them and he kept missing them! I wld yell 'its kicking!' he wld come running and it wld stop. I cried when he left the next morning cos he hadnt been able to experience it haha, silly me.

Indias mum- Oh how stressful! I had a bleed at 14 weeks and just 'knew' that my time was up. Apparently it wasnt tho! Thank goodness! Im pretty sure mine was thrush related even tho i had no other symptoms. Like someone else said u might have a low lying placenta, hopefully ur ob. can shed some light at ur appointment!

Dory- How are u going?? No sign of af yet??

Hi to everyone else too!

AFM- Still just plodding along! Been busy busy busy. Think the nesting thing is kicking in. I definitely cant just sit on the couch and do nothing! Ive almost finished my list of jobs, hopefully in a couple days everything will be done.. altho i know ill come up with more stuff.. we have a huge garden so theres always gardening to be done! Oh and when i say my list of jobs its all housework, gardening and painting jobs.. i still havent packed hospital bag or washed the little baby clothes and cloth nappies that ppl have bought me. Oh i also dont have any cot sheets or nice cuddly blankets yet either. I think i'll do those things next week.. really better make myself a shopping list! Dont think baby is in too much of a hurry to come out tho, just have a big feeling im going to go late.. im going to go for a swim tomoro if its sunny and try and help him/her to get locked and loaded before my wed. ob appointment. I wld love to go and him say 'well baby is engaged and can come at any time!'

Anyway, hope everyone is well, sending huge labour vibes to kell! Once shes had her little boy i better get myself out of my whole denial thing cos ill be the most pregnantest person in here! OMG!

xxx

Joeve~ I am so sorry hun
Reet~ I am so exited for you i cant believe how far along you are!!!!!
Melster~ i am so sorry that everything is non stop stress for you i wish i had some magical words to help.

Hi to everyone whom i have missed i am sorry

AFM~ Honor has been actually eating we had to degrece the amount of food but increase the forumla powder and also the ceral in her bottle.No more throwing up and no more crying out in pain.So on tuesday we go back and get weighed in.

kell - yay today is the day!! unless ive missed a birth announcement??? good luck yayyyyy!! xoxoxoxooxxo
i see youre online so maybe not! ahh im so excited!!

reet - omg 8 days to go!! are you getting exicted or nervous yet?
i feel sorry for brett knowing what ill be like just before the baby is due.. i wish i was more like you! you seem very laid back, not uptight like me! :D
sounds like you dont have too much left to do though, when does your dh come home? he can help with some stuff :)

yeah i wasnt sure if he could feel it or not "the book" says after 20 weeks but they also say you wont feel any movements before 18-19 weeks and i did feel before that, he sat all sat arvo & sun arvo with his hands on my belly, for a mans man like he is it was nice to see him like that, and also he said to me i cant wait til your belly is massive, he surprises me all the time, geez i love him :)

melster - just seems like you cant catch a break can you? the ex sounds like a nutter! are all the kids with you now? at least they will be safe with you and dh.. and there is a silver lining, once your baby is born there will be something beautiful for you to focus on & give you happiness xoxo

hi cheshire!

angelfish - glad honor is on the mend, you must be so relieved!

hey to evryone else xoxoxox


GO KELL!!

Joeve I am so sorry your little bubba couldn't stay. Thinking of you and praying your back here in no time and its to stay.

Reet- Wasn't bad hey. Most the time I used to go there I wouldn't drink so made no real difference :)

Tegam the issues with feeding we are having is J doesn't feed well. She latches perfectly and then proceeds to use me as a dummy. She doesn't do those long drawing sucks and not once in 20days has she actually looked hungry. She doesn't feed like she is hungry like babies should. She also vomits excessively. Because she doesn't feed well she doesn't drain the breast which = my supply dwindling so I have to express to keep the supply up. So then I give her EMB via a bottle which she takes but also proceeds to vomit. I even tried her on formula (only 30mls) hoping it would sit better but nope she did her biggest vomit ever then proceeded to have a terribly unsettled day with wind. I can handle the vomits, expressing, giving EBM after breast if she is thrieving or now atleast gaining the minimum but she lost weight. Then she gained some and now I am waiting on her next weigh in a few hours to see if we are heading in the right direction. The Dr said the vomiting is fine. My first was the same but atleast she gained alot of weight. My 2nd was a massive girl. But J seems to be struggling. We will see what today brings.

Mildez~ Honor was having the same issue with throwing up right after eating or not wanting to eat you might want to check into reflux that is what she has and tommorow i find out if she has gained anyweight

WBM - Tell me about it... :shakehead: I'm so over that hospital. They're supposed to be coming out to do the hearing test but I haven't heard from them yet. Apparently my son's needs are as unimportant as mine were during my stay there. GRRRRRR. It isn't weird at all for you to be thinking about your angel baby. I still think about mine, and s/he would be 3y.o in October this year. Everything you're feeling is totally normal, and I understand how important it is to have DH with you and not one of your pg friends for your scan. Good luck!

Kellie - I'm still in a bit of shock myself, I think. And if Axel does need surgery on his foot, I'll take him to Brisbane. NO WAY will I let them touch him at GCH. They tormented me enough, they're not touching my baby boy. I just realised today's the day for you!!! How exciting :) Try not to worry about him going to the nursery... in my case without them Axel was in big trouble because I was in such a bad way. But I do understand not wanting to be separated. I found it hard. Good luck for your birth, I'll be thinking of you!

Pash - Welcome, I hope your stay here is a long (say 9 months??) and rewarding one. :) These girls are great.

Angelfish - I hope Honor improves soon, sounds like you've had a bit of a rough time of things as well. :hug:

T-Hopes - :rofl: OMG you poor thing. And poor DH! lol. I guess at least it doesn't hurt..... but yeah.. dang!

Tegam - Mental is an understatement. I'm beyond mental right now. *insert swear words here* lol. So great to hear the 3 month haze has risen! I haven't even made it to 1 month yet and I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. Awesome work on the weight loss, 10kg is amazing. I too have lost a LOT of weight, mostly due to stress and anxiety, and well.. everything I went through. I won't give you a number because I don't want to detract from your own excellent achievement, but it's massive, and I'm more than halfway to my goal now. yay for us in that respect!

Damprye - Scary! Good to hear it's resolved itself now though and bub is kicking away.

Mildez - Argh! So glad you and the kids are alright. What a scary experience that must have been.

Ferrals - Omg, I am so sorry you had to go through that kind of pain and suffering. Horrible! You are very strong to make it through that. I can't believe they watched you go through that and did nothing to check you had pain relief.... wow. You sure we weren't at the same hospital? I've totally lost faith in the public system after my experience. What a shambles. Oh and I have total sleep envy! 6 hours already?! OMGGGGG I would love that much of a rest. Axel is so fussy, I'm lucky to get 3 hours at a time (that's rare) and some nights he's so restless he's waking every half hour wanting his dummy put back in, or his head stroked, or to be rocked and jiggled around constantly. It's exhausting. What made you think Ella was lactose intolerant?? I'm wondering if I should also make a formula switch.

Reet - I have no idea.... it was like a cascade of mistakes! With every intervention there was a complication. And now the withholding information about Axel not having his hearing test done, well I'm ropeable. Honestly, what gives them the right to make that decision? And to not even tell DP??? I wonder what else they've kept from me. I officially requested my file from them yesterday, so I have 15 days to wait before I can open up a can of whoopass on this situation. I'm not phased that I have to spend my mummy time on writing a massive complaint. To be frank, it's a welcome break from his crying and fussing. Yep, I got the screamy baby. Just what we needed after being all traumatized. *sigh* I think your body IS telling you to slow down, just like I have repeatedly lol. Promise me you will rest!!! And omg get your bag packed, woman! From my experience, my prelabour was so intense I knew Axel was coming soon........ for a week lol. You will know though. Trust your gut instinct. Don't worry about feeling like a passenger in your own pg. I felt the same, like I was watching someone else do it all... and even now, it's all very vague and confusing. I know I have a baby, but it's all so foreign to me. I think all us first timers go through a similar experience. And all hail the most pregnantest woman in here! LOL

MsKara - Haven't heard from you for ages! Congrats on your little man. :) Great name.

Kokonut - Welcome! I'm not sure if it's too early or not.... perhaps you ovulated early?? If you've been DTD and had +OPK's then it's not unreasonable to think you might have conceived again. The fact that you had -HPT's after your mc, and now have had 3 +HPT's, has me thinking you are pg again. Afterall, a line is a line as the wise women once said to me. :) Good luck and let us know the result!

Melster - I've had cramps like that. By the end of my pg I couldn't stretch full stop. And the vomit? I had that too. Intense heartburn is the worst! I hope your Dad is feeling better being at home and you can all have some quality family time with him. I completely understand the overwhelmed feelings you're having. Sometimes it really does feel like the universe kicks you when you're down. I hope this run of horribleness is over for you VERY soon.

Joeve - :( Come back soon...

India's mum - My heart was in my throat reading that. I'm so glad bubby is ok. Your DD sounds so sweet and caring to come and try to comfort you about your dog...... such innocence. Get as much rest as you can and stay strong hun.

AFM - This probably belongs in the boo-hoo room... but I trust you ladies more, so here goes.

I'm exhausted. I'm at my limit. I have the screamiest baby there ever was. There's no satisfying him! He screams for a feed, then won't take his bottle, but continues to make hungry faces. Then he gets windy, but won't burp. I can pat him for hours and get hardly any burping but I KNOW he's windy by the way he arches his back and goes all stiff. Then there's the sleep issue. Some nights he'll wake every half hour, or even less. I don't like the person I am without sleep. I don't want to 'talk' to Axel anymore, I don't have the strength to do the whole interaction thing at all. I feel like a terrible mother. I swear even he looks as depressed as I feel.

It's not that I don't love my baby, I do. He's gorgeous and probably the cutest little thing I've ever seen. But I feel so disconnected right now. Things just keep going wrong, I'm still dealing with the stupid hospital, I have to go back every week to have a new cast put on his little leg.... it's too much! Now when he wakes up (especially early in the morning) I find myself saying awful things like 'shut up' or swearing at him..... I disgust myself. At times I feel like I don't even want to be a mother anymore because I'm failing so miserably. WTF is wrong with me.. I wanted this so badly and now I just want to run and hide.

DP is worried about me, and probably rightly so. I can hardly even look at him, I just kind of sit and stare with a glazed look on my face while I hold Axel and he screams and carries on. They say babies cry for 3hrs a day average... well mine cries for at least double, if not triple that. Why can't I work out what's wrong? He's only happy if he's being held, and even then sometimes he won't settle.

I feel sick thinking I feel this way, and will quite possibly never have another baby after everything that's happened. So this is my one and only child, and I'm not treasuring him the way I should. I don't deserve such a blessing. I know some might suggest I 'talk to someone'......... but I just don't 'do' therapy. I need practical suggestions to get me through each day. Something I can DO to take my mind off the frustration.. something I can try to settle my little man so I can get my sanity back just a little.

I feel so awful right now. My poor little boy has a really selfish, useless, crap mother.

Forshelby~ I understand that it can be hard. When Honor would cry that she was hungry only to find out that she would not eat or just cry for hours i would find myself saying shut up. Or try to find a reason to go out and get away from her and here was a baby that i tryed so hard to have i hated myself.But the crying for hours just made me feel like the worse person in the world. About not burping for you but still gas do you have a product over there called gripe water or just gas drops that helped the frist couple of weeks with honor. Your doing great you have been though allot just with the hosptial alone.

Ok Forshelby: Firstly you are doing a great job! Mothering in the hardest job you will ever do and sadly you started off in such a negative way. I really do wish you would talk to someone but if you cant then make sure you keep up on here!!

Practical suggestions:

Define day and night - somehow, i like to pick a time i shower and i mean a 1/2hr shower atleast. If DP is hom at 7pm each night then 7 and 7. if DP is at work in the morning do the best you can to fix axel before 7 and then leave him in his cot where he is safe while you shower. this halves the days so gives you the elusion that you only have to survive until 7am and night shift will be over.

Go for walks, you think you dont have the energy but walking with a screaming baby in a pram outside is so much nicer than in your arms inside.

buy or borrow a hub a bub. not any other sort of carrier it has to be a hug a bub!

make sure you eat, if you arent getting energy from sleep you need it from food

drink heaps of water

play the radio

when you want to shout 'shut up" yell i am the adult here, but if you cant and 'shut up' comes out then when things have calmed down, remind yourself of all the times in the day you said something loving not the few you didnt!

be kinder to yourself

Remember the first 6 weeks is hard, then it gets better i promise! Then 3 months I promise!




Ill respond to the other personals later!

Thanks everyone:grouphug:

sorry to to crash the thread, I was in here not so long ago and I still read.

Forshelby - you are not a bad mummy!! You are exhausted and stressed and want your little boy to be ok. From what you are describing, esp with all the screaming, back arching etc it sounds like reflux. My DD has severe reflux and is still on medication now at 18 months. I would really take him to a doc to get it checked out. I know you are fed up with the health system - but trust me - the earlier you can get on top of reflux (if it is that) the better. We went through a lot of heartache with our DD. I ended up with PND and had no confidence in my ability as a mother. The first paed we saw was hopeless and it took months to get her on the right meds (losec NOT zantac!). Because she was not sorted early on she developed pain association with me, so did not feed well at all resulting in weight loss and mastitis for me. She also was incredibly stiff in her body and did not learn how to isolate her muscles as she was constantly tense as in agony from the pain of feeding.

Im not telling you this to scare you I just really want to give you some hope and reassure you that there are meds that can help your baby. I thought that it was just my DH and I couldn't stand the screaming all the time, but it wasn't she screamed for good reason. Big hugs

Hi girls, sorry I haven't been a very good buddy lately. I'm 6 weeks today & m/s is getting worse everyday! Today I felt the worst yet but I'm not complaining :D Been getting into bed as early as possible, Moo wakes around 6am & I am soooo exhausted.

Yesterday I was the same gestation I was when my m/c started with my last pregnancy. Was very anxious & stressed all day. Kept running off to the loo to make sure nothing was happening. Feel better today but my next hurdle will be 9 weeks which is when there was no denying it was all over.

I'm having a scan next Friday when I'll be well over 7 weeks. Very worried about it, makes me feel sick when I think about it. But I try to keep in mind that I have sooo many symptoms this time, feel much differently.

Joeve - I'm so so sorry sweetheart :hug:

Forshelby. You have been through such a traumatic experience its completely understandable you feel the way you do. With DD i had her 3 weeks early by c-section, i had lost all my fluid and she was really distressed when she came out. My body wasnt ready and i had trouble with my milk coming in. DD was kicking down the crib she was hungry and the way she came out she was so distressed. I couldnt feed her and i had hundreds of mw telling me what to do and all there different opinions and rules. I had hundreds if woman seeing my boobs and touching my boobs and prodding me and telling me what to do....while dd is getting hungrier and more distressed. So i was pumping, feeding, bottle feeding, using this line thing, nipple shelds.....etc etc etc I had a nightmare of a time in hospital and a horrible time when i went home. She was exactly the same as Axel and very unsettled and then later on i also found out i had post natal. I was a first time mum at 31 and was so used to my friends and partying and having that life style it was a huge shock to me when i couldnt even go to the toilet....

A few things to maybe could help combat some of these things..... would be to speak to you're nurse. I cant think what there called here, but i had a nurse come and check DD after hospital and she gave me a questionair aboout how i felt....and when i expressed how i was feeling and i was having trouble feeding and DD sleeping etc she got me an appointment and i actually went in there to see another nurse and ended up having a day stay with them then an over night stay and then they sent me to free facility were i stayed for two weeks and they helped with sleeping, feeding, and discovered i had post natal so i got on tablets and counseling etc. I still had trouble when i got home with DD for months and months and didnt feel connected but eventually it got heaps better.

I'm not saying thats what you have, but maybe you need to talk to the nurse or maybe go to the dr's and speak to someone just to rule things out. You could also take axel to a peditrician (omg i am having one of those cant think days...is that what there called) to rule out if anything is wrong with him.

Maybe its the wrong formula and you might need to try a few even though its costly something might not be agreeing with him....When i was having trouble feeding they said to make sure that they stayed awake while feeding by waking them up ect so they have a full feed..and you can also do top up feeds 1/2 hr after they have fed. DD used to arch her back, sometimes warm water would do the trick...or having them lay on you're arm head at you're hand and bum up you're arm and pat or carry around....or over you're lap....or laying them on there back and rolling there feed and legs around and pushing them up to there tummy....that would also help... and there is stuff you can try from the chemist which can be a life safer as well. Go to the chemist and explain and they will give you the different options.

Tiredness can cause all sorts of problems, can DH take axel out for a few hours between feeds or even fed him......so you can be at home alone and get some sleep and cant hear him crying etc. Maybe a bit of rest might make a bit of difference..

Believe me forshelby you're not a bad mum at all....with everything you have been through and a new baby its totally understandable..and if you dont like talking to people...maybe read on line or get some reading about all this stuff.

Unforunately a few times i just lost it and did yell at dd...i went through some bad times and wanting to yell and scream at her etc and felt so horrible....but unfortunately you cant help it..things get a bit too much..... when you have those times put him down, go outside to the front or back yard for a few minutes and take a breather have a scream have a cry whatever..even if he is crying leave him and put him in his crib..he will be ok, or give him to DH and go for a quick walk, ring someone to chat too, make a tea, just do something to distract you're self for a minute.......

I am thinking of you and hope things settle for you soon..if you need to chat let me know..



Cheezlemonster..Its a reall good sign with having bad MS, so at least thats one thing!!!! and its hard getting past those milestones but once you do you will feel so much better and closer to having you're healthy bub..i know i hated those scans and i had a few due to bleeds etc..i would panick every time i went there even up to the 20 week scan, my heart would race and i would be a nightmare and i would panick everytime he checked for a hb......all i can say is do you're best to try and distract yourself and keep you're self busy so you're minds a bit occupied.....i tried not to read the loss stories for a little while too because i would get so upset and so scared...

:grouphug: I am so sorry so many of you first time mummys had or are having such a horrible time. I want to gather you all up and bring you here and mother the mother. If we still lived in villages thats what would happen and none of these feeling would have to be part of your journey.....:(

oh forshelby , i have no advice for you, just big hugs and to tell you youre not a bad mother! youre only human and you are learning
xoxoxoxox

cheezle - ms is a great sign! im one of the fortunate ones that didnt really have it that bad! that made me stress more! x

hey to all the other lovely ladies ! xoxox

i have an appointment with my obgyn tomorrow and hopefully he can tell me the sex of little one :) so excited

Tegam I'm having visions of us all living in our little huts like on the old movie show LOST lol. Would be so much easier no doubt having others on hand for support.

Alish how exciting you should be able to see what gender your bub is.

Forshelby I agree with the others. Sounds like reflux. Your doing an awesome job. Gee if I went through what you did I'd expect a call bell and DH to be on call 24/7.

Angelfish did Honor not put on weight to start with when she was first born? J isn't typical of reflux as she isn't unsettled. Well no more then the average baby but she doesn't feed well, at 3weeks she is not quite 200grams up from her birth weight (my last 2 were already 700grams up) she vomits all the time. She either has a massive vomit or continual little spills both regurgitated milk and fresh milk. Its so frustrating. Have they put her on medication to help?

Alish: Cant wait to hear if its a blue or pink one????

Mildez: The little huts sound lovely! i have 1/2 an arce maybe that should be my goal. A retreat for new mummies???? You have to try to stop comparing J with your others. She is slower to put on weight but not out of the norm. Have you done all the normal things like tilt her bed and slow the rate you milk comes out ie by feeding lying down??

KellBell: Where is that baby news???? Thinking of you!


Reet: NOT LONG NOW :loveshower:

Angelfish - It's good to know I'm not alone. I've been giving him 'wind drops'.. DP calls it fart juice... :rofl:

Tegam - I like the shower idea but it's just not always possible. The way he screams when he's worked up I just can't put him down and leave him as I'm scared he'll choke or something. When it is possible though I'll be doing that. The walking idea is good too, I guess if it's raining I can take him to a mall and stroll around in air conditioned/heated comfort. Eating is tough, but I discovered yesterday if he's in the sling, I can actually get food in my mouth while he semi-sleeps. The radio was by far your best idea. We played it ALL NIGHT while he slept... yes, that's right, HE SLEPT. For 4 and a half hours solid. That's a record for us, so I'm pleased. Note to self: music = good. Oh and I had a look at the hug a bub sling... wow. They look so good, I almost whipped out my credit card right away to order one. I'm holding back though because he seems to be adapting really well to my el-cheapo regular type sling. Yes, I'm a tight*****..... :redface: Thanks for all your advice, I really needed it. It's weird you mentioned the village thing because that thought has crossed my mind. It's sad new mums have to feel so isolated and disconnected from everyone. It just seems wrong, and no wonder I'm struggling.

Erybery - Thanks for crashing, :) I thought about reflux, but it just doesn't seem to fit. He almost never vomits, and burps quite well when he has his wind drops. But somehow he still manages to get all riled up and screamy. Maybe he isn't getting ALL the wind out? I don't know. But thanks for the idea, I'll definitely mention it next time I see my GP.

CheezelMonster - Hooray for ms :) Good luck for the scan and the next hurdle!

Melster - There definitely has been somewhat of a 'mourning period' for my old life. The lazy mornings, the random naps..... the ability to go to the toilet when I needed to. I don't actually have a nurse, because I told them to shove it after they called me 6 times in a row, left a message, then called DP's number repeatedly while I was in the ER about my wound gushing blood and fluid. I know they didn't know I was in the ER, but seriously... harrassing phonecalls are NOT ok. Call once, leave a message, and WAIT! I have considered the GP but today he seems to be a lot better. Typical. Make mummy have a meltdown and then decide to behave. I think daddy had a stern word to him last night. Formula is a possibility as well, though once again he seems fine this morning. I tried the top up feeds, it seems to just make him greedy ITMS. He would start wanting to be fed every half hour, have a small gulp then go back to sleep/screaming. Right now we're trying to get him into a routine of 3hourly feeds, or longer stretches if he'll sleep that long. I wish I could get DP to take Axel for a few hours between feeds, but he's at work from 8.30-late. By late I mean at least dinnertime every day. It makes things really hard. Most nights I can't even get dinner prepared because I'm here on my own and can't juggle the baby and a frying pan. You're right though, some rest really would help. Pity I just can't get any most of the time. I tried to do some reading but every time I pick up a book or turn on the laptop he starts freaking out and screaming.... makes it hard to concentrate. I like your idea of calling someone for a chat but everyone I know is at work during the day when I'm by myself and need the support most. It's not their fault, they just have their own lives. I might invent an imaginary friend to talk to.... lol. Your advice is also really helpful so thankyou, I'll do as much of that stuff as is possible, when it's possible.

Mildez - Funny you should mention the call button lol. I kept saying to the mw's in hospital when I was leaving "I'm fine, I can handle it. There's no call button at home!" Now I wish there was one. Sadly DP is killing himself working long hours and overtime to provide for us, and I feel like a b**** asking him to do more. He does so much. Even taking on a lot of babycare and housework when he gets home. Just makes me feel more useless really as I'm mostly stuck to the couch with the baby in my arms all day long. It's frustrating.

AFM - Feeling a little better today. DP insisted I go to bed as soon as we'd eaten last night, and he took care of Axel. We made a plan to stop adding his 'fart juice' to his bottles (as he wasn't finishing the entire thing, hence not getting a proper dose) and we think that's why he was so unsettled. Instead he gets a shot straight in his mouth before each feed, and so far so good. He still cries, but not as desperately and not for as long. We also tilted his bassinette mattress, and added some continuous playing of the radio all night for good measure. DP had him asleep for 4.5hours solid.

So after having 7 hours of sleep before I had to get up to tend to baby, I'm feeling slightly more sane, and less prone to meltdowns today. I've also enlisted my sister's help and on Thursday night she's taking our little man for his first sleepover. Part of me feels like a crap mother for palming him off so soon, but we're just so exhausted. I know I'll feel weird without him here and even miss the crying to a certain extent. But this is about our sanity and being able to parent effectively without yelling SHUT UP because we're so overtired. So for now I'm telling myself it's for the greater good. I hope my poor sister gets some sleep though. Mother's guilt, eh? I'm also heading out tomorrow for a day of shopping with a friend, (Axel loves to shop apparently, and is always calm if I'm in a mall) so tomorrow will be a good day! Shopping, sleepover, oh and I am going to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine, snuggle with DP and pass out for 12 hours or more lol. DP seems keen to get it on while we have the chance, also.... *chuckle*. We'll see about that!! I'm kind of scared to let him near me after the way this whole thing turned out, lol. I keep telling him his 'thing' is a weapon of mass destruction and to keep it away from me. :D

Anyway, sorry about the long rambly posts and the random meltdowns..... but thank goodness I have you girls or I would have gone crazy by now. :grouphug:

I hope it isn't reflux Forshelby, just letting you know my DD has silent reflux so not a spewer.

Forshelby - you could have been writing about me..... that is so how I felt... and sometimes still do. There are certainly moments I haven't been proud of... but like TegamM said, I am learning to manage the harder parts better more often. So it gets easier because I make a comittment to do it better. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake, just think next time I will try it. Then eventually it works.

One memorable night after 6 hours of continuous screaming saw me bawling and hitting myself in the head, whilst telling H I loved her, but at the same time trying to reason with her.... I've given you every opportunity to sleep and I don't understsand why you won't.....

I found it's easier to deal with my own feelings of frustration when I tell Hannah I love her, that she needs my love and protection and to feel safe, or sometimes I just tell her it's hard work to be a little baby.

Honestly you do get there and the sleep helps. I pretty much agree with everything that's been suggested. Even if you don't do it all at once - try it - you might be surprised and it works.

It is such a hard adjustment, I know. But you are doing a super job, and sweetie lose the guilt. You are doing a great job. Being a mummy is almost as hard as being a little vulnerable baby.

So glad that you found the sling so helpful. For months it is the one thing that kept me somewhat sane with DS lol. Sometimes all we need is a lil sleep and things don't seem so bad :)

Dory - Oh yes I've tried to reason with him..... I have actually taken to telling how hard it is to be a bubby, and that it must be so terrible.. weird you mentioned it :) Today has actually been pretty good. Our first good day. When he squeaks and squawks I pop him in the sling and continue what I was doing. Hey presto, quiet baby. well, quiet-ish. He's had a play on his activity mat (stare and swing wildly at the toys above his head) and had a big feed instead of fighting the bottle, then fighting to get it back, then screaming with wind pain...

Erybery- I find the silent reflux thing intriguing.... but surely he wouldn't be as calm as he is today if he had it?? I mean, it's not an on and off type thing, is it? Isnt' it just constant suffering???

Damprye - :)

Forshelby...i'm glad you're feeling a little better today...a bit of sleep can make the world of difference...and makes things easier to handle.....Those slings are great arent they, i also got one and it was a life saver alot of the time for me.... some used to grumble at me because she used to sleep in there and not in her cot......but in my time of insanity the sling was my break, my rest.......i used to carry her over at the shops. carry her at home to get some of the things i needed done..and yes defiantly to be able to have something to eat and a drink with both hands.......and i wouldnt worry about you're sister..i think its a great idea and wish i had of listened when the nurse told me to do that exact same thing...and even if you're sister doesnt get much sleep its ok..because its only one night to her..you have axel for life...so one really good relax and sleep could really help...i think its a great idea.........and dont worry about anyone else or what they say...you do whats best for you and you're family..and you're sanity...just do the best you can and thats enough........the mourning period goes away as you adapt to life with a baby, you work things out and work around things so they work for you.........eventually i used to let her cry for a little while to go to the toilet or have a quick shower...and eventually she got the hint that some alone time was ok......after a few months things settle and get into a routine....


KELLBELL...how you going darl...any news? still thinking of you......

Forshelby - Yep it can be on and off again. DD would have episodes where it was terrible and then she would have a good few days where I would think I was making it up in my head but then would get bad again. BUT you DS may not have it, but I wouldn't rule it out. Silent reflux means it comes up and goes back down burning their throat but doesn't spew out their mouth. Some babies ca be huge spewers but have no pain. Reflux in its simplest form is just spewing but its gastro reflux that does the damage and needs to be managed.

Got some exciting news!!! :happyforyou:

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...8/#post2775947

:confetti::confetti::bluecheer:

congratualations Kellbell....wow 3 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope everything is going great...cant wait to hear the details.

:leap: :bluecheer:YAY KellBell! :bluecheer: :leap:

kellbell~congrats

Mildez~no at frist she was putting weight on fine she would fuss. Then there were days were she would just cry and cry. Then went from eating like a champ to not wanting to eat all then the throwing up happened and i was telling my bf at frist that there was somethng wrong he told me that i was just overeacting.the dr was slow with finding out what happening. The insurance finally paid for the med and we have been feeding her formula with extra powder and also ceral. At the dr appointment she has put on some weight.

quick question.....i had low fluid with DD and had her 3 weeks early due to it but i am not sure what caused it..at one stage they were worried about my blood pressure and thought i could have had pre-ec but i didnt. Im wondering about this one...

Sorry.......I have been having clear discharge...kinda smelly but not.....i dont know if its fluid or just normal discharge.....how can you tell? im not wet wet, but it is there....felt a little bit more when i was doing something yesterday and a little today...i have had a few light period pains but nothing major...belly feels tight...but over all i feel ok.

woohooo kell!!

i hate my job so much!! ive set the date to leave and i know ill just hate it until i go! they are doin renovations & took the toilet away! really convinient for a pregnant person who needs to wee every 10 seconds! i have to walk up the rd to the office !! i hate them i hate them!

ok sook over!
hi everyone!

Forshelby-You are not a bad mother this is what happens when you have a baby it take s a while to settle them into a routine and with FF bubs it can take a few different ones until you find what suits bub best MARINA'S INFANT MIXTURE from the chemits it is a natural peppermint mixture for lower abdominal pain and colic it was on a current affair i started using it and ella burps at the drop of a hat now i love love love it and she is sleeping so much better on it.
And i dont know if ella is lactose intolerant or not but the formulas that have more casin in them seem to be harder on her belly and they build up in the gut and cause gas and colic NAN HA gold is 100% whey protein which is gentle on the belly and was good but ella was hungry on it and still a little windy so lactose free was the next step which is thicker and fills her more but without the lactose to build gas so now we have decided to put her on novalac colic as she is still moaning and groaning in her sleep and very restless she is asleep and only wakes once during the night and then at 6-7 in the morning but keeps me awake with her uncomfortable noises.
try a different formula go for one gentler on the belly and give it a few days to see how it goes and the Marina's infant mixture give before every bottle and the wind should come up easier and it can be given up to 8 times a day.
It has taken us 2 weeks of trying new formulas and different things to work out what is working and what isnt Ella loves a hot wheat pack wrapped in a blanket we put her on her belly on the lounge it will settle her if she is having pain before.
And bubs can feel your tension i know its hard try to keep calm and just remember crying doesnt hurt them so you dont kneed to hold him all the time sometimes bubs need to grumble and have a little cry they learn to self sooth that way.
Of course dont let him get worked up and to upset.

Honestly hun take a deep breath it will get better you just need to do what you can and try to sleep when he does.
And us experienced 4 time mum's have unsettled babies to.

Congratz kellbell a little boy how sweet.

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quick question.....i had low fluid with DD and had her 3 weeks early due to it but i am not sure what caused it..at one stage they were worried about my blood pressure and thought i could have had pre-ec but i didnt. Im wondering about this one...

Sorry.......I have been having clear discharge...kinda smelly but not.....i dont know if its fluid or just normal discharge.....how can you tell? im not wet wet, but it is there....felt a little bit more when i was doing something yesterday and a little today...i have had a few light period pains but nothing major...belly feels tight...but over all i feel ok.

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Mel I have had low fluid for 3 out of my 4 kids. Some places freak about and some have been ok. If DD was ok the it was probably just that you are a 'normal' low person! The discharge sounds normal but if your worried you should call your MW


Alish: No toilet, i hate them too just for you!

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And us experienced 4 time mum's have unsettled babies to.

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And feel tired and have days where we feel like we are doing a crap job!

Dont know how you moved house too Ferrals5 you are amazing!

Hey everyone!!

KellBell! Congratulations on beautiful baby boy Jayden!!!

Reet - Look at your ticker chick!!! WOW! How you doing?

Alish - EIK to no toilet!! What the heck are they thinking!!!

Forshelby - I just want you to know that Im thinking of you, i dont have the answers for the questions you have right now but we are all here to support you in every way we can! I am sure that your feelings, fears and emotions are all completely normal! Im so happy to read that today was a good day, dont forget about today when a bad day sneaks up on you! xx

Joeve - oh sweetheart, im sorry your little one had to leave so soon, your in my prayers and my heart breaks for you :cry:

Tegam / Ferrals / Dory- were all so lucky to have you in here! Your knowledge is so reassuring! xx

AFM - Well we saw my ob yesterday and my fundal measurement is now measuring 35-36 wks! :o Ob said that I defiantly wont be going past 38 wks due to my kidneys. He said he has consulted with my Urologist and they both agree that they dont want to take any risks so I will be induced... or depending on the babys size at tomorrows scan, he may possibly schedule a c-section but he said we will discuss it more at our next appt in 2 wks! This means I have no more than 6wks left! Holy moly! I got so emotional! Poor DH, i sobbed all the way home! Reality just kicked in and I had my first 'Oh my god im gunna be a mummy and what if i suck at it' moment! I guess i just feel like i have so much to organise and all of a sudden - i have a deadline! DH was wonderful and we came home, wrote some checklists of what i want/ need to get done... its really not that much so today i feel a lot more calm and in control and we get to meet our lttle one sooner than expected so that exciting!!!

I was also sobbing cause i didnt know how to swaddle! lol! Gosh i was a trainwreck! Damn those hormones! DH's aunty who is a midwife dropped by today and she showed me how to swaddle! So thats todays achievement!! I can swaddle! :D

T-Hopes- I dont even know how to hold a newborn! haha. I tried holding a friends a couple weeks ago and absolutely freaked out and had to hand him to dh to hold. Ppl say it will be different when its my own but im not so sure! They have always scared me a little! I love when they can start holding there own head up..they dont seem so fragile! Learning to swaddle hasnt even crossed my mind! haha. Maybe i need to make a list of things i need to learn before this baby arrives! I bet it wld be a long list! :)
U have a date! Yay! How very exciting!! I hope u can just be induced and dont need a c-section but at the end of the day if ur little one is here happy and healthy thats all that matters!

Im going really well thanks for asking! Heaps of energy, feeling way too good to be having a baby in a week! Thinking im definitely going to go over.. dammit! But hey anything cld happen i guess!

Dh has just called, ill be back soon! xxx

Forshelby- Im so sorry to hear u have been having such a rough time :( Im not even going to try and offer u any advice because i dont have any to offer! I think ill be asking the same questions in a few weeks time so i hope u remember some of the helpful tips from these lovely ladies so u can pass them onto me when im going insane!
Im glad ur feeling a bit better today, its amazing what a good rest can do. I dont think im going to cope well at all when im sleep deprived.
Thinking about u.. and make sure u enjoy ur day and night tomoro nite! (oh and go on.. give ur dp some ;) haha)

Melster- From what i have heard the fluid is a yellowy colour so if its just clear its probably just normal cervical mucus. Ask ur dr at ur next check up tho. I have had quite a bit of cm this pregnancy..but its been more whitish in colour, one thing im looking forward to when im not pg anymore.. no more panty liners everyday!!

Alish- No toilet without a big walk..NO WAY!! How annoying! I guess u cld use it to ur advantage tho and take extra long walking to the toilet every time u need to go, which will be every half hour.. u will spend ur day having toilet breaks! :) So how many weeks left of work do u have?? Hopefully it goes super quick for u!!

Tegam- I have a hug a bub but was trying to get my hands on a close carrier instead just cos it looks so much easier to work out! Did it take u long to suss the whole hug a bub thing out?? It looks a little difficult! I love the idea of them tho, the baby snuggles in to u just like a little mammal wld snuggle into its mummy.. so adorable!

Ferrals- All settled in now?? Ur super woman for managing to move with a newborn! Did ur boys help out a lot?? Hows dh going with looking for work?? It must be so nice and helpful having him home all the time with u :)

Mildez- I really hope ur feeding issues get sorted soon. Im starting to get a little worried about the problems i might have... i didnt realise so many problems cld arise from trying to feed a baby. I think im in for a rude awakening!

Cheezlemonster- Im so glad that this pg is feeling a lot different.. definitely a good sign!

Hi Damprye and angelfish! Im sure i have missed other ppl, im so sorry if i have.. a big hello to everyone tho! :)

AFM- Had ob. appointment today, baby is still not engaged completely. I kinda knew that tho since i havent had any pressure down there whatsoever. Like i said to t-hopes before im feeling way too good still! Im just waiting for the whole 'im so over being pregnant!' stage to kick in! I think if i wasnt so excited about meeting this little baby i cld stay pregnant forever! I just dont know how ive gotten away with no typical pregnancy symptoms the whole time, from start to finish ive felt great.
Baby is still measuring a little small, today it was just under 38 weeks, and the bizarre thing is i lost half a kg in the last week. Ob said baby is definitely not suffering tho, its just sucking what it needs from me.. im hoping its taking my thighs! :lol:

My lovely mummy dear took me shopping yesterday arvo, now i have got everything i need! Im so glad she suggested it cos i dont think i wld have gotten around to going otherwise! Bought knickers, pyjamas, comfy pants, nursing pads, mat. pads.. and a few other bits and pieces for my hospital bag. Also bought a few baby things, like cot sheets, blankets, wipes, nappies...
I suddenly got so excited when we were buying it all!
So now im almost ready to have this baby! Just gotta wash the little clothes and blankets ppl have already given us for him/her, set the room up properly and ofcourse pack my hospital bag! Yay! Cant rush these things tho.. dont want to be sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for things to kick off.. wld much rather be busy and waiting at the same time :)

Anyway hope everyone is well!

Nite nite xxx