Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ November 2010

[luna moth]

dory - don't you question anything about yourself, madam, ever. You're a wonderful strong mum and all your babies ar very lucky to have you. Remove that toxic person from your life - what a horrid thing, to even think that way, let alone say it to you.

Honeybee - same thing happened to me with movements; I got them between 15 and 17 weeks, and they were daily, and then from 18-20 there kinda wasn't a lot, and I was a little afraid, yet strangely calm going into the morph scan, convinced something would be wrong. Baby, of course, was fine, and now I assume it was because the placenta had sort of moved and it altered the way I could perceive the movements. About 21 weeks they were back good and strong. And now, baby is trying to bust out the front. Not gonna happen, kiddo!

forshelbs - I usually have 10am appointments, haven't made this one yet, kind of hoping I won't have to, that Bambino will come on out. That'll be my 10th day over, so there's a grand chance that could be the big day!

I think I'm the most pregnant person on BB right now Awesome.

[forshelby]

Audax - Hehehe congrats on being the most pregnant person here! That's so cute. It would be sooooo great if I got to see you on your big day! I'll be keeping a close eye on you, girlie. Who's your PIG?

AFM - Right now I need icecream. NOW!

[Melster]

Dory..i think it sounded beautiful...and i dont know you that well...but i knew exactly what you meant!!!

Audax....how you feeling????

Forshelby...you sound like myDD..she loves icecream...

ATM...well i have had a couple more spots of blood today, still feel sick but havent thrown up today. Im tired and my back is aching...been quiet hungry as well and had a packet of chips and chocolate bar...i havent eaten as much as with DD though and havent put on as much weight...im quiet emotional....and im just trying to avoid the bad thoughts...scans friday but i am by no means looking forward to it..keep picturing him saying..."im sorry"....I should let hubby in but he didnt come to the last scan and im really annoyed at him plus other things...hes not one to really show his emotion either and im ready to bite his head of so its probably better i just be alone for now....I want to say that i love you ladies..others dont seem as friendly or maybe its because i dont know them as well...

[T-hopes]

Audax - Happy 40wks!!!!!!!!!!!! Oooh im so excited for you!!! Yee haa!

Girls - check out my ticker!! 12 wks!!!!!!! yeeeeeh!! Im soooo excited!! Having scan on Monday morning! Have been listening to bubbys heartbeat every night with the doppler, so reassuring!

[dory]

Wow - I am truly humbled.... thankyou so very much Forshelby, Tegam and Melster. I am crying again, but tears of love and gratitude and warmth, that I have found such amazing people to be part of my life.

Oh Forshelby, LOL, about icecream. I LOVE icecream. For a little while after HB was born I didn't eat any but thankgod I am back to loving it. It is the elixir of the gods. Just vanilla will do.... what flavour did you have? Icecream does soothe the throat from all the yelling at the small people

I forgot to add a bit about my mum.... why oh why does she says these things when I am only half listening and distracted? Serve me right be not listening properly. Today she told me that there is no way I could have another child as the risk is too high I will die ( due to pre ecamplsia and HELLP) and leave Hannah and possibly the new baby without a mother.... another one of those WTF moments. Talk about catastrophising. I know she means well, but oh dear, that is just such a tactless thing to say. I know my mum is different to yours, but gee mine has some clangers... and I do like to share them, as they just defy comprehension. Oh not sure if I told you about the one the other day? She rang all excited... here's how it went - "Oh you're not still drinking soy milk are you? Reply yes. Oh, well there is a class action going on against bon soy for causing miscarriages because of too much iodine. It's on the telly now - switch it on!" Reply - No". Damn, every time she says that it infers ( at least to me) that somehow my drinking soy milk caused the deaths of my children. Must tell her that one day....

Don't minimise your "feelings"... because they are important to you and make you who you are. Just because you think someone else is having a rough trot doesn't mean that you're not. It's not a competition. It does say that you're a beautiful person to think of others. So remember it's ok to put yourself and your feelings first and work through them. I will listen.

hmm guess what it says is that we have no control over anyone else except ourselves but it can be such a hard road.

T Hopes - Congrats girl - 12 weeks is a great milestone. Next will be your next milestone - so glad you have a scan close by to give you reassurance. Onwards and upwards! Not long til your scan!

Audax - I too love the fact you are the most UTD mumma on BB!

Melster - keep strong... omg ... I would love to eat some chips now... both crisps and hot chips. Do you find hot chips help with nausea? They do for me. FX crossed for no pukkies tomorrow too and especially on Friday! Thinking of you for Friday.

I will try not to take over the thread tomorrow, but I do sincerely appreciate your support. Exactly what I needed... but if ever I need it, friends will also tell me I am being a turkey and need to get a grip. Deal?

[Reet]

Hi Girls!

Once again i have been very very slack!!!

Dory- Honestly i wld not worry about ur 'friend' at all! I instantly thought JEALOUSY when u wrote what she said. Shes obviously jealous that ur such a strong strong lady. Either that or shes got no brain to be able to figure out what u meant! Sorry to be harsh.. i dont like seeing anyone upset u tho! Oh and i have had those dreams before! I have had them quite a few times ever since i was about 10. I used to think i was actually awake but have realised now that i am definitely sleeping. Sometimes i wld hear my mum talking to me and i wldnt be able to respond and i wld be paralysed.. but after i woke up i'd ask her and she hadnt come near me! Its really really weird. Whenever i am sleeping i can feel when its about to happen and i try my hardest to wake myself up out of it cos its so scary. It usually happens when i am having day time naps, it must be a kinda light sleeping thing.

T-Hopes- WOOHOO!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Listening to the babys hb is really reassuring hey.. im so glad i got my doppler when i did or i wld have gone insane! I reckon i wlda needed a billion more ob appointments! It definitely got me thru the couple of weeks after i had my little bleed. Ive been holding off using mine more then like twice a week tho cos i have heard that the soundwaves can affect babys hearing in the future. Have u heard this??? Ive done a bit of googling cos i wld love to use mine more but theres a lot of info for and against them so it makes it hard! I dont think they have been around long enough to do enough studies. Hmmm not sure... have u spoken to ur ob about them? If he says they are fine i might start using mine more! (in secret cos my dh wants me to learn to relax on my own!) Once again congratulations!!!

Melster- I think ur m/s sounds very very promising. Ignore the fact u havent put on any weight.. i only just put on my first kg since falling pg! The ob. said its completely normal not to put any on until later. Especially since u have been vomiting. So annoying that ur still spotting... i really wish it wld go away for u! U dont need that extra stress! Just remember u have a hb and that is a fantastic start!!!! Best of luck for ur next scan

Stoked- Will u get ur bt results tomoro?? FX everything is perfect!!

Forshelby- Im so glad ur dp can get the day off to go with u to ur u/s. Annoying that u gotta go tho!! Im missing something.. why are they sending u for this one??? Or are u not entirely sure?! Is it ur babys clubfeet or something else? Or has it got to do with ur placenta positioning??? From the sounds of it tho i think ur just as confused as me! Have u decided to stick it out at the gc hosp or have u started looking into the tweed one?? Oh and its a bit late.. but i cant believe there was no cake at the party!!! Food is the only reason i go anywhere these days!!! haha.. i hope u feasted on the rest of the nibblies!

Audax- Woohoo for u!!!!! A huge congratulations!! Have u started on the raspberry tea yet??

Angelic- Oh u poor thing/ A hb of 119 isnt that bad tho, one of my friends had a 6 wk scan not long ago and her babies hr was 122 and nothing was said.. everything was perfect!! I am really hoping the measurements are spot on at ur next scan, i am keeping my fingers crossed for u. Best of luck x

Tegam- I hope u have started feasting on yummy things like cheesecake to try and fatten ur little bubba up! I really want to see a tummy pic still! Can u put one on ur bb profile?? Are u still feeling quite small??

Honeybee- Oh i can feel ur fear u poor thing friday will be here before we know it and i bet u will get that reassurance u desperately need. Have u thought about getting a doppler?? Like i said to T-Hopes I wlda died without mine! The movements are meant to come and go at these early stages so pls try and stay positive and have faith that ur body is going to produce a beautiful healthy little baby! (I have to tell myself this everyday) Have u thought of pg yoga?? It is great in helping to relax my mind and feel that connection with my baby. Maybe u shld look into it??

Im so sorry if i have missed anyone, im sure i have but its been so long since i posted its hard to keep up!!

AFM- Well i think i am finally feeling proper movements! Yay!!! Im not entirely positive that it is the baby im feeling.. im still in a bit of denial i think!! But the weird thing is I can occasionally feel it from the outside too.. i thought that was meant to come later??! I never got the flutters either, im just getting little pushes. I really cant wait til i can feel what body part etc it is and its more frequent. I keep prodding my tummy to try and make it kick back but it never does when i want it too!
I have properly popped too!!! Its so exciting!!! There is no way i can suck this pot belly in now. My belly button also doesnt have any creases in it anymore.. it will be an outtie in no time at all! I love noticing new little thing about my bodily changes
Anyway i think thats all my goss for now!

I hope everyone is having a good week!

xxx

[Tegam]

Im not one for get a grip....what about suck it up princess??

Audax: WOOHOO but a title i never want to hold! Can wait for your BA.

T-Hopes woohoo 12 weeks congrats!

Melster: Like Dory said as well as what you said. Yes we are all very supportive of each other!

Dory said it forshelby and again she is right, it is not a competition we can all have our vents. Sometimes in fact it helps to know others are having a rough time. There are enough of us in this group of ours that there is room for a few to fall apart everyday

AFM: i had my turn in my Bellybuddies group this morning. Not sure why i didnt post it in here, it was more suited to you girls but am now feeling better anyway, well sort of.

[dory]

Suck it up princess it is.... T - glad you got to vent and that you're feeling better, sort of hugs. What are you doing with the tiddly winks during the school hols?

Reet - thankyou sweetie. Excellent for real movements. That is just the best.

[Tegam]

Nothing nothing at all Dory! That is the beauty of holidays. i know most mothers complain about the holidays but at our house they are perfect! We dont have to rush to dress, the kids ride bikes, play on the swings, use the cubby house and this will be our first summer with a pool so what more could we need! Oh thats right we are welcoming a lovely new baby (thats all the girls have asked for off santa is the baby)! I love PJ days, sleep ins, dress ups and dancing parties. Holidays are the BEST.

How come i only get a sort of hug??

[Tegam]

forgot to say that im so glad that you stil come in here and post. I was worried that after i have bubs i will have to move to parenting after loss thread?? I dont know anyone there and then i wont see everyone else thru their pregnancies??

[forshelby]

Melster - Keep challenging those bad thoughts hun! Turn that 'I'm sorry' into 'there's your baby'.

T-Hopes - 12wks is such a great milestone...... I too was as excited as you. Enjoy your scan on Monday!

Turkey - I mean Dory - My mum is exactly the same!! Let's bond over it, here goes: I wish I had found the word 'catastrophising' earlier, because it explains her in a nutshell. You can't open a window because a huge storm might brew in 10 seconds flat, suddenly pour rain thus soaking every object in my house, yes even the ones far from the windows. LOL. And I should get rid of my furbabies because they'll try to kill the baby. Ummm.. yeah ok. Apparently it's ok to discard members of the family because a new baby is coming. I do the same as you. Respond with a flat NO. Oh and wow about the soy milk comment.... I'd be really upset too, and it does seem like she's prodding at the loss of your previous babies in trying to make you watch a news clip on mc. I mean seriously, wtf. Thanks for your reassurance, but I do sometimes feel like a bit of a drama queen when I'm off on one of my complainy-pants rants and then someone else has something going on which just makes my thing seem... insignificant. But in a good way I promise. It helps me to realize things aren't all that bad, and that I should vent and move on quickly. I can always count on you to listen, even if I am being a complainy-pants. Feel free to take over the thread any time you want, you're still a very valued member in here.

Reet - I'm not entirely sure what this next scan is all about, except that they mentioned 'making sure nothing else is wrong'. Then the Dr went on to contradict herself saying the chances are really slim, given that my Nuchal results were all low risk etc etc. I think they just like to jerk me around, lol. All the same I'm trying to look at the positives and enjoy a day on the road with DP instead of bored out of my mind at home, NOT doing the housework I should be doing. Apparently they aren't looking at bubby's feet or the placenta. I'm so bad at making big decisions, I still haven't done anything about the hospital... I'm just sitting on my hands for the time being and wondering what I should do. I'm still devastated about the no cake situation, lol.. yes. The other nibblies were um, not so fantastic and kind of just left out in the open for hours on end, so I stayed away from it. And of course every single adult at the party was drinking and chain smoking so let's just say I was a hit with the kiddies. LOL Soooo excited you're getting proper movements, yaaay! I know what you mean about the 'pushes'. My belly moves on its own now and I can see something moving around in there which I find very entertaining. Keep prodding, bubby will respond soon hehe. The disappearing bellybutton thing is also exciting, isn't it? I used to giggle every time I poked it, now the novelty has kind of worn off haha. Enjoy all the little changes, before long they'll be BIG changes! Apparently I am waddling according to DP which I find hilarious. Keep me posted on the movements and I'm still hanging out to see the latest belly pic!

Tegam - I definitely agree. On both points. Dory is right, and it does help to know I'm not the only one having a moment. LOL and it's true, there probably are enough of us in here that one or two of us can have a moment without the thread turning into a big pile of sooking women, lol. Glad you're feeling better, feel free to have your vent in here anytime, god knows I do!

[Tegam]

i wouldnt go as to far as to say we arent all sooking women

Just as a little side, sometime i do think mothers have it a little hard. Mine is great and she still super ****es me off sometimes! But Dory yours has always sound like a cracker and forsheldy yours is the same!

[Tegam]

copied from my belly buddies post this morning! Just to prove i have my sooks too!


Well have been having a lot of ups and downs, i know its normal but not really the personality i am. Even when in the middle of a meltdown im saying to myself sux it up princess.

I think the reality of it coming soon has started to shock me. I always knew in the back of my mind that i hadnt really bonded with this poor little one. I have talked a lot to my DH about it and he agrees, he just thinks life has been too busy and with three other kids its just not practical to sit and day dream all day about it or even really set everything up. I also think a lot of it has to do with the ectopic and how quickly we fell again, the move and just being so bloody busy.

I also think its been out of my mind because as soon as i knew the EDD i thought - right get the kids to end of term 4 then worry about the baby! Well its end of term in 2days !

I also think its cause i am just so small in the belly i am finding it all very odd!

Im not worried about the birth or even how it will fit in i am totally at ease with the thought that ill bond straight away but its just a shock its so soon!

I am stressed about the next bloody scan too but dont want to wish the time away cause thats another day closer to having it!

Oh am i making any sense?

Like ill freak out about getting food shopping done - i mean totally - and then i just say, so going shopping after the baby comes. I have always been up and about the next day so its not like i have to worry about not being able to do things....

Ahhhh happy, sad, angry here we go around the merry-go-round!

Sorry about the me post

[angelfish]

I have been under my shell to much latly i have a scan in a couple of hours and i am freaking out that somethng will not be right but i could not read what dory wrote and not have something to sayi hope it comes out right.....

dory~ I dont know if the person who made that comment on your birth ancoument has ever lost a child but i understood 100% what it ment. A little story that i hate to talk about i was six months pregnate 4 years ago finally i thought that i could have my dream i was with an abusive husband he did not want the child and i did he lost his temper one night to make a long story short i lost my baby at six months i never talk about never told my dr's i feel like i have forgotten her and feel like a horrible person.But with your support and listening to you you have healed so many wounds for my i can never say thankyou enough i hope this makes sence your a great person.

i will be back after the scan to finsih my post

[~Stoked~]

Angelfish wow.. You have been dealing with this yourself for so long. You will never forget your baby. Maybe you just felt it wasn't appropriate to share the circumstances, so it was easier not to talk about it. You can now, if you wish.. share away, we are here to support you xx Wishing you all the best for your scan. I have everything crossed for you xx

Dory, You are amazing. And you are always so amazing with words too. The words you wrote were PERFECT.. Don't you doubt that for a second xx

Tegam I get what you are saying. Everything will fall into place and soon you'll wonder what all the stressing was about! Something about pregnancy makes everything else seem urgent... Like it's going to be the end of the world once you have the bub.. I remember stressing out bigtime about having everything ready, the nursery, all the little clothes... Archie is almost one and has never slept in that nursery that just HAD to be finished or else the world would come crashing down! haha! He had so many clothes that i shouldn't have bothered buying any as he was given so many gifts. Hopefully i'll be a little more relaxed about things this time.
I, too, love the school holidays! No rushing to be anywhere, no getting lunches ready, no morning madness! I never understood it when people would be longing for holidays to end so they could send their kids back to school.

Forshelby, wow.. poor you for having to deal with your mum!
With regards to your scan, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. Don't feel pressured into anything. When i was pregnant with DD i just did what i was told because i thought there was no other option, with DS i did what I felt was right. Some people reject ALL medical care and intervention, not saying that i would or you should but, hey, they are our bodies and our babies! Good luck though hun.. I wish you all the best and hope you get to have lunch in the city!

Reet, My midwife mentioned something about overusing dopplers, i can't for the life of me remember what she said though! She carries around an old style doppler (the plastic tube thingy that she puts her ear against ITMS!!) because alot of women refuse the doppler. She did mention that it works in a similar way to ultrasound. HTH!
Yay for feeling movements!! And YAY for the belly popping! It's great when you actually start to LOOK pregnant too!
Hopefully i'll have my next BHCG results by tomorrow. EEK!

T-Hopes, Yay on reaching 12 weeks! I wish i was there already! That will be a huge milestone for me i think, as it is for you! x

Audax, Yay on being the most pregnant on BB! Very exciting times ahead!

Hello everyone else!

AFM, Had an appointment with my GP, just had th BHCG test though, will be getting all my monitoring done through an OB/GYN who i see on Friday. Will feel better once i see him i think, never met him though so i hope he is nice!

Goodnight ladies!
x

[angelfish]

thank you stoked

Had my 30 us and baby is doing great everything is right on target. Except her wieght she is (3lbs) one pound over what she should be. I got told that it could be from the
diebeties that she is getting the extra suger.But my sugers have been great idk i just care that she is heathy they took allot of the 3d pics for me. I am so tired thou

[ferrals5]

Ok you girls always go balistic in here when i am at work.

I have had 4 hours sleep so i will be quick before i go back to bed.

Oh! forget it it took me 30 minutes just to read everyones posts

I will come back tonight.

[Tegam]

thank you stoked

Had my 30 us and baby is doing great everything is right on target. Except her wieght she is (3lbs) one pound over what she should be. I got told that it could be from the
diebeties that she is getting the extra suger.But my sugers have been great idk i just care that she is heathy they took allot of the 3d pics for me. I am so tired thou

i was told that baby should be 4.4pounds at 32weeks, sounds like your baby is right on angel.

Stoked: Thanks for taking the time to reply, its nice to know people understand!

have a nice day ferrals!