Hi guts, sorry I haven't been around much, but I've feeling really bad right now.

We went to the show yesterday instead of going this sunday, and while we had a good time I didn't stop to rest as much as I should and someone stole our DS's comfort toy - a fluffy black and tan stuffed puppy with a red and white santa hat. I'm so angry, because they took it right out of his lap in the Whiskers cats section of the Flowers, Gardening and Pets Pavilion. I'd stopped to look at a cat, and one second it was there, the next it was gone. I got soo stressed out and worried. Who would want to steal a mangy looking stuffed toy that stinks to high heaven (obviously why DS loves it to bits and won't sleep without it!) and has been slobbered on so much that it's no longer fluffy and the tail end of it has been chewed on and slobbered on so much that the tag has turned grey, and Stupid me forgot to label it with DS's name and address before we left!
And then when we did leave and got back to Flinders St station we found out that VLine wasn't running and we had to get a Bus all the way to Pakenham, so we wasted another hour waiting for the bus, had to wait another 45mins for the train to leave Pakenham and didn't get home until after midnight!

Anyway, we get home and I go to the toilet to find that I'm spotting a bit. It was late, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep so I went to bed and woke up this morning bleeding bright red red blood. So just waiting for DS to finish his breakfast and trying to get hold of hubby at work - no luck there yet And now I'm starting to get the odd cramp and I'm soo freaking scared and worried and blaming myself and all I want to do is just break down and curl up in bed and cry!

Worst thing is I have my first midwife appointment today, and I'm so scared I won't be able to do it now.

I also haven't felt the baby wriggling since last night either, and even though I know it's still really early days and it's so small it's making me even more worried and scared because I've felt it move first thing every morning since 10 and a half weeks!

I don't know what to do at the moment, I just can't think straight and DS is even picking up that something isn't right.

Sorry to lump this on you all, but I don't know where else I can go to say all this