Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ September 2010

[forshelby]

Sunshine - That's so great that you have a doctor who's so understanding.... Sometimes it's good to have a good cry too. Even if you feel like a bit of a goose afterwards like I do, lol.

Ferrals - Oh hun, what a scary thing to be dealing with. I have my FX that this bub is free from SLO and happy and healthy when he/she comes out. I don't know anything about it really, so excuse my ignorance... but what causes this? It's awful how we have no control over this stuff. I agree it's very difficult not to get attached to your baby, no matter what the outcome might be....... it's your baby. And you will love him/her no matter what, and no matter how long he/she gets to stay. I hope your scans go well. I too like Tegam am very proud of you, your strength is just amazing. Best of luck!

AFM - Struggling with this babysitting duty.. I know EXACTLY what I would do if these were my kids.. but it's different when you're just watching them for a couple of days.

[ferrals5]

Tegam-we decided that if they see anything in the next two u/s then we will do an amnio but if the bub looks normal we will leave well enough alone but i will speak to the geneticist on the 18th and if there is still a risk of SLO but very mild we will test the last time i spoke to him he said SLO is a very servere syndrome and 99% of babies will have toe abnormalities and 80% have extra fingers and and heart abnormalities so if bub has none there is only a small chance it will have a very mild form.

And thanks girls for being proud of me we desperately want a bub so we have to endure this to try to have one.

[Tegam]

Oh Ferrals, i feel like having such a huge cry for you! Its just not meant to be like this at all. And i know what you are holding this little one and he/she is perfect it WILL all be worth it but boy.....you could sure do with a break me thinks!

Are you going to find out what it is??

They didnt pick anything up at the 12week scan did they? I cant remember if we saw toes and fingers but the rest looked so clear... Thats good news then, isnt it??

How are the people around you coping??

[angelfish]

ferrals I have to have a good feeling that everything is going to be okay. Its truley unfair how long you have had to wait becouse they messed up. And for a dr to say let not listen to the hb so you dont get attached what?

sunshine you sound like you have a great dr. My dr offered me the same thing also he did not check anything else just listen to the hb then i got a home doppler that tracks the number of hbs and now i do it at home. Its great when a dr understands your fears. That is why i changed from one ob to another my frist one would listen to me but make me feel like i am crazy.

[timeforafamily]

Ferrals - I don't know, but I disagree with your GP. I think he/she is a bit old fashion, "Let's not hear the HB becausse you might get attached", well I'm sure that's too late for you, and for everyone else here. I think that your roller coaster needs to be ridden without dampening any of the emotions. And I totally understand if you have such strong moments of love for your little one and at the same time moments of panic/anxiety/stress when thinking about the possible outcomes, that you have no control over anyway. I hope you can step back from caring for others, or caring about work, budget and all the other responsibilities, so that you can ride this storm with your health, mental and physical intact.

[hubba_bubba07]

whoooooo hooooooooooooooo congrats to u muraycod..way to go sweetie xoxoxoxoxo

[hubba_bubba07]

I also wanted to add that Ferrals, i am so sorry that they effed up and u cant get ur answers u so deserve.Its just so unfair after all this time.I have a good feeling that everythung will be just fine for you this time.U really are deserving of holding a bundle of joy in ur arms..i will keep lurking to see how it goes..I hope the next few weeks can go quick for u sweetie....

[ferrals5]

Tegam-the 12 week scan was perfect the doc said if it had been our 1st and we didnt know about our bad gene they wouldnt do any other testing and the little bugger wouldnt sit still for them to look at the hands and feet that is what they are looking at this wednesday and i am sh#tting myself because i know exactly what to look for we had so many u/s with Abbi and i know exactly what the abnormal bits look like compared to what looks normal.
And if they can see what it is of course i want to know so we can give it a name.
The family is doing ok except my mum she is soooooooooooooo worried and wants to bash the doctor who dropped our test sample but i have so many people walking on eggshells for us waiting for some news.

Angelfish-I know i just didnt have it in me to argue i am emotionally drained so i just said whatever and went on my way.

Timeforafamily-Thanks hun my mental state is fine but the anxiety is a problem i stress over everything at the moment and i now have a cold and feel crap i hope this next scan on wed gives us some good news then maybe i can stop stressing so much.

Hubbabuba-Thanks hun not long for you now.

Murrycod-where are you?

AFM-thanks girls you are my life line.

[angelfish]

ferrals i understand about being emotional drained. But it makes me mad at how you and your family are being treated. No one should be treated in such a way. MY thoughts and prayers are constatly with you.

[Tegam]

Maybe we would all feel better Ferrals is we went a visited that dr with the dropsies!!!

So sorry for your mum! I think was can all put ourselves into her shoes, even if we cant put them in yours! When i had my first MC my mum was babysitting DD1 and when i walked in the door (looking distressed) i just told her to get out! Horrible but i just couldnt take her hurt on as well IYKWIM. Thats whats so good aboutthis forum, you can off load on us as much as you need to without worrying about us emotionally!!

We are you life line for as long as you need. Wednesday but feel like an age away...

Not sure how i feel about the Dr saying no to HB?? See both sides... Just hope the GP is doing what you need, who cares how i feel about it!

[dory]

Ferrals - oh sweetie.... every step along the way in this pregnancy, in my own experience, is just varying degrees of fear..... I don't know if it's easier to have a "cause" to focus on or just to be scared that anything and everything could be a cause. But either way, it's just a journey of fear. I have an understanding of the path you are walking right now. All I can say is... breathe and believe. My mum transferred a lot of her concerns to me.... like yours seems to be doing, but yours is being feisty!. Mine would repeatedly say "this could be your last chance... you need to make certain.... don't take risks... you're not getting younger and it's nt good to have a baby over 40.... and you can't go through a pregnancy like this again". I know she meant well, but sometimes it was hard to hear but a lot of the time I generally agreed ... in my own mind, not out loud! Can't be seen to be agreeing. Anyway missy moo is up for a feed... I think...better go.

[Tegam]

Dory is back, woohoo!!

Gee your mum sounds a bit full on Dory!!

[dory]

T - she can be at times...usually she keeps quiet and to herself, that's why I said she was transferring her own fears to me. She was just so worried she couldn't contain it. Hard road for her too I guess, watching your own child experience what I've experienced.. and really being in no position to change things. On the other hand, she rang me almost every day just to see how I was going, even though she said it was hard for her. Better than my Dad, who said, I am always here for you in one breath but then said openly, Oh I can't call you becaue I am too frightened to receive bad news.... go figure. At first it was hurtful to hear, but that is who he is. As much as I'd like to believe otherwise, my parents love me but they are people with their own strengths and weaknesses. I am not going to change my Dad at this stage of his life - he's almost 70!

BTW - I like the change to your signature....

[KitFaerie]

DORY!!! YAY! So glad to see you back hun! How is Miss Hannah going?

Ferrals: Wednesday's not too long to go, although I'm sure it feels like a lifetime some days. So far everything has been going well with bubs though, and I'm so proud of you for being so committed to your dream. You can do it xo

Sunshine: What a good dr

Forshelby: I know exactly what you mean about other people's kids, lol. At least it develops patience!

AFM: Going good so far, had a friend offer us her house as she's moving in with her partner, sooo that kinda took the 'should we/shouldn't we' questions out of it, I interpret it as the universe looking after us. But I'm a bit like that, lol! We move in 2 weeks, woohoo! Tiger's just getting more adorable, when DH puts his hands on my belly Tiger nudges it a few times and then pushes! DH and I are both really tactile so it seems Tiger might have inherited that. Next milestone for me is 28 weeks. Eep!

[Tegam]

T - she can be at times...usually she keeps quiet and to herself, that's why I said she was transferring her own fears to me. She was just so worried she couldn't contain it. Hard road for her too I guess, watching your own child experience what I've experienced.. and really being in no position to change things. On the other hand, she rang me almost every day just to see how I was going, even though she said it was hard for her. Better than my Dad, who said, I am always here for you in one breath but then said openly, Oh I can't call you becaue I am too frightened to receive bad news.... go figure. At first it was hurtful to hear, but that is who he is. As much as I'd like to believe otherwise, my parents love me but they are people with their own strengths and weaknesses. I am not going to change my Dad at this stage of his life - he's almost 70!

BTW - I like the change to your signature....

And him being that old means that he is from a totally different generation that dealt with things so differently from how we do now! Now they will probably never ever want to mention any of 'that other business' again!!!! Like its all forgotten now you have miss hannah!

Yes thanks i like my new signature too... BUT I LOVE YOURS!!!

Oh Hannah Bear how your mummy loves you! My neice is Claire Bear and all the kids call her that. Im very fond on the 'bear' part

[forshelby]

Dory - Welcome back to bb land!!

Kit - The boys even said to me before their mum went home 'this is her baby boot-camp'. I found that hilarious, but so true.... definitely exercised my patience! All in all they were good boys though, I just had to be on their back a little. So great to hear Tiger is doing well in there, and being so entertaining. You're over the halfway mark now, how exciting..

AFM - Hi to everyone else, And belly rubs of course! We leave for our trip to Melbourne in just over a week, and I'm starting to get excited. Our last trip away as just the two of us. No nappy bag.... toys, general baby paraphernalia..... it's crazy. I'm a bit concerned flying though, I have this weird fear that they'll see my belly and tell me they won't let me go! I'll be just off 18 weeks..... still in the 'safe' zone, but I'm afraid they might make a big 'thing' of it. Anything I can do to perhaps avoid a situation? I thought about hiding my belly but I'm not sure I can anymore. It's getting too round and obvious looking. Any ideas? What are my rights? I think I'm most likely worrying about nothing, as usual.... but it never hurts to be prepared and think ahead. Have a great weekend everyone!

[Tegam]

You can fly domestically until you are 36weeks and then you need a Drs note to say all is ok to fly! I have flown rather late in all my pregnancies and am flying at 31 and 32 weeks at least with this one..(the positive or negative or a pilot for a DH!! and all the family being interstate!)

There should be not troubles at all at 18weeks!!! Hosties are allown to fly in their 2nd trimester! If you want you could get you gp to write you a letter of confinment so you can prove you are only 18weeks, but surely you dont look that big??

[ferrals5]

LOL Tegam you make me laugh my DH told the geneticist at the fetal medicine unit he better put a security guard on the door when we come down for our 18th of oct appointment as my mum is coming with us and she wants blood.

Thanks girls for you support coming here and talking to you girls takes the worry off my family i just tell them all will be good and try and console them from their fears i put my fears aside until i come here and then i can let it all out knowing you all will cope with what ever happens.

Kitfaerie-I know i am soooooooooooo nervous and terrified and at the same time excited i am really hopeing this time we see a perfect baby and no sign of abnormalities.
Not long until your 28 weeks before you know it tiger will be here.