when to feel safe?

[Roryrory]

I didn't expect this, but I am still not feeling 100% about this pregnancy. I had a blighted ovum last year at 11 weeks and now I am just under 15 weeks (scans have all been good and I think I felt a little movement). I still don't feel "safe" IYKWIM? I take it this is a common reaction? I kinda feel like I won't feel safe until the baby is actually here, which I know if silly because I have no reason to expect a late loss. Still I am not "enjoying" this pg as much, which is a little sad. I just can't wait to feel the proper kicks...

[Jakabella]

Hugs hun.
I know exactly where you are coming from and TBH I never felt 100% safe at all. When DD started kicking I felt better about it all - then they have a quiet day and the worry would creep back in.

I just tried to relax (yeah right!!) and enjoy as much as I could - but when DD was in my arms I felt better... then the "other" sets of worry start!

Try and embrace your preg and try and relax..Its hard I know.

xox

[diannescruffy]

It is so normal to feel like this. I never stopped worrying until DD was born and placed in my arms. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and congrats.

Regards,
Dianne

[Inanna]

Rory what you are feeling is something many women report in pregnancy after a loss. Often once a woman has passed the time in her previous pregnancy that she lost her baby she feels better, but can continue feeling cautious and uneasy. Basically a loss reminds us that sadly things can happen in pregnancy, loss happens & this reality cannot be escaped once a baby has been lost.

I think you will feel better once you feel movements & can monitor your baby yourself that way... For all of our technological advances maternal monitoring of movements is known to be one of the best ways to guage a baby's well being.

For me & I know my story is different but I didn't truly believe that she was alive until she was born and alive. And I didn't truly believe she was coming home with me until I walked out of the hospital with her wrapped in my arms...

[ll80]

after my m/c it was until about 35 weeks that I started to think, hang on, this is all ok and going to happen. I could really start to focus on the birth and having bub arrive safe and sound.

Up until that point I found it really hard to get excited about the pg and no one really knew I was UTD until I was over 20 weeks.

[*Beema*]

I think it is completely normal to be feeling what you are feeling.

I am afraid to feel to connected to my bub now, after losing Flicker's Twin, I fear that if I am too close that if Flicker doesn't make it the pain will be unbearable, and TBH at the moment I can't see any particular milestone at which point I will feel safe. Most likely, like Inanna, the day I leave hospital with bub in my arms......
Take care hun xxoo

[{sarah}]

Oh gosh, I was hoping that once I see a scan & hit 10 weeks in my next pregnancy that I will be ok (our bub was lost at 9wk 5d). I guess though it's good to know now, in advance, that it's normal.

Rory I hope once you get some regular big movements that you'll start to feel a bit better

[Inanna]

You might feel like that Sarah - many women after early losses are fine once they reach the time in their last pregnancy that their baby died. This is very common. My situation was with later loss & there is no safe time with that really...

[Roryrory]

Thanks all I have an appointment with my midwife tomorrow morning so hopefully she'll have a doppler and I can hear a heart beat.

I must say I think I was very lucky to have had such a happy, easy time with my first two pregnancies - I really feel for women who went through losses before they actually had carried to term.

Thanks again girls.