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Thread: 2nd baby guilt

  1. #1

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    Cool 2nd baby guilt

    We have now reached 2nd trimester and feeling very excited and relieved that all is well. It was so nice to see bubs on the screen and get the photos.



    I;m just wondering though if anyone else feels a but guilty when it comes to their second bub cause to be honest, we aren't as focussed on this one as much as we were with Mackenzie cause it's not our first.

    With her we received cards for falling pregnant and pretty much lived week by week thinking and talking baby. This time we don't have time for that! I am going to buy an outfit for the new bub this week but I know it will end up wearing lots of Mackenzie's clothes cause its practical to!

    We had a nickname for Mackenzie - it was Fred cause that's what the radiographer said but this time we don't have one. Anyone had this guilt?

  2. #2

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    Jordie

    Can totally relate to how you are feeling. Because DS was 2.5 years in the making it was such overwhelming joy when we found out we were expecting and of course every experience was new and a surprise and we were carried away with the emotion of all of that.

    This time I'm an "old hand", know what to expect and when. Also it doesn't help that I work, have an active toddler to look after, buying and selling a house AND having a baby. TBH until the baby started to kick and I saw her on the screen I didn't even start to bond with her.

    Do I feel guilty? Sort of but I know that come August she will be the centre of my world so I am just making time for everything else at the moment.

    Just make sure you take a lot photos of bubs (second children always seem to miss out). LOL

  3. #3

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    I'm the opposite.

    This sounds silly but i never thought of it that way. Always the other.

    I feel guilty for my DD. How do you possibly love another child the way you love your first?? Does it take some of her love away??

    Then to make it worse, this baby and my DD actually share the same EDD! I know how bizzare is that!! So i'm worried that they'll be born on the same day, or the baby will be born the day before and i'll be in hospital missing out on her 2nd birthday

  4. #4

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    I am with you on this one TellyTubby. Was just saying something along those lines yesterday to my friend who is also pg with her second.
    But also to quote Safi 'Also it doesn't help that I work, have an active toddler to look after, buying a house, moving AND having a baby.' Its just all going on!!
    I am so looking forward to decorating DD's room and the nursery and being home with both of them in our own house. Feel very very blessed

  5. #5

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    You know I didnt' think about it until DS was born. I looked at him and thought how we had not paid ANY attention to the pregnancy and like you we didn't have a nickname for him like we did with DD's. BUT.. I look at him now and marvel at the fact that he grew into a little baby without my help at all (isn't the body amazing) and that I love him just as much as the girls, even though I didnt' spend as much time bonding during the pregnancy. I think it's a natural feeling, but it's also nature, 2nd, 3rd etc there just isnt' the same time, we have others to look after.
    So don't feel guilty, just know once bub is here it will all be different. Also it's so beautiful to see the siblings so in love with their new brother/sister. xoxo

  6. #6

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    TT - my DD's EDDs were 3 days apart and I was so worried they would share a birthday but they ended up 8 days apart - phew!

    We were also worried but managed to take pics of me while pregnant and also do our DD2's blog just as we did for DD1. DP was very focused on having the same record for both girls. I wasn't as focused on the pregnancy but it did make it go more quickly

    Once the second baby os born you do just love and adore them just the same as the first -somehow you just find that extra capacity in your heart that you never knew you had without diminishing your love for your firstborn in any way.

  7. #7

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    Nai
    Oh my god what a beautiful name!!! Juliette!! Awwww!!! Just gorgeous!!
    I hope our birthdays aren't too close either. Was juliette born before or after Genevieve?
    thanks for the comment, i'm hoping its that way - your heart grows with them.

  8. #8

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    Just realised it was after, sorry!
    That would be good, cause then you would have been able to spend her birthday with her just you and her

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