I remember writing about this on the tail end of someone elses baby shower question but I was offline for a few weeks and never got any answers if there were any.
Everything is a stress for me right now - so please understand if it seems trivial to you.
I have a friend who asked me about my baby shower plans the other day... I desperetly tried to avoid the subject.
Reasons I don't want Her to organize Baby shower:
She isnt organised enough and messed up my hens night which was a total and utter flop.
She has a sis in law also due same time and wants to SHARE baby showers:
I hardly know her , dont want to share and also shes a size 8 and I am size 18 and I dont want to be constantly compared to her on the day. I don't like skinny people right now..(sorry skinny people)
I am known as the party person, I always have themes and decor to set the mood and everyone looks fwd to my yearly festivals we celebrate.
So I like decorating and having themes and matching balloons and table ware etc, and she thinks entertainment is putting the T.V on during a party and throwing a bag of chips at you.
Her heart is in the right place but my heart isnt when it comes to her parties.
I know I am a mean friend, but u only get 1 baby shower and I missed out on engagement party, bridal shower and big wedding and I just want to enjoy this pregnancy as we have never got this far before.
what do I do ? is hosting my own party even an option ?
I asked my mum to set a date for a shower so that my friend thinks she is throwing me a surprise one in august to ward off any many questions.
I was thinking it would be nice to have a family shower as in, everyone male and female can come and not just women only.
what are my options here? whats the right thing to do... I just don't want my friend to mess up another party....
Hi Delicate Dove - Why don't you organise the whole thing (as long as you are happy to of course) and get people to RSVP to your mum (or someone similar) so people don't necessarily know that you are the one organising it? That way you can tell your friend that your mum has it all taken care of, but thanks so much you appreciate her offer. I don't think people mind if you are the one organising it, they will probably just think you shouldn't have to so having your mum as the RSVP contact will stop people harassing you with offers!
Best of luck and I hope you have the perfect big party you are after!
Oh you poor chook. I would get your mum to help you organise your baby shower. That way your friend is out of the loop iykwim. I was kind of in the same boat however my dh's Aunty and his mum are organising mine which is good because I trust them to throw a great time. They also organised my pre wedding showers and egagement party etc.
I really don't agree with SHARING these types of things as they are supposed to be for YOU and YOUR BABY. Its up to you if you invite both male and female friends and family to come. I actually wanted to do the same thing but that one has been thrown out the window as dh doesn't want to do it that way(he's a traditionalist).
I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do hun.
I am going to be organising my own party. But for different reasons to you. No one in my circle of family of friends has offered to organise it.
So i am going to be organising my own, holding it at my own house and as far as i am concerned they can RSVP to me so that everyone knows i had to do it myself.
A friend of mine organised her own and had the RSVPs sent to her MIL as she was having it at her house. She organised the games herself and she had everything planned quite well. I think if you are the type of person who throws a great party no one is going to care or think it odd that you did it yourself anyway.
i think you should just tell her that you would be more comfortable doing it yourself, but delegate some menial jobs to her so she still feels like she is 'organising' something.
Im in the same boat as u. My sister in law wants to organise mine and I dont want her too cos they always end up being crap and she wont invite some friends of mine that she doesnt like. Im just gonna tell her that Im organising it and thats pretty much it.
Do all the planning yourself and get some help if you want it or need it. You may only ever get to have one baby shower so it should be exactly as you want it to be.
Oh, and I do love the idea of a family shower. There's no reason why the men can't be involved. In fact, I think many men feel they get left out of the whole baby process so it would be a great way to get them to join in.
Last edited by satya; June 1st, 2007 at 09:54 AM.
: forgot something
thanks for all the great replies, I wished I was able to get online yesterday as She called again last night and mentioned it.
I said I was suspsicious that my mum was throwing a surprise one and she should discuss it with her. She continued to say, Well hyperthetically who would you invite, and I replied well mums knows all that stuff and she still kept asking me.
When I mentioned my husband going She jumped in Ohh but thats not right.
I have like 2 female friends thats it the rest are mums friends and my friends own circle of friends .
I say keep passing her on to your Mum. That's what I'm doing. Because I can be honest with my Mum & say who I do & don't want there etc.
Also, as for your DH, I was the same last time (happy for him not to be there this time LOL). So we organised it so that we had the 'girls only' part for only about an hour in the morning, with the games & fun stuff, then all the partners & guys came & we had a BBQ lunch together at the end. It worked really well & meant that DH also got to be involved.
I just worked out I would only know 5 females to come to a girls only shower.. (how sad is that) so I guess it better be partners too, atleast thats like 10 people..lol
you poor thing I feel your pain
When does everyone plan on having their shower? Some very good friends of mine will do all the planning but they said they want to have it a month before Im due and im a bit scared that by then I will be too big and tired to enjoy it too much. What do you girls think? Is it rude to say I want it earlier?
Take care everyone and Delicate Dove I know you will have a fantastic baby shower and make it exactly how you want it cos its your baby and really its a party for you so you should enjoy it!
xox
Oh, now I know what you mean. Mind you, I don't think just having 5 there would be a problem. But if you got any that didn't show up it wouldn't be many. I think it would be fine to include the partners!! Don't forget - it's your baby shower!
Make sure you're Mum doesn't get rail-roaded with going along with your friends plans - ie having a joint party, or having your friend invite her family along for a joint party. Your mum might have to take the hard line and say "i don't think that's what she'd want, so let's leave it as . . . ".
Maybe say your mum really wants to do it and you want to help her as you need a distraction or a little project at the moment? Something like you are bored you need it to keep busy? Or your mum is feeling a little left out of the pregnancy so you think it would be nice for her to do this for you? And I would just say out there that you dont want it to be a traditional shower you want partners etc why should it just be for women? Just some suggestions! Good Luck x
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Baby Shower Stress -Advice Needed
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