Hi, it is great to have found this forum and talk about an issue I feel I just have to bury and get on with...it is not really accepted to be as hung up on the gender of the baby as I feel right now!
I am pregnant at the moment with baby number three, I have two dear little girls. Every time I have been pregnant all I wanted was a little boy, I long to have a son. This will be my last pregnancy as I know four would be too much for me.
At times I have felt so angry that the gender of this baby is out of my control and I am so worried that should the baby be another girl I will resent her and wonder why on earth I went for a third. I know I always wanted three, and I know the saying, have a baby because you want a baby not because of gender (I said that too!) but I did not realise how overpowering the desire for a boy would be once I was pregnant.
I just don't know what to do...it is all I think about though I try to keep busy. Sometimes (and heres the really crazy bit) I wonder whether to continue the pregnancy as I feel it would not be fair on the child to have such a biased mother.
Is there anyone out there who felt sick of the thought of having the baby of the undesired gender? So many feelings, fear, disappointment in self, so envious of those who get to experience raising boys and girls.
I know I came to terms with having my girls (and did eventually fall for them) but this is my last...how do I come to terms with never having a son if this baby is not one?
I have seen a counsellor who pointed out lots of nice things about girls and helped me understand my feelings. I realise that it is simply my desire to experience being a Mum to a little boy.
This is rather long winded-thank you for listening!