In the last week or so my emotions have been really strong and I can no longer work out if it is how I am really feeling or if it is hormones!!!
I am 26 and a half weeks pg and this is my first baby. I work 10 hour days, most of the time in an office, sometimes have to do housekeeping (but belly is getting a bit big to be bending and getting into small places). Hubby and I along with his parents own and run a Tourist Park. Recently his sister (19) has jumped on board. So pretty much all day, everyday I am with the inlaws!(and hubby but I love working with him, we don't have any probs there) During the day I find myself REALLY tense and angry, although have been quite contained and have only snapped a couple of times but wasn't anything huge. At night I will sit and cry for hours on end, I just feel so down and depressed. The two things that go through my head when I feel this way is 'Baby's room wont be good enough' and 'Mother inlaw is REALLY getting on my nerves everyday... I hate being told what I can and can't do with my house, my baby, my dogs, my hubby, etc' I don't seem to be able to get myself out of this horrible cycle.
Has anyone else been through this??? Do you think its hormones or me???
My last Dr appointment my PB was up and I wasn't even stressed then, I want it all back to normal by 7/8 for my 28 week appointment.
I am sorry it is so long. Thank you
Last edited by Tiff+2; July 26th, 2007 at 11:09 AM.
being with your in laws is enough to stress anyone out.
I saw mine once or twice a week when I was pregnant and it drove me insane.
My MIL is very overpowering and acts like SHE was mother of the earth forever, this is why my DH and BIL were and are still emotional wrecks.
I think you are showing great restraint, I wouldv'e thrown something.
Maybe you and your DH need a break together and maybe work out a set of rules regarding your MIL involvement in you, your Dh and your baby's life.
When it comes down to it, YOU are the baby's mother and knows what is best.
Good luck and keep me informed.
Hello,
Sorry to hear you are feeling down, It doesn't really matter if it's you or hormones, cause either way its YOU and its happening.
End of the day blues can be triggered by being over tired, try having a sleep in the afternoon and see if your emotions and night time stress settle down a little.
Being with inlaws or anyone else 24/7 is enough to stress non pregnant people, try and find time to relax and be on your own. Sometimes it's easier to say you have a headache or migraine and need to lay down just so you can have 15 mins of time out rather than asking for space.
I remember I pretended I had diarrhea for a week just so I could spend lot's of time in the bathroom to get away from my mother in law ...lol
Thank you ladies I really do appreciate your replys. I took a good walk after work last night, cuz most of the afternoonI just wanted to cry. Thoughtit was pretty unhealthy to close up the house and cry in the dark alone another night. The walk really healp. Didn't feel 100% but didn't feel the need to cry either.
Thanks once again.
Tiff i read your post and just had to reply.
You sould like you are in a very similar situation to which i have just been in and i really understand how you feel right now. Your also due around the same time as me!
DH & i moved interstate 3months ago and up until last week we lived with MIL. It was extremley difficult for me and i found myself getting upset almost every day, so much to the point the midwife at my OB and the hospital were concerned about me being border line depressed.
'Considering your BP has already been high this is an indication things need to change.
Do you talk to you dh much about how you feel? I did in the begining with dh but being that is was his mother (like you) it is harder and it the end i think he thought i was just having a whinge. depending on the relationship your dh has with his mum but can he step in and have a chat to your MIL kindly explaining you and he are perfectly capable of making adult decisions about your baby/ life etc?
In regards to your work, is there a way you can start cutting down your hours?
This might make the worl dof difference, you need to probably work but number one is your and your baby's health.
pregnancy hormones can be cruel, you cannot control them, they come when you least expect it and at the time things may seem like the world is falling apart.
i really feel for you because i know once the tears come they are very hard to stop. But i think you and dh need to sort MIL out now otherwise once baby is here she will probably try to be even more overpowering about what you should do and how you should do it.
Tiff, hun, maybe you just need to cut back your working hours. I was over tired and over stressed for a long time, and my warning flag came when I realised I had cried every day for at least a fortnight (and probably longer) and it was time to do something about it. It seemed impossible to cut down on my hours, but when I actually had the conversation with my employer it all worked out ok. I'm now only working 4 hours a day, and I don't feel constantly emotionally overwhelmed all the time. There is nothing that you do that someone else couldn't be doing while you go home to have a nap in the afternoon!!
Your health and wellbeing is number 1, if you keep running yourself ragged you are risking antenatal depression which predisposes you towards postnatal depression - It's Just not worth it!!!!
Hey Tiff, I agree with everyone in that in laws are so damn difficult! I like to refer to them as "obligations without any rights" as in you are obligated to be friendly to them, but you don't have a right to make any personal comments cos you are not "blood" relatives. I have had a lot of ongoing issues with mine. They are all very polite (when I see them) but are so wrapped up in themselves that they really just disregard DH and me, but worst of all, bubs. Mainly MIL and SIL are worst offenders...
As for feeling grumpy and annoyed, it is probably a combo of hormones, discomfort, frustration, and fatigue. I work similar hours to you and can totally relate on feeling really tetchy when things aren't going smoothly. Normally I am very well behaved and easy going, but give me a bad nights sleep, combined with peak hour traffic, indigestion and a full bladder, and I am not so nice anymore!
I am glad the walk helped and maybe from now on just invest in some time to yourself and in getting BP to stabilise.
Thank you so much ladies! I really appreciate your advise and support. I had a big talk to hubby who is being great about all of this, we decided that now is the best time for me to cut back my hours and in about 6-8 weeks time I'll start working from home. We told the in laws, who were also pretty good about it (I didn't tell them why we came to this decision, but just said its time to look for more staff to step into my shoes). We will be interviewing over the next couple of weeks, then when I start training, I'll be able to cut my hours down.
As for MIL for now things have settled down as I did get a bit stroppy the other day when she made a decision about my home that I really didn't appreciate. Before bub is born we will definatly be setting down some ground rules (nicely).
Pish - you're doing great re the changes to give yourself a break away from the in-laws, keep that relationship on a healthy footing, and putting some boundaries in place. Expecting your first bub is a particularly sensitive time and one in which you are adjusting yourself to a massive life and role change, and unfortunately also a time when in-laws may feel they need to exert their influence more which does not help you. Believe me I have been there, and unfortunately I didn't have the assertiveness during my first pregnancy to put boundaries in place with my in-laws - a lot of boundaries were overstepped and MIL had difficulty perceiving hubby and I as our own little family with our new baby on the way. I later developed PND and at that point hubby and I decided changes must be made, and they were made, and hubby and I have never looked back. We now have our third on the way and NOTHING impedes on our precious little family life and it is wonderful. I think grandparents and extended family in general play an important role with young families but it needs to be in a supportive and helpful way which backs up rather than hinders the important job the young couple are in as parents.
You definatley need a break form your inlaws, though hormones are probbbly moslty to blame.
I've been extremely emotional lately too. My husband has been out of town for the last three weeks (comes home today) and I've been sobbing on the phone to him most nights. Anything even remotely upsetting sets me off. Had a fight with some really dumb girl at the phone company and by the time I got off the phone I was laughing and sobbing at the same time, I could barley catch my breath.
Tiff, so pleased to hear you are making some positive changes. In a few weeks you'll look back and wonder why you didn't do it sooner! Good luck, I hope you get plenty of rest and support.
I have also had the medling MIL. She has since apologised and i have buried the hatchet. She also tried to get into my house and run it. I know how you feel. Dont worry. Things are normally better if you dont aggravate them. Your doing the right thing sweetie.
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