Hi All,

I am having an amnio next Wed (day after my 39th b'day ). We already have a child with special needs (complex heart condition) who has a limited lifespan and lots of limitations and has had four open heart surgeries etc etc. Not been easy.

We finally became pregnant again - after being told we had a less than 5% chance due to DH sperm being dodgy, even though we didnt have any trouble conceiving DS.

Now we have had the NT scan and my risk is 1:100 basically due to my age. I cant have another baby with special needs and a limited life span. The combination of two would just be too hard.

We also have the added complication of 1:25 chance of having another baby with heart disease as the chances increase if you have already had one. We wont find out about that until the 19 week scan.

Also, (it just goes on doesnt it?) I had a very complicated preg with DS with irritable uterus and pre-term labour, two vessel umbilical cord, reversal of flow from bub to me and inter uterine growth retardation. DS was born at 36 weeks as he was struggling with my (daily) on-going contractions which started at 24 weeks. He was born via emerg c-section weighting 1.6 kg (3pd10oz).

I am holding it together mostly but as we get closer to the amnio its getting harder. When we had the NT scan I couldn't even touch my belly or watch the DVD after the scan as I just felt that I was shutting down all my bonding just in case. That has eased up now but I am felling a bit like it is happening again just so that I reduce my connection to this bub that I might have to terminate. Believe me this is not a decision I am taking lightly.

Can anyone help with advice on this? I guess it is just anxiety with fear about what might happen. Its not just the amnio its also the 19 week scan and then the 24 week mark when I went into first round of pre-term labour last time.

No wonder I am not sleeping very well...

Any help?