Oh sweetheart! I have no real advice for you sweetie, but I do want you to know that I understand

I have similar but different reasons to you, and I do also find it very difficult to bond with my bubs until after the dreaded morphology/anatomy scan.

The only thing that works for me is I know that no matter what happens, I want my babies to know I loved them. It helps me to bond a little bit more. I also know that no matter what happens, I will be heartbroken anyway... I would hate to also feel guilty for not bonding too.

Sending out loads and loads of healthy vibes to you and your bubba