I am having an amnio next Wed (day after my 39th b'day ). We already have a child with special needs (complex heart condition) who has a limited lifespan and lots of limitations and has had four open heart surgeries etc etc. Not been easy.
We finally became pregnant again - after being told we had a less than 5% chance due to DH sperm being dodgy, even though we didnt have any trouble conceiving DS.
Now we have had the NT scan and my risk is 1:100 basically due to my age. I cant have another baby with special needs and a limited life span. The combination of two would just be too hard.
We also have the added complication of 1:25 chance of having another baby with heart disease as the chances increase if you have already had one. We wont find out about that until the 19 week scan.
Also, (it just goes on doesnt it?) I had a very complicated preg with DS with irritable uterus and pre-term labour, two vessel umbilical cord, reversal of flow from bub to me and inter uterine growth retardation. DS was born at 36 weeks as he was struggling with my (daily) on-going contractions which started at 24 weeks. He was born via emerg c-section weighting 1.6 kg (3pd10oz).
I am holding it together mostly but as we get closer to the amnio its getting harder. When we had the NT scan I couldn't even touch my belly or watch the DVD after the scan as I just felt that I was shutting down all my bonding just in case. That has eased up now but I am felling a bit like it is happening again just so that I reduce my connection to this bub that I might have to terminate. Believe me this is not a decision I am taking lightly.
Can anyone help with advice on this? I guess it is just anxiety with fear about what might happen. Its not just the amnio its also the 19 week scan and then the 24 week mark when I went into first round of pre-term labour last time.
Rommy I don't have any advice, just wanted to offer you lots of . I think your reaction to this is perfectly normal. Fingers crossed that at the 19 week scan everything is clear. Hang in there babe!
Oh sweetheart! I have no real advice for you sweetie, but I do want you to know that I understand
I have similar but different reasons to you, and I do also find it very difficult to bond with my bubs until after the dreaded morphology/anatomy scan.
The only thing that works for me is I know that no matter what happens, I want my babies to know I loved them. It helps me to bond a little bit more. I also know that no matter what happens, I will be heartbroken anyway... I would hate to also feel guilty for not bonding too.
Sending out loads and loads of healthy vibes to you and your bubba
I can completely understand what you are saying, Rachel.
As for your concerns about the amnio. Don't be concerned. It is an uncomfortable procedure, but not especially painful. Just make sure that you relax afterwards, I lay on the couch and watched movies all day - so this is where your support network will come in useful for someone to mind your son for you. You absolutely must rest to ensure you give yourself the best chance of healing.
If you want to know anything more about amnios feel free to PM me and I can expand on the procedure further. I was frightened out of my wits....... really I was. It is all just a distant memory now, but the decision you may have to make afterwards is what causes you the most anxiety. I nearly fainted when I got the result to say everything was fine two weeks later - that's how much anxiety you build up.
You can, of course, push for a faster result (FISH) but it costs a bit and I couldn't afford it, so had to wait.
Anyway, PM me if you have any questions, or want someone to talk to. I have been in your shoes and know just how hard it is. Excruciating is really the only explanation I can come up with - but even that doesn't suffice.
Impending Amnio - bonding issues
). We already have a child with special needs (complex heart condition) who has a limited lifespan and lots of limitations and has had four open heart surgeries etc etc. Not been easy.
Reply With Quote
. I think your reaction to this is perfectly normal. Fingers crossed that at the 19 week scan everything is clear. Hang in there babe!
Bookmarks