HELP - should I find out the sex?

[jemima]

Hello all

I am having my 20 week scan in just over an hour and up until now had decided that I was definitely not finding out the sex of the baby. I have two boys and would dearly love a girl so I my thinking behind not finding out was that if it is a boy it could potentially make the rest of the pregnancy go very very slowly and I could spend the next twenty odd weeks feeling sorry for myself.

Well now that the scan date is here I am wavering - should I find out the sex or not? If it is a boy I know I will be upset so is is better not to know or do you think I need the time to adjust and get used to the fact?

HELP - this is driving me crazy. I cant think of anything else!!!

Hope this doesnt sound bad.

Thanks
Jem

[*noni*e*]

if it was me i would find out becoz dissapointment now i think would be better than dissapointment at the birth if u think u would feel that way it would probably be easier to have some time to adjust also u dnt wanna be stressing about it leading all the way up to and through ur birth.... thats just my opinion though

[jemima]

Thanks Noni - at times thats what I think then at other times I think no I wont find out because I dont want to spend the next 20 weeks feeling sorry for myself. I have thought that if i dont find out the sex and end up having a boy that once the baby is placed in my arms the boy/girl thing wouldnt be such an issue. But I just dont know anymore!!! I guess there is no easy answer!!!

[Kitty33]

Yep... .I agree with noni... you dont want to put yourself through that sort of thing just after giving birth! Lease you can make your self get over it before your precious little bubba comes along to join your family
xoxoxo

[~Debbie~]

Jen, thats a hard one.
I havent been in that situation, so its difficult.
I think i would be tempted to find out, but then i would be concerned that if i did find out, and it was a boy, then perhaps (nasty thought) just perhaps i might not take as much care of myself as i should, KWIM?
If you dont find out, and wait till the birth, then do you think that you will have abit of PND, or probs bonding with the baby, if it is a boy? Maybe you could pre-empt the situation by thinking positive thoughts now in preparation for it.
But, whatever you decide, let us know, and i am sure that, if it is a boy, there will be lots of peoples that have been thru the same thing, and can support you thru this.
Hugs

[levi'smum]

i found out with my forst so i could go shopping and tell everyone i did nt find out with my current pregnacy so i get a suprise because i want a girl so i wanted to at least have a little hope that i would have a girl and i am so happy i didint find out i cant wait to be suprised in a couple of weeks so i reacon no dont find out keep it a suprise and keep the mystrey alive i think its the best thing ever

[Lukesmum]

I also wanted a girl and found out at my 18 week scan that I was having another boy. I am sooooo glad I found out. I am now looking forward to having another boy. If I had of waited until birth I would be more disappointed because I would of been through the entire pregnancy hoping that it was a girl.

[*noni*e*]

if u think that when the baby is placed in you arms you wont be dissapointed if its a boy then maybe leave it but if u think its gonna stress you out then i would find out... its a personal decision though you need to do whatever is going to be best for u and baby if u did find out now i am sure there are threads on here that help u deal with gender dissapointment if u do find out its a little boy and that might be helpful

[TeganRheana]

I would definately find out! You dont want to spend the rest of u'r pregnancy "wondering"..the not knowing is horrible (for me anywayz)..I am in the exact boat as you, should I or shouldnt I...but I am going to find out....I want to be able to get over myself and bond with my baby before he/she is born. Good luck!

[Fire Fly]

I found out with my second only because i wanted to be prepared clothes wise with colours etc. Im glad i did because i needed to buy a few things to make the boy feel like a boy and not a girl with all the girlie things i had already. Im not finding out with this one and thats only because i have everything and id like surprise this time.

I think if Jay had been a girl then i would of found out what i was haveing now and that would be purely to be organised.

Go with your gut i reackon.

[DoulaRelle]

Jem, sweety you know I am in EXACTLY the same place as you, and have just had my scan this morning. Deep down I would really like to experience a girl, so I know that I needed to find out to deal with whatever may be this time round.

It is a boy and I am a little dissappointed ( OK a Lot) But I also know I should have dealt with most of this by the time he is born. I did not want to resent him or be disappointed at his birth iykwim.

[minimatron]

I think I would find out, so you could prepare...... did you find out and will you share with us?
Cheers
Melissa

[Meluchja]

Jem, OPEN UP THAT PIECE OF PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he he he

[Jae]

Well, I hope your scan went well. And just wondering whether you found out or not..!!! Keep us posted..

[aussienic]

I was going to say.. Better not to find out.,

Hope all went well.

[pint]

My sister has 3 boys and she found out all of them at her scans. I think it is up to you but I guess because you question it, you want to find out deep down inside.

boy or girl, be blessed you are a mother
it depends on the personality because boys can be just as difficult to raise as girls

[jemima]

Hi Fletch - after much deliberation I did find out the sex and we have been told GIRL. YAY!! I mean there would have been so many positives to having three boys but I really wanted to experience a girl and a mother/daughter relationship!! We are pretty stoked.

[Meluchja]

YEY FOR JEMIMA, YEY FOR JEMIMA
Still so happy for you Jemima. Have you thought of names yet?