Hi there. Firstly big hugs. We are always hardest on ourselves.
Drinking is risky - you already know that But the fact remains there is nothing you can do now, except prevent it happening in the future. I agree with Brontide that you need to see someone to talk through how you are feeling. It sounds like there are quite a few issues you need to talk through. Seeking help does not reflect badly on you - everyone feels out of their depth sometimes and when you are pg or even after baby is born all of these new feelings develop. Would you think badly of anyone else who needed to see a counsellor? I consider myself to be a well-educated, well-adjusted person with a reasonable support network - I had ante-natal and post-natal depression and had to see a psychologist/dr/counsellor at both times. Now is the time to get some help.
Secondly - yes drinking can be very dangerous to your unborn child but what about the dangerous driving your partner showed? I would be furious over his lack of regard for you child's wellbeing. It was very irresponsible.
Good luck with it all and big hugs.
I always say that the best way to stop a massive arguement is to just walk away, or leave the room.
But dp thinks very differently of this...he says when i walk away, that im 'running away' from the situation.
I get so upset and angry that i usually just get in my car and go for a little drive somehwere, to clear my mind. But no doubt, when i get back, i get an earbashing, as to why i run away from problems, rather than sit down and talk.
The thing is, dp and i are both so hot headed and ****ie, that we oth think were right, and the fight ends up unresolved, because none of us want to be the one to apologise.
I have to admit, we did have a lot o fights when we first moved in together a year ago. We had only been together 3 months (if that) and moving in together, caused its ripples.
But we were fine since, and its only been these last few months that the arguments have returned. Me being pg, i too get very emotional over small things, and it doesnt help that im usually quiet emotional, even before falling pregnant.
Maybe you can make a deal, that you both leave the situation when its getting to yelling point and return to a normal conversation in an hour or so. That way you can both clear your heads, and still get it sorted.
i dont quite understand in one post it sounded like you were upset and thats why you drank and then in another you mention the drinking again to punish him (not the bubs) in a way. What you both had forgotten was that there's a lil precious person dependant on you both in the middle of this.(it wouldn't hurt to read some sort of relationship book or have a go and make up some rules for arguments for now to practice for when the bub is born) You both didnt choose the right actions, its done and its time to think of a way to handle it better next time. Figure what went wrong and work on how to not repeat it again.
I completely understand that its hard to focus when you are so highly pg emotional. My DH is the same in that if i walk away, he takes it badly (doesn't raise voice or get aggressive) but he takes it as if im running away from him and the problem (which of course, i am!! I hate being confronted! I'd rather be in another room with time to run it all thru my head, before i respond) i'm unable to think clearly when im busy being all upset. Its something im working on, cutting the emotional crap and thinking, responding and working on a solution.
DH also appreciates it when im pg that i remind him often of what mood i am in. lol.. that way DH knows why i go off the deep end at him for asking me whats for dinner.. or why i cry if he says something the girls have done.. i am a emotional basketcase when im pregnant!! it just gives him peace of mind that i'm not mad/upset at him for some other reason.
Sounds like your guy is into communication, which is awesome. You just need to find a way not to come across like you aren't attacking him and vice versa i think. Plus he needs to understand that breaking things is not a means to getting a point of view across, venting or otherwise. If he does get hot headed the best thing is to tell him that your willing to talk it out if he calms down and if he can't, that you guys have a time out and put the oven timer on for 10mins. When it goes off, meet up and see if you can talk it thru a bit better. hugs!!!!
No matter what you do during pregnancy you always wonder 'what if', it's not the most ideal things for the bub 2 be but a once of thing shouldn't be an issue but def see your GP if you think something is wrong.
I didn't even know i was pregnant with Ava until after a MASSIVE Australia Day weekend, i had definately wiped myself out that weekend and upon finding out about Ava i was so stressed i had done her some harm but she is here and she is perfect (in my opinion ).
Try not to stress yourself out, take care of yourself and make sure no more binges, maybe a chat with DP about stress levels etc may be in order aswell.
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it just gives him peace of mind that i'm not mad/upset at him for some other reason.
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