Hi Puppies.
Myself and my partner had a private class (3 hours straight) and it was great but we were showen VERY graphic images and I left feeling like there must be some other way that the baby could come out.!!
But the truth is, there is no other way, and the baby is coming out no matter what.
The best way that I found to think about it was that it is one or two days out of your life that you will be in some pain and discomfort... ok I am suger coating it slightly lol.
But really, its one or two days. Then its all over. And you wont forget the pain entirely but it sure comes a distant second when you finally get your baby.
I have a 6 month old now and was worth the pain and more.
I wish you all the best and remember, on the few nights when you feel a little scared, you have all your friends here to talk about it.
I could have typed exactly what you did when i had my first class before DD1 was born, in fact i think i said similar things in my then Belly group about my feelings! I walked out of the hospital at the end petrified and wanting to find a way out of giving birth all together, c/s included..but really...once your there on D day everything is so different and its all ok. It might sound all scary and daunting but let nature take its course and dont over think it.
I skipped antenatal "care" classes for this reason!
Hun you are going to get more and more pregnant and those wriggles and kicks you feel every day are going to become pounding feet and fists. The little baby inside is going to grow and grow until you are so big with it you feel you might be more baby than woman! And when you rub your big belly and feel those strong feet and hands you're going to know how STRONG your baby is, and how STRONG you are together.
Life gets uncomfortable. Sleeping gets harder. Your hugeness dominates your thoughts and actions, the baby looms large in your mind. The connection between you is strong and you will begin to long and long to feel those limbs wriggle in your arms, to look into the fresh eyes of your baby and say hello. You're going to want this so so much, and on the day you feel your first contraction the FIRST thing you will feel is excitement - your baby is coming, your time is now.
As each wave surges through you you will feel so many sensations and emotions. Yes, there will be pain. Not a pain you have imagined or thought of, a pain you have never encountered, and remember it well because it is the pain of womanhood, it is your gift to your baby and to yourself. I know, it takes a lot to wrap our western pain-medicated minds around the concept of a gift of pain, but it is just that. Ask yourself "WHAT do i feel?" I did that and it really helped, because yes, i felt pain, but not only pain. How was your first time at sex? Was there a pain, a tightness, and then a yielding and through the pain a suggestion of the pleasure that makes every living thing that does it do it? There are moments in labour when it hurts AND it feels good, but if you sit thinking "it hurts it hurts!" you might miss them. DON'T deny pain, but do ask what else you feel.
Make sure you're well-supported. Try to have an attendant who believes in you and in birth. Even my XP was surprisingly wonderful at this (it doesn't HAVE to be a doula). At some point i was hanging in desperation at the velocity of my labour over the edge of the bath shouting "i can't do it" and he looked at me very calmly and said "you ARE doing it."
Labour teaches us to live in the moment. Labour is only ONE contraction long - the contraction you're having. None of the others passed or coming matter, just the one you're having. Live in the moment. If you divide labour into contractions and breaks you get LOTS of rest, USE it. Relax between contractions and praise yourself for your progress. When you are holding your newborn you will really appreciate what labour taught you about living in the moment because they grow SO fast and you're going to want to DRINK every moment with them.
Ever since you were born you have been doing First Things. First breath, first cry, first poop, first feed, first smile, first solids, first step, first bikeride, first day at school, first relationship, i could go on. This is your first baby. You have risen to a million challenges in your life, and some of them you won't even have THOUGHT of as challenges, and you have succeeded. Your baby is inside you and birth is something you WILL do. Not can or can't. WILL. It's not going to be easy because things worth doing rarely are. It's going to be difficult and challenging and the most wonderful, worthwhile, joyous achievement of your life. Until you have your next one
Gosh that doesnt sound like you had a good class. Was this at the hospital run classes? What hospital is it?
Our classes were ok - but i now know that the hospital run classes just didnt prepare me for birth ata ll. I got way more info through Bellybelly and reading REAL stories.
I remember being a little uncertain after the 'what interventions *might* happen' section of my antenatal classes.
My suggestions are: go back and re-read that other thread you started. Plenty of examples of straightforward childbirth there.
Second is: you mentioned in the other thread that you're a Christian, is that right? Before my first bub, I had some people from church come up to me on a Sunday morning and pray for me. It really helped my confidence, going into labour knowing that God went before me, and was with me. Things might take you by surprise but nothing takes God by surprise. Perhaps get some friends to be praying with you.
That was so unhelpful of that teacher to laugh at you! Hoobley has it in one. And by the time you feel that first contraction, you'll be ready.
I had a very similar experience last week, actually. My husband and I went to a hospital antenatal class and decided to leave half way through. The midwife running it was absolutely awful; disinterested, condescending and when I questioned her about mandatory CTG monitoring and internal examinations (she had stated that these two things had to happen when you were admitted, as though you had no choice in the matter!) she reacted aggressively, and ended her little rant with - 'well, you don't have to have either, but if something goes wrong... you wouldn't want your baby to DIE, would you? !!'! I couldn't believe that, in response to a question from a mother she was employed to EDUCATE on matters relating to birth and beyond, she attempted to guilt-trip me into silence when I questioned her assumption of protocol and procedure, using the life of my baby as leverage. That was low. Although I understand the need for intervention in the event of an emergency, why would you assume foetal distress upon admittance to hospital? Grrr!
Anyway, I think the best thing you can do is inform yourself as much as possible - read, talk to other women who have had positive birth experiences (it seems as though people are often more willing to share the horror stories rather than the lovely ones), and you might even consider independent antenatal classes that aren't hospital-affiliated. Luckily we had our Calmbirth classes and private childbirth education classes a month ago, and so I had already been feeling quite confident (and informed) before I attended the class. So, instead of being terrified, my husband and I left indignant - how dare she, etc! Personally, I feel hospital-run classes are more or less about passing on information about their policies and procedures (which can be useful information to have, so that you know where you stand). And don't let one bad experience convince you that you won't be able to birth your baby, or that you have no autonomy in relation to your birth - I don't know why people like to scaremonger, but ultimately your body is in charge of your labour, not anyone else. Just because you are made to watch a woman suffering and screaming through her labour experience as part of your 'education', it does not mean that this is the experience you will have. If you take a look at all the birth stories on the Belly Belly forum, you'll see how different (and not necessarily horrific) everyone's birth is!
One day at a time...
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I remember being a little uncertain after the 'what interventions *might* happen' section of my antenatal classes.
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