Antinatal class has terrified me, don't think I can do this now!

[Nelle]

I remember being a little uncertain after the 'what interventions *might* happen' section of my antenatal classes.

My suggestions are: go back and re-read that other thread you started. Plenty of examples of straightforward childbirth there.

Second is: you mentioned in the other thread that you're a Christian, is that right? Before my first bub, I had some people from church come up to me on a Sunday morning and pray for me. It really helped my confidence, going into labour knowing that God went before me, and was with me. Things might take you by surprise but nothing takes God by surprise. Perhaps get some friends to be praying with you.

That was so unhelpful of that teacher to laugh at you! Hoobley has it in one. And by the time you feel that first contraction, you'll be ready.

[littleberlin]

I had a very similar experience last week, actually. My husband and I went to a hospital antenatal class and decided to leave half way through. The midwife running it was absolutely awful; disinterested, condescending and when I questioned her about mandatory CTG monitoring and internal examinations (she had stated that these two things had to happen when you were admitted, as though you had no choice in the matter!) she reacted aggressively, and ended her little rant with - 'well, you don't have to have either, but if something goes wrong... you wouldn't want your baby to DIE, would you? !!'! I couldn't believe that, in response to a question from a mother she was employed to EDUCATE on matters relating to birth and beyond, she attempted to guilt-trip me into silence when I questioned her assumption of protocol and procedure, using the life of my baby as leverage. That was low. Although I understand the need for intervention in the event of an emergency, why would you assume foetal distress upon admittance to hospital? Grrr!

Anyway, I think the best thing you can do is inform yourself as much as possible - read, talk to other women who have had positive birth experiences (it seems as though people are often more willing to share the horror stories rather than the lovely ones), and you might even consider independent antenatal classes that aren't hospital-affiliated. Luckily we had our Calmbirth classes and private childbirth education classes a month ago, and so I had already been feeling quite confident (and informed) before I attended the class. So, instead of being terrified, my husband and I left indignant - how dare she, etc! Personally, I feel hospital-run classes are more or less about passing on information about their policies and procedures (which can be useful information to have, so that you know where you stand). And don't let one bad experience convince you that you won't be able to birth your baby, or that you have no autonomy in relation to your birth - I don't know why people like to scaremonger, but ultimately your body is in charge of your labour, not anyone else. Just because you are made to watch a woman suffering and screaming through her labour experience as part of your 'education', it does not mean that this is the experience you will have. If you take a look at all the birth stories on the Belly Belly forum, you'll see how different (and not necessarily horrific) everyone's birth is!

[KimmyF]

I remember feeling the same way after we had been to antenatel "education" lol but when i went in to labour i forgot about being scared and just focussed on what was happening.
I had a VB and yeah it hurts but the relief you feel when you push your baby out my god it is instant! the pain just stopped and remember it's good pain because its how u get to hold your baby.
These fears are totally normal and i'm sure you'll be fine Good luck!

[satya]

That's exactly why I didn't go to those classes.

Don't stress though. You can do it.

If the pain gets too much you can get pain relief.

If intervention is required you could be like me and be eternally grateful that someone was stepping in to help get your bub out. I did not expect to feel that way if things didn't go to plan. I can only comment on a vac extraction - it was by no means the worst part of the labour & was a huge relief once bubs was out.

For me the worst pain was when I was in labour at home. Once I got to hospital I could have gas & peth so they took the edge off. Even though I had a long labour when I look back at it now it just didn't feel that long.

As some others have said the pain does go away when bubs is out but if you do end up with stitches a completely different pain will set in. You wont feel the worst of that until you leave hossy & are moving about & are off the good pills. You can also get some pretty full on pain from your uterus contracting after the birth.

Whatever your experience turns out to be you will think every moment of it was worth it when you look your bub in the eyes.

[mhami]

I agree with Little Berlin about private antenatal classes. I've just started Calmbirth classes and I feel so much more confident than I did at the start of my pregnancy about giving birth. I'd really recommend them if you can find a nearby instructor. I won't be having hospital antenatal classes until January but I am pretty wary after hearing stories like yours. Reading some natural birth books may also help restore your confidence.

[BellyBelly]

9 Reasons Why You Should Choose Private Birth Education

Like a few people have said above, hospital classes are based on their own policy and not possibiity. Its the worst birth education in my opinion, if you read my article above you can find out why. Not saying all hospital based classes are a waste of time and money, but it's the last option I think people should opt for if they want a normal birth.

Can you get a doula? If money is an issue most student doulas are free.

[MantaRay]

You can do it hun. I have had two wonderful vaginal births. And I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I could just convince DH that another baby is a good idea LOL!). It is entirely possible to have a great vaginal birth. Being positive and believing you can do it is THE most important thing. You can, and don't let any doubt creep in. And being prepared is really important too. Get your hands on a copy of New Active Birth. Reading that made my second birth much better than my first, because I knew what to do and wasn't relying on anyone else. Read it and I'm sure you'll feel better.

I can also tell you, that having a great vaginal birth is much easier to recover from than one with an epidural, episiotomy, and although I've never had one, I'm pretty sure a c/s would be the same. So read up, think positive and go get that birth you want hun.

Best of luck.

[Snowy Love]

Is the woman who gave the class a midwife in the hospital? If she is, I'd suggest getting a doula or ensuring that DH (or whoever you're having as birth support) is very educated on your wishes and you go to private antenatal classes or Calmbirth or the like.

I have a theory that the quality of antenatal education may be related to the quality of care in the hospital - I can only say that the hospital classes I had were great - yes they went through what could go wrong, but it was presented with statistics of how rarely the complications happen, and they also went through natural pain relief and what to expect without scaremongering, and the care I received in the hospital was compassionate.

[Snacks]

Aw puppies, I'm so sorry!
TBH, I was reeeeeally freaked out about tearing/being cut when I was pg. I couldn't get the worry out of my head.
However it was the very last thing on my mind when I actually went into labour. In the end I had a minor tear, and I didn't feel it happen - I was so surprised when they told me I'd need a couple of stitches. And they didn't cause me any problems either.
I know it's a dumb thing to say, but please try not to stress about it. Like others have suggested, fill your head with positive information and stories - read lots of great and helpful books (e.g. the Thinking woman's guide to better birth, new active birth, Spiritual Midwifery) and ignore people who want to scare you. That is more about them than about you, KWIM?
Read Hoobley's post again (OMG - I have to share the love, but that brought tears to my eyes, Bx!) and probably some of those words will come back to you as you feel those first pains. You are going to be great!