thread: Is anyone else's DH driving them crazy?

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  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Feb 2006
    Perth WA
    900

    Becs and Lilmiss - you are both absolutely right. I am normally a strong and independent woman, who actually earns twice as much as DH and is the career focussed one of the two of us. However, how does one get a man to be sensitive and empathetic when he is a bit of a child himself? He can't nurture ME when he is so busy trying to get me to nurture HIM. I push back, I really do, and when my mum tells me off for doing too much he is the first to jump in and say that he tries to tell me that. But really, he is the first to huff and puff when I say I need to put my feet up (my badly swollen oedema tree-trunks) and I just feel so guilty and lazy. I am conscious though of my baby and that he (bub) comes first despite my slightly immature and self-absorbed husband.

    So anyway, I am off to bed while he continues to pack. What a bad wife I am!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Sunshine Coast, QLD
    71

    Oh man, I think in one way or another they are all the bloody same!!! My DH was so awful during the first trimester, I felt sick and tired all the time and he told me I wasnt doing enough around the house and acused me of being lazy! Seems though third trimester he has completely changed his tune, looking after me quite well and notices how tired and uncomfortable I am and how little I can do physically atm.
    I hope your DH changes his tune and starts looking after you better!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    Gold Coast
    134

    You're not a bad wife at all - you're a good mum for listening to your body and looking after that priceless bub inside you. I completely understand where you're coming from...my DH was pretty terrible through my first 2 PGs - didn't really 'get it'. Fast forward to #3 and he had grown up a lot - he was suddenly taking the other 2 kids out towards the end of my PG so I could get extra naps in, making dinner, cleaning house etc. Now with this PG - #4 - I was told from the very beginning that I am a high-risk patient and on bed rest. Now, my idea of bed rest and the docs are two different things - it's great in theory and I'd love to be able to adhere to it 100%, but with 3 other kids (especially the 16 month-old) and a LIFE, I just do little bits here and there and put my feet up where I can. However, DH has been pretty much faultless this time round - I thought he would just think I'd need a few more naps again here and there, but after hearing the specialist say 'BED REST! Take it easy!' he not only works his two jobs and studies, but he cleans the house, does all the yard work, does the school runs around work if he can, cooks meals, massages my swollen feet , does the shopping, runs errands...I do things here and there (which definitely helps his temperament - he's not the kind of person who could selflessly do all this and I do NOTHING unless I looked like I was dying ) where I can and it all just works. So don't lose hope - they CAN be more helpful and sympathetic. As I said...it might just take a gentle prod from your doc