Sweetie please don't think the worst of yourself.. I have no doubt in my mind that you are a loving/caring mother to your children (especially the one still growing inside you)
I have been paranoid about the growth of my bubby too... This is my first child/pregnancy (thats lasted more than 10 weeks anyway) and I have had high blood pressure since 14 weeks, 3 bleeds at different stages and now have Pre-Eclampsia... So I by no means have had an "easy" pregnancy.
I have requested many ultrasounds to check his growth, Have never been refused and even if they did refuse I would have pushed until I got the referal.
The amount of ease I got from seeing his size and for them telling me that he was "on target" or now... "Bigger than average" is overwhelming!
Please do PUSH for an ultrasound! It will make you feel a little better at least. But please do remember that their measurements/ weight estimates are just that... ESTIMATES
Keep your chin up.. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy
I cant understand why on earth they would refuse you anyway hun.
Like others have said, dotn focus on the weight, 10 fingers and 10 toes. You will never know if not smoking would have made an ounce of difference so there is no point bashing youself up over it
i odnt really think that when you smoke it does alot of harm to your baby, im a smoker and have been for around 7 years now, i tried to quit and i mean did everything, but i just couldnt, i was worried that my baby may be smaller or come early, but i have done every test they could give me and he is perfectly healthy and even growing bigger and bigger every day, and i have also been warned that he will be a big boy as he is measuring 6cm bigger than he is supposed.
Dont worry to much about it, i think you and your bub should be fine
There is every chance that this baby could have been smaller anyway and nothing to do with the smoking hun. It is a very real concern that you have and I think that you should go and get the scan just for peace of mind if nothing else. Be aware though that the size guesstimate can be way off, but I would ask for them to check the placental function as this is what is nurturing your baby.
And not all smokers have small babies - my mum smoked with all of us and her smallest baby was her second bub at 8lb and he was 4wks early - the rest of us ranged from 8lb 13 up to 10lb 14 (there were 5 of us), small consolation I know when you are struggling with giving up. Good luck, I'm sure your baby will be fine.
I'm not a smoker and never have been so i dont understand what your going through but atleast you care enough to try and quit and you've cut down, thats still better than nothing and more than alot of preg mums do.
I'm proud of you for cutting down and trying, don't beat yourself up over it, lots of ppl (my whole family included) smoke and they still have healthy babies. All 3 of my sisters smoked throughout both of their pregnancies and they all had healthy babies, and unlike you they didnt make the effort to cut down or quit.
Push for your u/s, what matters most is what you want, its your pregnancy, your body and your baby.
Good luck sweetie and all the best
Dont stress sweetie, Like others have said my doctor told me that the stressing about smoking will do more harm. I managed to kick the habit, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done
Don't be to hard on your self, your doing the best you can xxx
Anna, would love to catch up. Was extremely nervous about posting this incase some "real life" peopl thought terribley of me. I just want a beautiful healthy baby. I am so freaked out that he will be taken away because he cant breath. Or taken because he is too small.... I wake up every morning in tears. I have pre existing PND which doesnt help either, and off all my meds for that.
I am feeling a bit better, and trying to concentrate on having the last few weeks of this pregnancy as happy times. As more then likely its my last. Its only my last because i couldnt handle this emotion again..
Again thank you all for your gentle kind words. I am a good person really
Mummatotwo - this might be what you want to read...but...
To address smoking - it is as addictive as heroin, with none of the associated help and support and recognition of the strength of the addiction that heroin users get. In most cases smoking at the level you do, in a healthy woman without other issues, will result in nothing much. If a woman has very high BP, doesn't eat well, doesn't have access to medical care, yes, it can be a concern. But your doctor isn't worried and you have said yourself you feel bubs is healthy.
From what you've said about your fears, that on the one hand you feel in fact bubs is healthy but on the other you really fear that the smoking will mean he is small/ill...well, i don't think this is about smoking.
I think this is about you doubting yourself as a mother, and i think THAT is to do with the PND and perhaps related anxiety about that, and i think you have pinned a bunch of these fears onto "smoking" because it is the easiest thing to point your finger at and criticise yourself. If you didn't smoke depression would force you to find another "reason" to believe you're not a good mother.
IN FACT thousands of women who smoke have had healthy babies every day for the last 100 years. IN FACT your intuition tells you the wriggler is fine in there and healthy. IN FACT you need to recognise what an awesome mother you are NOW, HERE and NOW, and realise that Wriggler is coming into a loving family that Fate/God chose for him for a REASON.
Look at everything you have been through. Look at it all. From your first birth, through your PND, all the way this long journey. Acknowledge the hardship and the pain and the struggles you have faced and worked through on the road. Acknowledge how difficult all of this has been for you. And THEN acknowledge that despite everything you have been through you have a beautiful (and how! LOOK at the ticker pic!), healthy son who is LOVED and CHERISHED and thriving. Wriggler will be no different hun. In the WORST situations you have been the BEST mother you could be.
Please don't listen to the voice of PND, depression in its many forms can be so malicious in eroding confidence. You came here afraid of criticism because you so not see how incredibly much you don't deserve any. You fret and worry about the baby and cite smoking because depression makes you doubt your abilities and strengths.
But it is not the truth. The truth is that whatever the nasty voice of depression says, whatever seeds of doubt it plants in your thoughts, in your WORST days you have made a better parent than many who face NOTHING LIKE what you have been through make. The truth is that your wriggler is a lucky boy, and i'll bet he knows it.
By all means get the scan if you think it will shut those nasty doubts up, but what i'd do if i were you is pick DS up in your arms (if you still can, all full of baby ) and go look in a mirror at the strong mother you have been and are, and will be, and try telling the doubting taunts of depression to shut up. Your babies chose you for a reason. They are not stupid, they chose wisely. A good mother is not one who acts perfectly, but one who LOVES purely. And you do. You know you do.
I live in a small country town in NSW called Hay. Very remote and very quiet lol
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Hey Mumma
I know the stress you are going through, as i haven't been able to beat the cigarettes either It's a terrible habit to break unfortunatelly.
I had an ultra sound done last monday and the lady estimated my baby to be approximately 2.9kilo's already (i am not sure what that is in pounds etc) but i know my son was 3kg at birth and he was born 3 week's early by c-section. This baby will also be by c-section. I have 3 week's to go today (tuesday 5th august) as they are giving me the c-section at 38 week's.
I can understand your concern, and you do what you feel is right for you and to ease your mind, i am sure they wouldn't mind giving you another scan, it's your choice.
I cried a little reading Hoobley's post... I think she's spot on. You're a great mum, don't doubt yourself.
I have two close friends who smoke (pack per day) and they both give birth to healthy sized babies. One has two sons and both were 9 pounds. The other has had 2 just under 6 pounds and with number 3 was expecting the same size but no, he was born 9lb 3oz. I will add that friend number 2 is 4ft 9in high so she was used to having small babies and it was expected but surprise... huge baby number 3.
Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy mummatotwo.
well i ended up asking my GP for one at my 35 week appointment and he said no.
I am all stressed out again about it today, and having trouble staying up beat.
I have a midwife appointment on monday, so i will talk to them then.
You'll be fine. Please don't stress. You are nearly at 36 weeks, so even if bub was born now, s/he should be fine! There is only 4 or so weeks to go & your beautiful baby will be here.
Try to take your mind off it.
Is your bag packed?
Have you got everything in there you need?
Have you got everything for bub's you need?
Spend some extra time with your DS before bubs gets here. Take him to the park or something.
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It's a terrible habit to break unfortunatelly.
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