In less than 8 weeks comes my BIG DAY! For the past few weeks, I haven't been able to sleep well at all. The constant turning in bed makes it hard for me to sleep regardless of how many pregnancy pillows I purchased to help support my belly and back. The fact of the matter is that I can't seem to sleep comfortably on my left side (as the doctor said I should) for the whole night. I have been very self-conscious to stay on my left side, but when I do fall asleep, I wake up finding myself on my right side or even on my back. I have done a lot of research on the internet regarding safety issues for pregnant women to be sleeping on other positions rather than the left. Finally, I have come to one conclusion is that if I sleep on any other position beside the left side - it could possibly cause inadequate nutrients and blood flow to my baby. So, here I am, I've been feeling so guilty these past days because I am unable to keep myself on my left side at all times. I feel so emotional to a point I feel like bursting out in tears! I am just so scared that something wrong will or have already happen to my bub...

This awful feeling of heaviness is impeding me in doing anything without thinking about the health of my baby. Instead of talking to DH about this, I have kept it to myself because I don't want to give him any pressure as if he already doesn't have enough from work. So, instead of talking to someone about this issue, I turn myself to the computer reading up articles that are related to possible complications to a baby without adequate blood supply... of course, there are tons of these articles... one of which I came upon was cerebral palsy. Here I am, the more I am reading it, the more freaked out I get. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff with this feeling of guilt! Am I getting something like prenatal depression or is this a common thing a pregnant woman experience before she delivers... this is my first baby and was a planned pregnancy. So far, I've had BT, NT scan, and Ultrasounds done... no problems were detected, but why am I preoccupied in negativity?

Sorry for writing such a long post, but I felt like this was something I needed to do in order to vent out my feelings as I really don't want to share this yet with DH/family/friends so that they are all worried about me...