Thought I should add. the hole experience was amazing. Yes ouch! But amazing! To see what I could do as a woman a young 19yr old woman! i cry when I stub my toe yet during birth I realised the job infont of me and did it.
Think of every contraction as one less
Think of the only way to be out of pain is to give birth to that little wonder making its journey into the world.
Enjoy it as much as possible and dont think about it leading up to it. I found myself a completely different person in that labour room, with a completely different mind set so the one your in now cant even conprehend how it will turn out.
Puppies - kudos to you for articulating what many feel.
We live in a technically advanced society with huge emotional and social deficits. Never is this quite as apparent as when we discuss/experience birth.
There is so much fear and drama when birth is discussed (often). People seem to love to tell you how "bad" it was - having seen a LOT of births - rarely is the reality so dramatic.
Your body is incredible - amazing and efficient. Your body was designed to birth your baby - but as with all journey's of the soul it can be painful. Courage, support and faith is required.
Birth goes well MOST of the time. Educate yourself to the what if's of c/section but KNOW that if you are educated, if you are supported thru labour by a woman that is known to you and trusted by you (a doula, midwife) the most likely outcome is a healthy baby and an intact mother.
I believe (this may be out there for some but humour me...) that in the corner of every room where a woman births there is the essence/spirits of wise woman. Birthing is the ultimate spiritual event - a true miracle in progress. We DO NOT do it alone - but we are responsible for planning this birth meticulously. In the west we spend countless dollars on a wedding - countless hours planning every detail down to the ink on the place cards - which is all well and good. We need to do that with our births. We are responsible for setting up good support for the labour and afterwards - for having the birthing environment just how we would like it. This is a huge event in a woman (and man's life) - treat it with the sacredness it deserves! Education is important. Loving, gentle and educated women to guide you thru your journey are not "just nice extras" - they are imperitive.
Believe in your body - it is the same design as all the women who have gone before you. Believe in the journey - for birth is part of your journey as a woman.
Truly know that you really can do this. Smell your baby's hair, feel the pressure in your perineum. Yell YES!
I know it's a favourite of mine - but can I say it again... Your head gives birth before your Hoo Haa. So train your mind and love your body....
ETA: I have birthed 5 babies through my vagina and two surgically.
Nothing in all of this world compares to the bliss that is experienced when you push your child out and meet her for the first time. Nothing - it is truly the most amazing experience. I had 5 really powerful vaginal births - one quite challenging one. But each I had the support of loving, educated women to help my on my journey...
What you are feeling is absolutely normal... goes through everyone's mind during pregnancy at some stage, even the men freak out a bit .
Most of my memories from labour and birth are good... yeah it hurts, but it is so empowering and exciting knowing that the baby you have grown in your womb for so long is about to be held in your arms. You are a woman and as such have been give the gift of giving birth to your little babe.
Embrace what is ultimately your destiny, take control of a time in your life that will forever be etched into your memory.... It's all so thrilling, you are in for a heck of a ride and I am sure you will be fantastic
I would say that it's hard to get your head around how this thing is going to come out of you when you're in a normal state of mind. Birth may be natural, but it is sooo not normal. It feels surreal, almost like you're on drugs. Your body and mind are in an enhanced state. I had augmentation in labour with DD, but even then the ctx didn't feel anything like what I expected. I just had gas, no epi, no cuts, tears or grazes. You will be ok. the process will take over and you will go with it. At the end of it you'll have your beautiful baby. GL!
Puppies, you are going to be WONDERFUL!!!!
My advice to you is read lots of great stories and inform yourself as to what's going to happen in your body. Having said that, nothing will adequately prepare you for what it actually *feels* like to give birth, because it is just so awesome, and such a privilege.
You are strong, capable and powerful.
Natalie's birth was really tough, and it went for a long while. But it was the most ecstatic experience of my entire life. I'm nervous about doing it again, sure. I think it is natural to feel aprehensive before such an amazing experience. But I know I can do it, and I know there is absolutely no feeling in this world like holding that precious baby to yourself after struggling to birth her - it makes your heart burst.
Deb - I wish you were closer to be with me for my birth
Puppies - remember it is pain with a purpose. I loved my labour with my son. My first birth was a nasty induction for a stillbirth but my second child brought me an understanding of the power of the female body. Yes - I ended up with an emergency c-section BUT I laboured drug free to 7cm. And it was wonderful. I am hoping to complete the process this time.
The surges come in short waves and you can visualise them as a wave where you reach the peak and they taper off with you sliding down the other side. They start slowly and get stronger and closer together but it is manageable sensations. It is like you are being introduced to them slowly so that after each one you can go "that was ok - I can manage that" before being given the next one.
Imagine your cervix opening like a flower and your uterus contracting effectively to move your little person down and out of your soft and flexible vagina that expands to receive and deliver your child.
Your head is your most important tool in labour. Practice imagery that assists to to see a successful birthing - whatever that is for you. By being able to see it as a positive experience you decrease the stress hormones that are released when you have fear and prevent a slowing of labour.
Thank you for being brave enough to verbalise what many feel in the lead up to birth. I hope the posts from some very wise women can help you
one of the best things a friend told me when i was about to have DD was to relish just how primal the whole experience is. our bodies are just AMAZING things and the beauty that comes with knowing that our babies are helping us during the birth is something that i kept focussing on (i kept telling myself that she was helping me and that she was going through the same thing...sometimes you can *forget* you are having a baby...in the sense that when contractions get on top of each other you can lose focus... so this was a nice way to connect to bubs throughout the process).
JIC you're wondering my friend said: 'Clare, it's just so [expletive] primal, it's amazing!' i just kept remembering her words.
I know it's hard to imagine, but you will get through it. And on the other side it is just one day in your new life with your baby, a very special one of course. Before you know it, it will seem like it was in another lifetime.
With all of our technology it is still a completely primal experience as Cassius says.
Birth is a rite of passage as old as human life, and one that every mother has survived.
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