Gender Surprise

[damprye]

I know there are quite a few of us out there that have decided to wait until birth for the big gender surprise.

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome?

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?

I know that in the end, as long as I get to hold my baby in my arms, I will be so happy, but these are just a couple of the questions bugging me. I was desperate for DS to be a girl until I had him so I know first hand that it doesn't impact on how you feel towards your lil ones but trying to get the rest of my brain to understand that is the hard part lol.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hiya hun.

I decided to wait with Liebs. I really, really wanted a boy and knew if I found out girl before I had a baby I would not have been a happy mummy. But girl on the day - more focussed on "baby!" so less of a blow. So many people asked me what I was having, I found "duck billed platypus" worked quite well. Well, what were they expecting?

As for clothes... I bought mostly neutral (some gorgeous reds and oranges) but a few girl and boy outfits. They were too cute and rather inexpensive. That way Liebs got to wear cute little boy things right from the off. He was bought so much stuff anyway, so what I'd bought didn't really matter in the end. Sadly, he was too big for the gorgeous newborn things his godmother bought him. But I didn't mind dressing a girl in trousers, so for me I had more boy than girl things anyway. One outfit I decided was too girly for Liebs - but I had issues with a midwife on the ward deciding he was a girl so just going for "she" all the time without him wearing a cute brown and peach outfit.

We have picked a gorgeous girl name, but I bet DH will change his mind should we ever have another. And I've picked a way to ensure that a granddaughter gets the middle name I want, so that's fine too. (Yes, I am going to be the overbearing MiL when Liebs marries - the best way of getting a daughter, IMO: one you don't have to suffer growing up.)

[Gigi]

i chose to have a surprise, but at the 19 week mark, i was told i had to have an amniocentesis test, and when i got the results, inspite of telling the specialist of my wish not to know the gender, the gender was spelt out, on the page of results (for the amnio).

even though i knew i was carrying a girl, i kept stocking up on gender neutral baby stuff, girl or boy, my baby was going to be wearing purple. i just bought white, blue or pink baby clothes at opshops, dyed the whole lot purple. You have to have the time, to sort thru lots of crappy stuff and go on special days, so it was time consuming, but low cost.

if people give you baby clothes, let them know you would prefer the tags left on, so you can exchange easily if needed. it often happens, by the time the baby is that size, the clothing is the wrong season etc. So many things you just don't know until baby arrives (what size they will start off in).

[megs]

For my first 2 babies I chose to have the surprise. I was certain with my first he was a boy (still didn't buy clothes or anything) and he was. When pregnant for the second time I didn't have that same strong sense of what I was having, I was hoping for a little girl. But honestly when my son was born it didn't matter you just fall in love with your baby.

The last 2 pregnancies I have found out because I was concerned about possible gender dissapointment (i'm having my 4th son) but honestly I just love my kids boys or girls.

Re the buying things, I find that you get giving a lot of small outfits when they are small, and you can soon start buying the sale items.

Good luck with everything

[Asparagus and Lemons]

We left it for a surprise but dh wanted a boy and so did the rest of his family. I thought we were having a boy and yes the constant nagging was infuriating, mainly from the mil always wanting to know what to buy, what colours, she wanted to know.
We didn't struggle with not knowing what to buy as we found that people bought dd enough clothes for the first few months. And I had just bought before she was born, 3 neutral suits and that was plenty.

I can see why people would want to know the sex. But in the end, I am glad we waited. I think If we knew we were having a girl EVERYTHING would have been pink. Not something I would have liked.

[toomanyshoes]

With DS (our first) we waited.

We had a few family and friends pregnant at the same time and they all found out so I liked that we did something different, we didn't really encounter any complaining. People asked we said we were waiting and that was pretty much the end of it, other than "how can you wait, I would want to know now" kind of stuff.

I knew DS was a boy from the start and I was the only one who thought boy, everyone including DH thought girl. I don't know how I would have felt if it turned out to be a girl because I've never been in that situation, I would like to think I would have be fine with it.

I agree its much harder to find neutral clothing now, when we had DS 9 years ago there was a lot more around. Now I would probably stick to some basics and maybe a special boy and girl going home outfit for the big day, keeping some money aside for buying clothes once bub is here.

With DD we found out and if I ever have more I'm unsure what we would do.

[kelsbels]

We waited, purely because we didn't have a good enough reason to find out!

We 'thought' we were having a boy, all the wives tales said boy, I even had a random woman come up before inwas even showing to tell me I was pregnant with a boy!

I dreamt I was having a girl, however in my dreams she was the gorgeous blonde, curly haired girl which was unusual as hubby and I are both dark. Believe it or not, our little 'boy' turned out to be a beautiful, blonde, curly haired girl

Just found out yesterday that #2 is on the way and we will not be finding out the sex. Mainly because I'll be having a Caesar so want at least one surprise at the end

[Taurean]

We definitely didn't want to know the sex when PG with DD and feel the same way again. We loved having two names for each sex picked out, the wondering what sex our baby would be and the excitement, especially, while I was in labour knowing at the end of it all the surprise would be revealed. It was the ultimate in surprises, IMO, lifting the umbilical cord during my first snuggle with DD while I was still delivering the placenta, to reveal a tiny vagina I get teary and excited just thinking about it!! I can't wait to do it again!!!

Shopping would have been disastrous if I'd known the sex - we had far too much neutral cute stuff as it was! Not to mention DD was spoilt rotten by friends and family. The amount of clothes we received was crazy!

My mum was probably the only one who was really itching to know the sex because she wanted to shop My sister knew the sex of both her boys so I think mum just expected me to do the same. We honestly saved her a fortune in unnecessary shopping though too

We have our 19 week scan in less than 2 weeks and there is no temptation at all to find out the sex. We'll be making that very clear to US technician too and our OB is well aware of our wishes. We are almost half way through, another 20 weeks will fly by. It did last time.

I'm a very organised person but I don't honestly think there is that much you need to have (gender specific) before your baby arrives. My nursery was totally setup for DD but it was neutral and then once she arrived, I got some girly stuff to 'girly' it up, lol.

As for disappointment regarding the sex, my theory is I'm far too preoccupied and totally in love the day my baby arrives to be disappointed. This may not be the case for others but that's how I felt the first time round and it's how I feel now too.

Good luck with everything

[catetay]

Our first two were suprises, and i had no problem with what to buy! Still found lots of neutral stuff, maybe just not the traditional ones (hate lemon and green !) Grey, white and red are very common now and are great neutrals.
I was convinced DS was a girl, and will admit to the slightest moment of "no, you mean girl" when he was born. But it didn't last once he was "really here".
DD was an elective CS due to breech, so we were very happy to still have something a suprise! Both received so many gifts that were gender specific that it didn't matter what i had bought before and it was a bit easier knowing the right size to buy anyway.
This time we did find out; because i wanted to know which items from DS and DD i could give away, who would need to share a room, and how much new stuff i might need. Also to help prepare DD for the idea, as she doesn't like change at all!! There will be 6 years between DS and this baby, so i think it is probably good that she's a girl. Also, DH and most of both our families were firmly convinced she was another boy as he has so many boys in his family so were actually shocked to find she's a she!!!
I think it's a very personal decision, just like lots of things about PG and babies. I have found both to be right for us at the time, and can honestly say that i'm looking forward to this bub just as much as the older two
Good luck with it all

[Trillian]

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait? Nope, we didn't worry about it at all. Dh and I are a bit old fashioned like that. We just thought whatever will be, will be. But then I did find out with #4 what we were having.

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other? We kinda had a preference for a boy for our first bub (which we got!), and we weren't worried about what our second would be, and with #3 it would have been nice to have a boy (our thinking at the time of the pg), but if we did I reckon DH would have been keen to stop at 3. But when we decided to have #4 we did gender sway for a boy as #3 was a girl and we really wanted to try for a boy.

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome? I wasn't with the first 3, but yes, I would have been disappointed if #4 was another girl. His pg was the only one I ever found out the gender because I wanted that extra time to come to terms with it had he been a girl.

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having? I had dreams about all of them when I was pg and with 1, 2 and 4 I was right - it was a boy, girl and another boy. That was another reason why I wanted to know the gender at the scan because I had already had dreams about him being a him and I *needed* to know if it was right or if it was just my mind screwing with me. With #3, I dreamt about both genders.

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know? That was never a hassle for us. We always got asked if we knew, but once we said no, we were never hassled about it.

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect? Nope. We've never carried a name over from one pg to the next.

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days? I didn't have a problem. It got easier once we'd already had one of each gender because I already had boy and girl things. But with the first two I didn't worry - just brought a few things and never went overboard with being prepared.

[Lily Dust]

Hi damprye

We waited till birth to find out DDs gender but my oh my did we agonise at times about wanting to know!!! It was hard especially as I had so many scans. But at 30 weeks we were told 'it' had hair and I must admit I was so glad we didnt find out she was a girl. With the tiny snippet of detail like knowing it had hair I felt almost disappointed that I didnt get to wonder anymore did it have hair. Does that make any sense??

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?

YES!

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?

Nah, but we spent a long time TTC, it was our first born and to us it really didnt matter.

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome?

I did wonder if I would feel a different way depending on the gender. Like I wasnt sure if deep down I wanted a particular gender iykwim.

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?

I had dreams but there were never any hints!

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?

Yes! Everyone assumed we knew and were keeping it a secret. SO everything we said was picked apart. If an outfit was sterotypically neutral they read into it etc

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?

Not really applicable to us.

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?

Completely and utterly YES! A lot of the neutral stuff we bought we didnt end up using as I didnt like it on DD. Our cot set someone commented was obviously for a boy because it was pale blue, green and white.

I know that in the end, as long as I get to hold my baby in my arms, I will be so happy, but these are just a couple of the questions bugging me. I was desperate for DS to be a girl until I had him so I know first hand that it doesn't impact on how you feel towards your lil ones but trying to get the rest of my brain to understand that is the hard part lol.

I cant even imagine how troubling that must be for your brain. When we want something so much and its not how we expect it to be its horribly hard

[meow]

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?
No, not really. I was itching to know but never felt I wished I'd known sooner IYKWIM.

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?
Yes.

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome?
Yes.

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?
I dreamt of a toddler girl at the beginning of my second pregnancy. I had a boy.

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?
No. No-one expected us to have found out. Certainly no whinging.

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?
Yes. I recycled the girl's name from first pregnancy to second pregnancy and STILL didn't get to use it.

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?
No. I found enough gender neutral things.

[RhiChiChi]

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait? No, we didn't have any concerns. We decided it would be even more special to find out after bubs was born.

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other? No, I was just happy to be having a baby past the first trimester.

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome? No

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having? No dreams

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know? Once we told people we wern't finding out they never asked us again.

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect? As in twins?! No, I was happy to be carrying one bubba at that time. We still have our boys name if we are ever lucky enough to fall pg again and we have a nother girls name now.... (when you have been ttc # 2 for 3+ years you have tons of time to agree on names ;-)

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days? I bought gender neutral clothing and bedding. I knew I would get lots of clothes and other gender specific items when bubs was born.

[HotI]

I know there are quite a few of us out there that have decided to wait until birth for the big gender surprise.
Second time around, i am choosing to wait til bub is here again.

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?
There were couple of times when i wanted to find out but i am really happy we waited. The only hard times were around when i had ultrasounds, especially if DH wasn't there (cos he definitely did not want to know). I didn't like that someone else might know and we didn't, however most times they didn't even look at the genitals knowig that we didn't want to know.

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?
Yep, first time around i hoped for a girl.

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome?
Similarly to the flying butter, i was hoping for a girl but thought that when bub arrived i would be so excited and relieved at meeting them that the gender wouldn't be an issue. my DH was kinda hoping for a boy but felt no disappointment when DD arrived.

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?
i can't remember if they were dreams, but i had strong feelings that it was a boy for the first 6 months. Then this feeling went away and i wasn't sure either way.

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?
Nah, that s their problem.

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?
nup. we had 2 boys names and 2 girls name chosen and decided soon after bub was born that one name suited her better.

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?
Nup, because i go for gender neutral stuff anyway. The only 'girl' clothes that DD has have been given to her as presents or second hand. It is nice for grandparents etc to look out for more gender neutral things, cos you often end up with very specific colours once people do know the gender.

[Harriet]

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?
I found it really really difficult not knowing. We had extra ultrasounds due to there being a single umbilical artery (supposed to be 2) and we had the sonographer begging to tell us the baby's gender at 23 weeks...

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?
Definitely! Everyone said I was having a boy due to how I was carrying, and I wanted to have a girl just to prove them all wrong!

Were you ever worried that you might end up ever so slightly disappointed at the outcome?
When DD was delivered and I was told it was a girl I, in my drug fueled haze, said something along the lines of "we were supposed to have a boy"... needless to say, DD was known as baby for 5 days

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?
I would dream it was one gender, then re-check and it would be the other

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?
Ah ha! Did I ever!! I have a friend PG at the moment, and I'm hanging for her to find out so that I can go shopping... so I can see both sides of it now

With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?
DD is only 3 weeks old, so a bit soon to think about it... but I do love my boys names

Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?
First baby = girl = mountains of clothing and presents!
Kinda glad we didn't find out, cos I would have bought so much clothing myself

[luna moth]

My big question to all of you is.... Did you ever had any concerns about the long wait?
It was a long wait to have a healthy pregnancy. That was way harder than waiting to find out what bits it had.

Did you ever swing or hope for one way or the other?
No.

If you had gender dreams, what gender did you dream and what did you end up having?
I had girl dreams, well, specifically pink nappy dreams! And I had a little girl.

Did you ever get sick of the constant whinging from other people about them wanting to know?
Nobody whinged! A lot of people were thrilled with our choice not to know.
With names, did you ever want another bub just because you think both the chosen boy and girl name was just perfect?
We really struggle with boys' names. so it's nice to know we won't have to think of another one now!
Was there difficulty knowing what to buy for bub, especially if there was a sale on, especially since gender neutral items seem to be rather difficult to come by these days?
We didn't buy anything. A few gender neutral thing in op shops. To this day all I've bought it a few white singlets, spencers and Wondersuits, a dress and cardigan and a set of pyjamas. Everything else has been a gift or handmedown (or very cheaply bought 2nd hand)
We'll have another baby, and I'd like to re-use as much as possible. So I try to stick to gender neutral wherever I can.

[Harriet]

I've just remembered my GP asking me how I would know what colour to paint the baby's bedroom if I didn't know the gender!
Ummm... the same colour as the rest of the house..?!

[SiarasMummy]

I am 2 weeks away from having my second and once again we didn't find out the sex. My Husband desperately wanted to know for both but I really wanted the surprise so we didn't find out.

Last time as it was our first baby I wasn't concerned at all about any disappointment, and I said from about 12 weeks I had a strong feeling we would get a girl, and we did, and we were both so happy that she was healthy.
This time I am a LITTLE concerned about disappointment, personally I would love another girl but would be equally happy with a boy, but I can tell my Husband is really hoping for a boy as this will be our last child. I keep telling him I feel like we will get another girl but he is convinced it's a boy. It doesn't help that my MIL keeps telling him she has dreams about us having a boy! But at the end of the day I know he will be happy with whatever we have as long as it's healthy so it is not a huge concern to me.

As for buying gender neutral clothes etc, I don't think this is even an issue. I have had this conversation so many times with other pregnant friends, they all found out and tell me they did it as they wanted to 'be prepared' and go shopping for the right things...I really think people just place too much emphasis on the whole 'shopping business'...really, boy OR girl, all babies need the same things for those first few weeks, it is easy to buy white or neutral colours for those first few days and most people will get lots of clothes and presents given to them after the birth so it's not a big deal. Plus it's fun going out shopping for things once the baby is here, it doesn't have to be before they arrive. Our parents were never able to find out what sex we were but they seemed to be 'prepared' for us!
We didn't find out last time and I didn't have a baby shower either but by the time we got home from hospital we had plenty of pink clothes etc to keep us going until I felt like going shopping myself, and we had plenty of neutral stuff that I had bought as well. It's also fairly easy to decorate a room in neutral colours and then when you know what you have you can buy a few things to add to the room to make it for a boy or girl.

The thing that made me really want to keep the surprise the second time around was thinking back to my daughters birth - the most amazing moment through the whole thing was when she was placed on my chest and I yelled out 'OMG IT'S A GIRL!!!'. That is my favourite memory and still gives me goosebumps to think about it, I don't think I would've had the same reaction if we had found out during the ultrasound, I just don't think it would be quite as exciting without the 40 weeks of excitement and build up leading to it!