Minor freak out: I can't picture what my life will look like post baby

[FabFiona]

I was talking to husband this morning and we were talking about next year. We are lucky that with a few financial cut backs, we can live on his wage so we have options. We were talking about me going back to uni, coming back to work or staying at home.

However it got me thinking - this time next year I have no idea what I'll be doing. This time in 2 months I have no idea what I'll be doing. I've got no real experience with babies not having little ones in the family. I've never changed a nappy, never given a bath, nothing. I seriously have no idea. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, but it led my thoughts on other paths.

Then that got me thinking - what will my life look like? I will be doing all of these things that I have no idea how to do now. I have always worked, always been pretty top of my game and generally always been in control. Now, I'm about to have a baby who despite his youth will be in control. This little man will have such an influence on my life and we've not even met. I have no idea the type of baby he will be and whether I'll be able to give him what he needs.

So yeah... I just can't get my head around the fact that very soon my life is going to change and I have no control over that change. I can't really plan because I don't know how it's all going to go, how I am going to go and how we as a family are going to go.

Sigh... This is doing my head in a bit.

Fiona

[BekZ]

Oh my, I could have written this post before DD1 was born. You sound very much like me and how I was pre bub. I am glad to report that you know more than you think you do, and most of it does come naturally.

I will however say this. I found life without structure a little difficult initially. I really had to learn to go with the flow and let bub show me how to be her mum. I also found mothers group invaluable. You learn so much from others!

So in a few months from now you'll be staying in on a weekend nights watching dvds, you'll be comsumed with talk about boobs, milk, sleep, wind and poo. You'll be taking photos of your precious bub and you'll be staring into his/her eyes in amazement and wonder.

goodluck

[New Dawn]

Hunny, sit wn relax and try ( I know its hard ) not to stress about it all... If you dont know how to do something ASK... never be afraid to ask anyone anything...

Yes your life will change, yes you wont know what your doing from one day to the next, but its all good.. your little man will need you and you will need him...

Believe me as hard as it is to believe, not even a month after he has been in your lives you wont know what you did with yourselves before he came along...

Go with the flo is the best advise I can give you try not to stress about everything... You will be a mum and you will be a GREAT one...

[NaeNae]

Fionaw

I know how you are feeling hun boy has it been in the fore front of my mind.

I have spent time pondering over what my days will entail, whether I will have time to even spend 40 mins with one of my horses once every couple of days let alone have time for friends etc.

I have just started Mat leave so the thought of returning to work is honestly the furthest from my mind.

I too have never been around babies, changed nappies, cleaned up vomit, bathed a baby and yes I am freaking out a little but I am sure I will find my way around these things - I even had to post in here because I washed my baby wonder suits and they went crunchy (hard and scratchy) and had no idea what I had done wrong .

I think realising that you have no control over it and that you cannot actually plan is the most important thing you can realise at this stage. This way you won't have set ideas about how you will do things and you will remain flexible in your learning rather than rigid and idealistic.

I think the most reassuring thing I have found is that we are very lucky to have a wonderful place like this where the support is always there. Maybe there is a BB member who can come over and show you a few things or mayby if you have gone to antenatal classes you have made a close friend from one or more of the girls there who you can fumble your way together?

Your not alone ..... I am right there with you and YES its doing my head a bit as well

Nae x x x

[Roryrory]

You know what, Fiona, your baby won't know what to do either! He won't have the first clue about how he likes to go to sleep, whether he likes to be burped during a feed or only after he's finished, if he likes having a bath or a shower, or if he likes being swaddled. Then just when he works it out he'll be 2 months old and he'll change his mind.

And you know what? You two (or three, if I include your husband in this) will work it out together. You'll probably listen to advice of others, accept some of it, try other parts, or reject some outright. You'll try stuff in the first week that is a hopeless failure, only to try it again in a few weeks and find it works a treat.

Your boy will take you to places you never knew existed - to a world where soap bubbles are more precious and exciting than diamonds and dirt is something that makes a thing more attractive; where a cry in the night will break your heart but the smile you see waiting for you will make it melt.

You are right in that you don't know how things will be, but that's only because it has the very real potential to be more wondrous than you can imagine

[danniellabella]

I felt the same when I was pregnant with DD. I even had a panic attack one night after I'd been on maternity leave for 2 weeks and realised that I wasn't going back to work the following week but that I had several months off. That was scary in itself for me!

For me I was surprised at how much I actually knew once DD came into the world and how automatically a lot of things happened. I did ring my mum and sister a fair bit in the first month I think, but that was only after trying everything I could think of.

I remember one time when DD was about 2 months old DH asked me about something baby related over the phone while I was out on my own for the first time and I was really surprised at how I just knew and could give him a really in depth answer and fix the problem without even being in the same place as my DD.

I found that instinct just kicked in fairly quickly after having DD.

Don't worry, you don't need to "know" everything, just where to find the information if you don't know. There are plenty of people here who can help with advice. Also, whether you like it or not, there will be plenty of friends, family and strangers who will give you advice...you'll very quickly work out who and what to listen to.