Ok, I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here....

I DO want this baby and I CAN'T wait to meet her.

BUT... I don't know if mentally / emotionally I am ready.

I'm not sure what it is... the last few weeks I have been quite keen, but also content to be PG a bit longer. I figured, this will be the last one, I'll enjoy it while it lasts, no point being impatient.

I was going to try some 'gentle' methods to get things moving from about 36-37 weeks, I'm having a VBAC & with a history of 'late' babies I thought it might take a couple of weeks to get things going anyhow. I told the dr at my 36 weeks appt I was going to start walking, EPO etc...have been taking RLT for weeks now... not quite willing to do anything more drastic at this stage anyway.

Now that it's getting closer I find myself just a little bit reluctant to speed it up.
I AM excited...I AM looking forward to it... every strong BH I get, I think 'good, things are moving along'...but I just don't know if I'm reallly ready...

I have a little bit of anxiety re the labour... the last one was a nightmare...but my gut feeling this time is that things will be ok...it's not all that I don't think.

part of it is a feeling (already) of 'what next?' I have been looking forward to this for so long...what happens after she is here?

Part of it might be that the others are so much older... I think it's hit me the last few days what having a new born is going to mean for us.
I'm really happy with my life atm... that's not something I have experienced very often... I'm worried it will all change...

I feel so selfish & ridiculous... I tried to talk to DH & he just doesn't get it he laughed & said too late now... well duh I kNOW that...

I wanted another baby so much....what is this feeling NOW????

I still really do want it, I am excited. I can't wait to meet her & hold her. I am (kind of) looking forward even to the labour. I have all along felt absolutely blessed to be having this baby & completely contented. Now there's just this other feeling underneath & I don't understand it.

Has anybody else 'not felt ready?' and did it get better before bub arrived?