Not sure I'm ready?.....

[Fleur]

Ok, I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here....

I DO want this baby and I CAN'T wait to meet her.

BUT... I don't know if mentally / emotionally I am ready.

I'm not sure what it is... the last few weeks I have been quite keen, but also content to be PG a bit longer. I figured, this will be the last one, I'll enjoy it while it lasts, no point being impatient.

I was going to try some 'gentle' methods to get things moving from about 36-37 weeks, I'm having a VBAC & with a history of 'late' babies I thought it might take a couple of weeks to get things going anyhow. I told the dr at my 36 weeks appt I was going to start walking, EPO etc...have been taking RLT for weeks now... not quite willing to do anything more drastic at this stage anyway.

Now that it's getting closer I find myself just a little bit reluctant to speed it up.
I AM excited...I AM looking forward to it... every strong BH I get, I think 'good, things are moving along'...but I just don't know if I'm reallly ready...

I have a little bit of anxiety re the labour... the last one was a nightmare...but my gut feeling this time is that things will be ok...it's not all that I don't think.

part of it is a feeling (already) of 'what next?' I have been looking forward to this for so long...what happens after she is here?

Part of it might be that the others are so much older... I think it's hit me the last few days what having a new born is going to mean for us.
I'm really happy with my life atm... that's not something I have experienced very often... I'm worried it will all change...

I feel so selfish & ridiculous... I tried to talk to DH & he just doesn't get it he laughed & said too late now... well duh I kNOW that...

I wanted another baby so much....what is this feeling NOW????

I still really do want it, I am excited. I can't wait to meet her & hold her. I am (kind of) looking forward even to the labour. I have all along felt absolutely blessed to be having this baby & completely contented. Now there's just this other feeling underneath & I don't understand it.

Has anybody else 'not felt ready?' and did it get better before bub arrived?

[~Trish~]

You sound like me atm! I think it's very normal to have those feeling, especially when you are so close the finish line. I definitely felt that way towards the end of my last pregnancy, I'd have my good days and my panicked days. One night I had a melt down to DH and then I went into labour in the early hours of the next morning, so I think hormones have a lot to do with these feelings . Overall, I did feel mainly peaceful in the last remaining days.

I am exactly the same as you atm, really looking forward to meeting my bub, but not quite ready to yet. Yes, life is going to change, it's a lot to fathom! Luckily things have a way of falling into place and you'll find your bub will just slot into your lives and you won't remember life without her

[BekZ]

Jasp - Hugs sweets. I believe your feelings are very normal. I felt like this when pregnant with DD2 and now I find myself feeling the same way again. I am putting it down to "pre-baby" nerves (just like pre-wedding jitters).

A couple of weeks again I had major doubts about how I am going to cope with 3 under 4and I seriously questioned why I was doing this all again!!! I felt so guilty for feeling this way. I think you read my melt down post!!!

Now I have the nesting bug big time and I finally feel like I am getting ready and feeling more ready by the day. As for getting ready emotionally and mentally I am starting to visualise bub getting ready for birth, the birthing experience, our first cuddle etc. At times I am having pangs of "fear" but I am using the visualisation as a way to calm myself and prepare. Did all that make sense?

[Willow]

I've never felt that way before, but I definitely feel that way with this pregnancy.

Our youngest is only 19mo and I remember it all so clearly - the labour, bringing a newborn home, the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the complete upheaval of the family. And I admit, I'm a bit scared. I kinda like my life the way it is now, cause with a 19mo, it's mostly easy now. Some days I am so scared and so worried about how I'll cope, how DS will cope that I forget to be excited about meeting this baby

I have been trying to prepare by getting things organised physically (nursery etc) and working on the mental and emotional readiness. I think that because this baby was such a surprise for us, I'm still feeling this strong sense of it all being surreal.

My DH is very much like yours and makes comments like "you wanted three " (even though this baby was very much wanted, it was very much unplanned and I'm not the only one who played a part in that!) and "well, you'd better get ready!"

Your dates are very close to mine, so we still have a bit of time on our hands (and I tend to go later too), and hopefully by then we will feel ready

**ETA: LOL, Trish & Bek...had a feeling you guys might post! Seems to me we're all pretty normal or we can all rock in the corner together

[Lulu]

Yep, felt that - 3 times over!

It's ok chick - the last time I did EVERYTHING in my power to feel ready. Everything was organised to the enth degree...and the little bugger came 3 weeks early!

[Fleur]

Oh boy....I'm feeling better already

thanks for the replies...it helps so much knowing it's not just me & I'm not horrible or crazy (well not much )

When all else fails head to BB ...you guys are awesome

[mbear]

I was quite happy to be pregnant forever with H.....4 children 5 and under...mmmm how the heck was i gonna cope ??? How was i going to put them all to bed when DH was on nightshift?? How was i going to drop DD#1 off at school by 830am with 3 under 3 ???????????? YOu know what.....ive done it twice now and im ok with it..i really dont know what i was stressing about.....i even had time this morning to make the beds !!!!!!!

3 weeks in and life is good, its actually do-able. It has to be doesnt it ?? My DH is the same as yours....says 'well you wanted kids '....(he was happy with 1). Some days i feel like running, and never looking back, but 99% of the time i truly am happy where i am.

I remember about 4 weeks ago i thought to myself 'how am i gonna have time to breastfeed a newborn'......now....3 weeks in....you find time, you just do it. YOu find time for that extra little person, and honestly now, he feels like hes been here forever.

Good luck.....

[BekZ]

Willow - Lol..I thought you'd drop in here too.

MBear - So glad you are coping well. I had been thinking about how you were going with everything.

Jasp - Are you feeling better?

[Fleur]

Mbear you are supermum

Bekz I felt soo much better as soon as I read everyone's replies. I had been feeling bad about feeling like that iykwim? I thought I was being horrible & I was worried it would last & I wouldn't feel happy after bub got here...but yeah, reading everyone's replies made me feel at least like I wasn't on my own

Like Willow said... you remember it all so clearly...and we are in a good place now with the kids being older & more independant. (I guess that counts as a plus too though, right?)

Now I am feeling better & back to being excited BUT I am also just enjoying this time before she gets here. And I keep reminding myself that things change so very quickly. I said to DH yesterday , I think when bub is actually here I will be more upset by how quickly she is growing kwim?

So I guess I'm back to being in a good place... I can appreciate the last little bit before her arrival but I so can't wait to see her.

So big thanks again to everyone

- Willow - rock in the corner together, lol - that might just happen yet!

[missya]

Hiya Jas,

I could have written your letter, honestly I'm just the same I have an 11 year old and a 8 year old and this was a surprise baby. So I understand how huge it is to get your head around how much it will change everything. I go from being excited to terrified in seconds. Don't get me wrong 99% of the time I'm completely contented and happy then I start to panic and think of how it will turn our life upside down. I too am very happy and contented with life at the moment and dread anything upsetting that. Then I feel guilty for feeling any negative feelings towards this wee bundle except it's not negativity towards bubs just fear of the unknown I guess.
Honestly I'm all over the show at the moment, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
All the best, Missy.

[Fleur]

Missy, it's so good to hear it's not just you isnt it?

This bub was a surprise for us too, a much longed for one on my part but I didn't think I would get it. So it was a huge adjustment mentally & emotionally to have to make.

I guess we are just being realistic, kwim? We've been there done that & know what it means. But we also know how wonderful it is so that is what I'm reminding myself of right now.

I guess we have to trust that it will all fall into place when they get here - and I am getting soo excited

Willow, Trish....how are you doing...