It's good to be informed, but try not to worry, it sounds horrific, but it was surprisingly okay for me. I can't comment on a 3rd degree tear, which I understand can be difficult because in some cases a bit of reconstruction can be required.
But the reason grazing hurts is because, like a carpet burn, it stings. Some people don't graze at all! For those who do, peeing with hands on the floor and butt in the air helps (and you also have the benfit of looking super classy while peeing), and URAL can help take the sting out of peeing too.
With stitches, I think the worst part (because it's unexpected) is that healing itch. Showers help, salt baths help, as well as the flushable toilet wipes you can get. Ice helps with swelling. I think the midwives used to cut into the stuffing of a pad from the end and fill it with ice.
I hope you feel more informed now, and not that scared. Many women tear (many women don't!) and in the great scheme of things, while inconvenient and uncomfortable, usually isn't as bad as is sounds in theory. xo
Emma gave you a great run down. As Nelle said it's great & necessary to be informed - but don't dwell on it!
I had a second degree tear with my first baby & I made an informed decision to not have sutures. My peri healed beautifully in a very short amount of time. It was stingy for a few days but it certainly wasn't agonising.
I was a bit concerned about the whole tearing/epi thing (which is strange when you think about the pain of labour as a whole) but hopefully if it does happen it won't be too bad, and like Linzy said, i'll have other things on my mind to distract me
On a related note, can anyone extol the virtues of Perineum massage coming up to labour? I guess the theory is sound as far as preparing the area, but considering the vagina etc are so stretchy in the first place, wouldn't any massage just bounce back IYKWIM? Has anyone done it and noticed a benefit, or is it a bit of a myth?
I had a 3rd degree ( 2nd stage 2 hrs)with no.1 the got infected and had to be restiched. (blurgh)
still went natural again with number 2 seconds stage 10mins! ( 2nd deg tear) I only tore cause cord was around her neck and they had to pull her out.
no peri massage or anything like that.
doc siad lots of scar tissure form first birth- but so glad i didint get a c. OB siad i still did right thing going for a fufu birth!!
I did peri massage with no1 religiously from 34weeks and didn't have any tears or grazes. With my second I started half heartedly at 35weeks and had DD at 36weeks so it didn't have time to work well I guess. I had multiple thick grazes to the urethra, clitoris and labia minora. I guess peri massage doesn't exactly massage the urethra lol so I guess it wouldn't have helped. I definately believe it helped with my first. I was young (17) and hadn't been sexually active long (not to say that has anything to do with it) and was much smaller down below and didn't have any tears with no1 but did with no2. They were also the same size.
I re-read what I wrote before and I didn't intend to scare anyone. Personally as a midwife I can't say people complain about their vagina's post birth except they might be tender and request ice or panadol. Mine stung when peeing but TBH DH has made me feel worse then my births did in that department.
On the contrary Emmy, your straightforward factual info was exactly what i was after! I have noted that OB's and Midwives are sometimes reluctant to go into a lot of detail about episiotomies and tearing, probably trying not to freak us preggos out, but honestly, the more info I know the more prepared i feel and calmer.
I know after reading almost three pages of birth stories that i am way more prepared and less nervous on what's to come.
I had a second degree tear with dd, didnt feel it when it happened or while I was being stitched but the weeks after were so painful. I can remember being in tears everytime I needed a no.2 as they would start to bleed ......salt baths and frozen maternity pads were a blessing
But on a positive Doc says its a sign of a small vagina
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