I remember a similar article around a while back and Marc actually found it offensive and he was angry with that guy for not only spoiling a beautiful moment but making his partner feel that way too. I won't go into to much he said LOL but he wasn't impressed, and I agree with him. I don't think all guys are knuckle dragging oafs who find it so hard to find birth a beautiful experience. I know some really blokey blokes and they all melt when they see their children being born. And I think if there are problems then they need professional help, because its just not healthy and I would be worried about the children being raised with the same values.
My Dh wouldnt have been anywhere else... He was watching his daughter arrive into the world, shedding tears in awe, amazement & wishing he could do something for me...
But then again, I know he is the most tender, caring, sensetive, special person to me, anything less wouldnt have been my choice in life partner!
I can understand it can shake them up a bit because it is pretty intense but to turn them off completely? Ridiculous. I wouldnt want to be with a man who thought like that, its selfish. If the idea of watching bub fly out is repulsive then they should stay up the non-action end, nurses dont expect every man (or labouring mother for that matter!) to want to see the gory side of things. To be honest though, it really isnt as gory as people make it out to be.
My husband was there from the moment my labour started til they wheeled bub off to my room while I showered and not standing at my head either, he was front row centre squished between the midwives so he could see everything that was happening. I didnt think he would want to see because believe me he is a blokey bloke and doesnt always have emotional feelings like he should but he did and loved every second of it. He even yelled encouraging things to me while he was watching - "I can see his head, he has hair!" "Your doing great his chin is almost out" "He's got a beautiful face" because it was annoying me the midwives werent saying what was happening. Im sure my vajayjay didnt look very appealing but it hasnt altered his way of viewing me. We still have fantastic sex and he has no qualms about looking at my vajayjay now either. I think its brought us closer together. I asked him the other day if he wanted to stay up the other end this time round and he adamantly insisted that he watch this one too! Ive decided I want to watch this time as well, it makes me sad a little that I didnt get to see what he saw because he talks about all of it (esp seeing our sons head crown and him popping out onto the bed) with so much emotion and awe.
I couldnt imagine not having had him there. I would never have forgiven him if he hadnt been there, its not about them as an individual its about us giving birth to a child that is OURS, his and mine, and I needed him. He considers it the least he can do seeing as I carried our son, vomitted for 20wks, suffered the high blood pressure and swelling AND the pain from labour.
Last edited by Freya; July 23rd, 2007 at 01:45 PM.
My hubby loves being there and being part of it and neither of us would have it any other way. He did feel a little squirmish when the baby started emerging (first born, vaginal birth) and preferred to hang out at the other end at that point and hold my hand and help me push rather than watch baby's head coming out. He certainly wasn't put off sex and was eager to get straight back into our sex-life as soon as I felt recovered and ready. I felt our sex life was great after having a baby! I don't relate to the quoted article at all.
Julie, that was so well written. Thank u for sharing that. And I cant agree with u more. As for me, we kind of talked about it and I asked him if he would like to cut the cord. He said of course! So I gather from that that the birthing bit shouldn't be a problem. I just hope he's ready for the blood!! *lol* Maybe I should just run it by him again.....
I just asked my DH about this, and he said that the guy in question was a "goose" and that he couldn't imagine feeling that way. Watching the birth of his daughter was the most magical experience, and gave him more respect for me and a woman's body then ever before. He can't imagine not being there for the bith of this one.
Administrator
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks