Thanks guys you have all been really helpful. I went to playgroup today and got some other perspectives as well as quite a few mums go there so I got to hear the opinions of an atheist whose kid goes there, a mum who is lutheran but not very hardcore, and another who is quite devout and is also a teacher so gave me some good perspectives on the teachings there and the philosophies and I think it settled some of my concerns. So at this point we are still undecided but leaning towards the lutheran school. While DH was still leaning towards the state school I was considering how I would put my case to him about the lutheran one when his mum piped up about paying for school, and about it being religious which got him all indignant and pushed him most of the way without me doing anything! LOL Gotta love MILs!