Stressed about educational decisions

[Bathsheba]

I've been through a bit of this. When my DD was 3yo I really couldn't make up my mind either and actually missed out on getting her into preschool because of it! Her personality was such that she was soooo ready for it and we faced the prospect of her just having to "make do" with a childcare spot instead. I had a strong preference for a small private school but DH wanted to go public. In the end I was quietly thrilled that our only option was to send her to a small Anglican girls' school pre-school. Fortunately there was no waiting list (the high fees probably prevented this). Dh was initially very concerned that by sending her to this school we would be doomed financially... he also admitted to being a bit intimidated by the "kind of parents" that would send their DD's to such a school. Well both concerns were eventually eased: I ended up getting a job there! Meant a 25% staff discount... and we soon learned that the other parents were as diverse as at any other school and that it was not snob city LOL We were very happy with the school until our DD's interests started to vary from the kind of "focus " the school had... she became very sports focused and the school wasn't.... the school was very much Art/drama focused. So after 5 years we found a new school for her.

So, my suggestion is that you work out which should would benefit your child's personality the most. There is no perfect school... only "good matches". My DD is now in grade 8 and I try not to think about how much $ we have spent on fees... it's irrelevant really... because we know that the two schools she has attended have formed her character into one that we admire. She has never complained of bullying which was a huge issue with both DH and I as we were both bullied mercilessly at school. From my experience private schools do more frequently have a zero tolerance toward bullying than compared to public ones... but I'm sure that's just broadly speaking. If your child is being bullied then it won't matter how good the facilities are or the academic standard... they will be too distracted to actually learn or enjoy attending if they are bullied... everything starts with the culture of the school i think.

The other thing I would suggest is to make appointments with schools outside "Open Days". You are more likely to get a truer impression of the place and the staff won't be all "psyched up" and the environemtns won't be as "perfect". I know, I've been a staff member at a private school on Open Days. And when you visit don't get swept away by appearances/facilities. LISTEN to how the staff speak to students... that is the best indicator, I think, of the true culture of a school.

Good luck! It is such a hard one!!!