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Thread: Worried I did the wrong thing :/

  1. #1

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    Default Worried I did the wrong thing :/

    This morning we rode to school.. Ethan was ahead of us and the "bully" (mentioned in other threads) was there as well.. he turned and saw us and he and his mates stopped and waited for us to go past.. When we caught up with Ethan he told us "bully" had told him to **** off..

    Well I got pinged off then so I stopped and waited for him to come around the corner then I pointed at him and said Hey you.. Get here.. He stopped of course so I called out and said.. You quit your swearing at him.. Do you understand me.. I have have had enough of you mouthing off.. Dh then said.. if we hear of you swearing at Ethan again we will ring your mother and arrange to see the Principal.. enough is enough.. Watch your mouth and quit it ok..



    We were outside the school grounds.. His mother takes the younger kids to school and as soon as he got inside the school he ran up to his mum..

    now I am worried I will get into trouble... I know I am in the right.. This child calls my son a F C nearly every day.. Slapped him on the side of the head in tuesday and calls him an idiot all the time..

    Enough is enough.. Do you think we will get in trouble for this?

  2. #2

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    Oh hun, I so hear you. I would have done exactly the same thing. You were outside the school grounds so you had every right to tell him off. Even if his mother makes a complaint to the principal I would explain exactly what happened and tell them if it happens again you will do exactly the same thing. Big to you and I hope it all works out.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  3. #3

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    You didn't physically abuse him, you didn't swear at him, you didn't threaten to harm him in any way.

    I think that you did exactly the right thing. He got caught doing something bad and was yelled at for it. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

    If I were in your position I would probably ring the Principal and let them know what was going on and that you had spoken to the kid this morning when you saw him at it. That way if there is any drama the Principal can say that they already know about it - and you get your story in first.

    Also, if a Principal knows that something has got to the point where it is happening in front of parents they should probably be doing something about it - that kid is out of control.

  4. #4

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    I think you definiately did the right thing and handled it so well. I wouldn't of been able to restrain myself from slapping the little bugger.
    I agree with Muppity and call the principal and have a chat about it. Even if the mother does make a complaint, it would probably be a good thing because she might realise what her 'little darling' is actually doing.

  5. #5

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    Thanks just what i needed to hear.

    i keep waiting for the phone to ring and it be the school.. As I was walking back out of the school this morning a police car drove past and I nearly pooped myself lol..

    I didn't even yell just called out so he could hear me..

    I am also worried Ethan is going to get picked on more today cus this kid knows the school won't do anything..

    Dh is going up this afternoon and will speak with the Principal (the twat that he is) if anything happened today..

    The principal is just plain useless in this case.. I am not going to bother ringing him now.. He wouldn't say anything and to me its like he is on this kids side anyways.. Makes his schooling a good experience but bugger all the other kids..

    Will let you know if anything comes of it

  6. #6

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    Nic - the principal sounds like an idiot. Bullying needs to be taken seriously. I don't know much of your story, but if it's really bad, maybe call the Department of Education. Bullying is horrible and sometimes the memories of it can stay with a person for a very long time.

  7. #7

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    Well nothing came of it at the school which i am pleased about.. however... on the way home

    Dh rode ahead but far enough back.. This kid was trying to block Ethans path with his scooter.. He fell off and Ethan rode back to his dad and said "kid" won't let me get past. dh got up to where they were and said to him.. Are you alright? then this kid started saying how Ethan kicked him and knocked him off his scooter.. which he didn't as Dh saw him fall

    Then he turned and said.. I saw you fall because you were being mean and not letting Ethan through.. This kid started to say how ethan knocked him down again and Dh stopped him right there and said no he didn't.. If you weren't so mean to other kids they might actually like you and help you..

    he then asked if he needed his mum called or anything which he didn't.. dh said he looked quite shocked when he told him to stop being mean lol/

    We have decided unless someone says anything to us we will continue to say things (in a nice way of course) like we did today. I know we can't help the other kids he picks on but we can hpefully stop him picking on Ethan.. *fingers crossed* anyways..

  8. #8

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    Well nothing came of it at the school which i am pleased about.. however... on the way home

    Dh rode ahead but far enough back.. This kid was trying to block Ethans path with his scooter.. He fell off and Ethan rode back to his dad and said "kid" won't let me get past. dh got up to where they were and said to him.. Are you alright? then this kid started saying how Ethan kicked him and knocked him off his scooter.. which he didn't as Dh saw him fall

    Then he turned and said.. I saw you fall because you were being mean and not letting Ethan through.. This kid started to say how ethan knocked him down again and Dh stopped him right there and said no he didn't.. If you weren't so mean to other kids they might actually like you and help you..

    he then asked if he needed his mum called or anything which he didn't.. dh said he looked quite shocked when he told him to stop being mean lol/

    We have decided unless someone says anything to us we will continue to say things (in a nice way of course) like we did today. I know we can't help the other kids he picks on but we can hpefully stop him picking on Ethan.. *fingers crossed* anyways..

  9. #9

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    Wow just came across this thread. Just curious to know if the bully has calmed down at all & whether your DH's words got through to him? I couldnt stand to think of my child being bullied, its terrible. Even worse if your child was the bully!

  10. #10

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    I don't think you did the wrong thing but I would start teaching Ethan how to stand up for himself or this could end up being an ongoing problem. Try to teach him how to use his wit to outsmart the bullies.
    A course in self defense wouldn't go astray either it will give him the self confidence he needs to back himself up without the need to resort to violence.
    It's unfortunate but I don't think there is much schools can do to prevent bullying. For all the stuff theytry if a bully wants to be a bully they will regardless.
    JMO

  11. #11

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    I think what you did was a great thing. There is nothing more empowering for a younger child to see their parents back them. I agree with Leoni that I would be giving him the tools to deal with confrontation and unwanted attention. But I don't necessarily agree with self defense classes, I would honestly go with drama and confidence building stuff first. The mind is stronger than the fist.

    How did the meeting with the principal go?

  12. #12

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    Well since then he has settled down a fair bit.. Still says the odd nasty thing to Ethan but he seems better..

    I am glad we stood up for our son that day now.. It worked and thats all that matters now

  13. #13

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    Glad it's gotten better. Your school should have a bullying policy. This is something the school should be aware of and be dealing with. If it's happening on the way too and from school then it's probably happening during school.

    I agree with others who've said that you need to teach Ethan to stand up for himself. Bullies only do what they do because they like the power. So you need to role play with Ethan what he can say to take away their power. A friend of mine also had success sending her son to Tae Kwan do classes. he feels much more confident to stand up for himself and isn't bothered by bullies anymore.

    Being bullied can change your child. It took my dd until the end of year seven to get over being bullied in PP/Yr1. Don't let people tell you to forget/ignore it. I'm glad you stood up for Ethan and I bet he is too

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