Reply With QuoteDefinitely childish. And way to go with the guilt trip "if your mother really cared about you she'd pay" Do you think there is any way of them resolving the argument and DD moving back with them?
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sorry about the confusion, I am so confused too LOL..
all 3 kids live the majority of the time with X, he got the $200K settlement cause he took more custody of the kids and was going to provide them with their education.. Now the money has dried up, the kids are settled into wickedly expensive schools. DS has done the swapsee thing and we changed his school we couldn't afford and then he went back and they changed his school again. This is the first time DD has done it to us.
When DS walked out on them they just cut the school payments off and asked for the uniorms back - oh so childish.
shellbell - was thinking even about calling the school and telling them, even showing them the e-mails and asking if we can come to some arrangement for the last term. I kind of feel that they are tying to get out of looking like fools for pulling her out of the school so they are blowing some argument out of proportion and making me look foolish and embarrass myself for taking her out of the school due to financial difficulty IYKWIM
Last edited by Nicambhar; September 11th, 2009 at 10:15 PM.
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Definitely childish. And way to go with the guilt trip "if your mother really cared about you she'd pay" Do you think there is any way of them resolving the argument and DD moving back with them?
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Make sure he signs something to say that you now have sole custody...and put her in public school.
Short and sweet, sorry.
Private school is a "want", not a "need". If he "wants" her to continue at private school, then he pays for it. If he doesn't pay, you send her where she "needs" to go, and where you can afford for her to go.
okay...maybe not so short, lol.
Would you go into debt for her...and then send Bella to public school?? That's not fair.
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I agree with Marlene, what a mess and how childish of him. I hope it all works out.
Regards,
Dianne
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ff - DD has tried calling her dad so many times and he just hangs up on her. There was also an e-mail sent to DD asking her to forward him 8 points she needs to improve on, it was to be typed in 12 point font, fill the page, make sense and be with him by 8pm.. WTF, who does that....
Marlene - We don't mind sending her to the local catholic schools and are willing to pay up to certain amount and they all fit the criteria perfectly. Bella will be going to any one of the same schools, good point cause DF brought this up today actually.
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goodness me Im sory your DD's father is being so incredibly childish and selfish about all this!
Of course your DD is gonna feel like her world has ended if she has to leave her current school, but I think the best thing to do is take full custody of DD and put her in public school.
Hope things get sorted out x
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Sounds like DD will be a LOT better off with you anyway. Sounds like he has a few screws loose. No wonder he's an X!!
Go ahead with the catholic schools then hun. Whatever school you can afford is what will be best for your DD. I'm sure we will not be a happy chappy when she has to change schools, but she will get over it. Plenty of kids have to change schools for all different reasons...it's just a part of life..and another life lesson.
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I agree with Marlene, she will understand and probably hate her dad and step mother for putting her in that situation. Hopefully she learns some life lessons from her father on what NOT to do!
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I'd try talking to the school about some sort of delayed payment for the rest of the year and explain the situation with your X - let her finish out the year. Sorry, but I just think it would be really hard to start at a new school, not at the beginning of the year (did that, worse time of my life).
That also allows for some negotiations of some sort with XH (although sounds like you might not get very far) just in case he lets DD come back to his place.
If that doesn't work, catholic school it is.
If DD does go back to XH, I would be making it very clear to her that you can't afford the fees and that she would have to go to another school if it doesn't work out with Dad. Although this may be putting undue pressure on her, especially if he is having unrealistic expectations of what a 14 year old is like.
Good luck!
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He has issues!!!!!!!
Sorry this is happening to you and DD hope you can sort it out asap, I do aggree that starting a new school in term 4 would be very tough, talk with school and see what can be arranged.
Good luck
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OMG he sounds like a nut job!
I defy him to find a 14 yr old girl who isn't sometimes rude!!
I would contact the school and show them all the emails too, they may have some extra funds for this kind of emergency.
Your poor DD.
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Agree whats been said in here! What is his problem, he sounds so childish, worse than a child.
I'm sure the school will come up with a payment plan for the rest of the year if you explain it to them, yes it'll be hard for your daughter to change schools but she will adjust and there are alot good catholic schools out there.
Totally agree, what kind father hangs up on his daughter over and over, a child doesn't need that sort of crap in there lives, grr, i feel angry reading this thread! I wanna knock his head off!Make sure he signs something to say that you now have sole custody...and put her in public school.
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What a mean dad!!!! I personally think it would be best for you to take her out (either now or at the end of the year) and send her to a school that you can afford. Sit down and have a really honest, adult conversation with your DD to explain why you have to do this, that you don't want to, but there is no choice. Yep, she might 'hate' you for a bit, but she'll get over it, and she will eventually see that her dad is the one to blame!!!
I feel sorry for her, her dad treating her like that. And WTF is with the 8 point email in 12 point font etc?????? Is he going to start home schooling her? He sounds like a really bad, mean teacher
. I hope she didn't do it.
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I agree with this 100%....I have this debate with the IL's (and DH) sometimes. I was publicly school educated, and they were privately school educated. I chose not to go to Uni because I'd already decided what I wanted to do by year 10 and I got into it and studied it. They went to Uni, racked up debt, but it got them no further in life than me. With DS we would see if he wanted to learn and whether it would benefit him first before we ever took that path....I'll be pushing for public education, it does not harm!
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Really interesting reading all of the replies.. My crap situation aside, I often wonder why people feel the need to plunge into such a huge commitment.
Minimax - you are so right. I was a straight A student and went to the local high school cause my family couldn't afford to send me to a private school. I never went to uni, but I eventually did my certificate IV in business at TAFE, this never put me a cent into debt and I got a fabulous job and now I work from home for my DF. Whereas XH's wife has done half her teaching course, half of something else and half of something else IYGWIM at uni and thinks she knows it all. When she and my X got married he realised that he also married her $30k hecs debt
Janie - the 12 point font thing is nothing, you should see the txts I get, sometimes I could knock his head off his shoulders too.
Thanks for the support ladies, so muchly appreciated but my job is still not any easier. I hate being in this position.
I just talked to DD on the phone and she didn't want to talk about it because she is enjoying her weekend away with her friends.glad she's enjoying herself.
I feel like forwarding his e-mail to his work, friends, family and the school so they can see just what a lowlife he and his wife are...
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Oh I feel sorry for you!!! My dad used to send my mum 5 page letters, explaining all the things he wasn't happy with. Usually nonsense. However, if he called our house to talk my brother and I, and mum answered, he couldn't get off the phone quick enough!!!!
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Sue, so not expecting to read what i just read.
Hugs to you and your DD. What a father! I bet your X and his wife were looking for some petty excuse to send DD packing back to your house. Just because the money dried up, they weren't going to go into debt for her. How pathetic. If he thinks DD is rude, well he's just effing childish.
Your DD doesn't need him or his wife. Good riddance i reckon. How can a parent hang up the phone to their own kids? What if there really was something important she needed to talk to him about, like an emergency situation??
I think DD needs to go into a school that you can afford now. Why wait until the end of the year and rack up extra expenses for yourselves? She is going to leave that school anyhow isn't she?? What difference will a term make? In fact, it will give her a head start for next year, as she'll already have made friends.
No kid wants to leave their friends behind, but it's just part of life.
I agree with the others, make sure you get some form of documentation which states that DD will be with you from now on.
Gl hun.
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If I had a child with special needs and that's what it cost to give them a chance at a good education, then yes, I would.
If we can't afford to send DD to a private school when we are planning to (she's booked in from year 5 onwards), then we won't go into debt for it, no. We can supplement her (comparatively) free public school education with extra tutoring, if she needs it, or extracurricular activities (music lessons, etc) if it doesn't seem that the local school has as much available in an area that suits her as we would like. I went to a state school and I have two and a half degrees (one a postgrad, which are all paid for!). The value placed on education by families does not necessarily correlate to the amount of money spent on it.
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