Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - February 2010

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

I know that many of our regular members of this thread are having very difficult times at the moment - I hope we can continue to be supportive & hopeful in times that sometimes are very difficult. Welcome to our new members - it is always wonderful to have new members to share this journey.
Janie you & your baby will continue to be in our prayers, thoughts and hopes this month... And Michelle we are all holding your hand as this month gives you answers to the questions that have been raised about Omar. :hug:

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying
Inanna and
Spring Angel

Their email addresses can be found here.

Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications.

Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!


You will find the previous thread HERE

Hi girls,

Lisa - those sharp little twitches are totally normal, bubs is getting bigger and bouncing off your pelvic floor - I found they even hurt at times, like electric shocks - could get worse before it gets better, but it shouldn't be painful iykwim. Congrats to your SIL, I pray they have a healthy happy babe.

Hi to everyone - not feeling that chatty, as mentioned b4 my big girl started high school today - she went fine, no problems, it's me thats really feeling it, just feel flat and cheated tbh - pondering why things are such smooth sailing for some, but for others, well we know only too well...............sigh sigh..... be back later when the black dog is gone...

Lee xo

Oh Lee big big cuddles darling woman. :hug:

I truly do understand but for different reasons... Just to qualify... My ex husband had "episodes" where he just walked out. The first time was when my DD14 was 4 months old... He was gone a year. So her first Christmas, First Birthday, First Easter etc etc was a sad affair... He walked out when she was 3 again for over a year. So again the first preschool etc etc... I find things really really tough when I look back at her life & how hard she has done it. Now she is dealing with the permanent breakdown of her family as she knew it. At least for my other kids they have no other "bad" memories except the recent ones. (which of course is hideous :cry:) However, with Ruby I feel so guilty and responsible that her life has been so difficult.

Why does stuff happen... Well of course none of us know definitely do we! However, I believe that we all come in with a "contract" - lessons that we elect to learn... We are given those to help us to grow and develop to our best potential. Through the sadness of loss we learn to appreciate life, empathy... We learn to let go - even when it's forced on us. Through my other personal struggles I have learned other things. I have learn resilience. I've learned that you never know what's going on behind someone's smile... Nor their nastiness. We are all struggling & battling.

You Lee are an amazing & beautiful Being! I am sure your struggles have grown you to be so amazing. Your daughter chose you as her mother because you are her strength... I am so sorry that you are feeling like you are - I wish I could give you a cuddle. I am sure her Daddy is watching his little girl & I am sure he is as proud as punch.

Big cuddles again gorgeous... :hug:

Lisa WOOHOO on your SIL's BFP. I wish them the most amazing pregnancy journey :)

Jayne You are important to me too. I value your friendship and support and most of all your humorous little stories you tell about your gorgeous girls lol. How did DD1 go yesterday and today at Kindy? Did she atleast give you a kiss goodbye???

Michelle 2 more sleeps hun. I'll be "holding your hand" hun. What time is your appt?
As for your sister do you think your parents might not have told her whats going on? I only ask cos my mum has a terrible habit of calling us to tell us the most unimportant things but never ever calls to tell us the most important things :rolleyes: kwim?
Anyway know that you have all of our love and support no matter what :hug:

Janie How are you doing today? I hope you're resting up on the couch and making the most of all the offers of help ;)

Willow Happy half birthday to Mr D. Can't believe how fast the past 6 months have gone.
How is DD enjoying school?
As for TTing I just leave Sage's nappy off after breakfast and let him go around in just a t shirt or whatever and no pants at all.I also ask him every 15 or 20 mins if he needs to do a wee and 8 times out of 10 he'll say yes and run into the bathroom and sit on the potty(he doesn't like the toilet even with the little seat/step thing we have). Anyway he'll start to wee and stop and empty it into the toilet and then sit down and do another lol. He does this about 3 times before he's finished completely (I think he likes the cheering and hi 5's cos he often gives himself a little cheer and a clap :rofl: )
On the days I'm at work though I just wait til he wakes up from his afternoon sleep and take his nappy off then. I just have a plain little potty I bought from Target so nothing too fancy lol. I don't think he'd ever stop weeing if it played music :lol:

Bonham All the very best for your scan today. Hope all is going beautifully.

Lee How did your DD go going off to high school today? I'm sending you a huge :hug: I can't begin to imagine how tough days like today are for you all.

AFM I'm struggling a bit again today. Not too sure why but anyway. Just feeling down in the dumps.
I'm starting to worry about my appointment with DR S next week. I just have no idea on what to even say to this guy. So if any of you who have seen him please help on letting me know where to even start. I'm not good at doing 2nd opinions :redface:
I have my Ob appt this Friday and I'm not even sure what to expect from that one either.

BBL to check up on you all. Hi to everyone else I missed.

Lee I'm sorry hun. We posted at the same time. Just sending you lots more :comfort:

:hug: Deb

Just checkin in to see if Jo's back with news.

Man, Im still wondering when all of us in here are going to get a better run of things.

Ive discovered yet another rash on Jett today. On his arms and legs. Big patches that are almost like bruising but arent.He's not complaining; he isnt sick or has a fever. Just these patches of rash. Im starting to get really panicky now that there is something wrong with him; maybe immune disorder or something. It cant possibly be normal for kids to get rashes constantly without being sick. He's had a strawberry mark-like rash on his arm since he got sick with double ear infection at 9mths old and its slowly grown up his arm as he gets older; fades if you touch it but if he is sick, hot or upset it gets redder. So weird.

So now I have to try and get a GP appt sometime in the next million years and try to convince her to send him for testing or even allergy screening.

And Uni starts in 2 weeks and we want to try and move to DHs house as an interim til we get a new one.

:shakehead:

LEE _ You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel ripped off about DD & you are rightly so to feel ripped off - you HAVE been ripped off & DD has also been ripped off. I know it's not the same, but Alan has missed so much of both my girls lives. Jessica was almost 3 & Claudia was only 6 months old when he went away. This is his 3rd year working away & never once has he been here for the girls birthdays or their parties, he has been home for my birthday once & funnily enough he re-arranged his schedule to be home for his fathers 50th late last year :wall: Why couldn't he 're-arrange' sometimes to be home for his own children's birthdays??? It really leaves me :doh:. I know he works away to better US as a family, but it's so not fair. He has never seen Jessica go off on her first day of school & misses out on the kids when they pass a swimming stage or just the little things. I am very lucky that he does get flown home for Christmas. I'm not trying to say I have it as tough as you, just that I can completely understand how you feel.

FREYA _ I hope Michelle (AKA Meredith Grey), can shed light on the rash thing, but it doesn't sound right & it doesn't look right either to you, so it must not be right. Do you think he has an allergy to something really simple at home? Like washing powder or something? Or it could be to medication? The rash from the ear infection when he was 9m could that be from the medication? & did they give him medication this last time for the 'chicken pox' episode? Just clutching at straws???

MAKO _ THanks for asking, yes, I have got kisses the last 2 days when I dropped her off at Pre-Primary, she has settled in like I would never have imagined (She was separated from her bestie that she made last year), & she is singing songs that her teacher has taught them & LOVING the craft/collage table & bringing me home some very 'unique' pieces of artwork. Love that Sage is getting the hang of the TT & I love especially that he prolongs the hi-5's & cheering to the enth degree!

Love Jayne x

He is allergic to penicillan so he doesnt have it; hasnt had any antibiotics in months. Im wondering if its a food allergy or something like that. Someone mentioned ringworm to me; it looks a bit like the photos I googled but not enough for me to think its that. Plus we arent anywhere around cats and the like. And they havent been outside anywhere other than kindy and I bet they are pretty stringent about cleaning & the sandpit and stuff.

OMG Jo, THANK YOU!!! You wonderful wonderful woman, you have just made my year! I hadn't even realised I had been RAk'ed yet and I just can't thank you enough! I feel so very undeserving though, why me? Surely there are way more deserving people here?! Thank you again lovely, you have just brought a huge smile to my face. I can't seem to find you on FB though! How did you go today? I will be checking back in later to check up on you. I have to admit I am also a snapfish addict and have also just sent off my last order. i love to have all my photos sorted in albums where you can see them anytime, seems such a waste to have them on the computer only where you don't really look at them. Once my order arrives I am going to be VERY busy updating the albums as I have gotten quite behind! DD also likes to look at pictures of herself but unlike Sophie she doesn't realise that the baby pics she is looking at are of herself!!

michelle - not long to go now sweetie, I hope you are still keeping busy. I am confident that all will be well though. I just hate that you're going through this, as if you haven't been through enough already. I wish there was something I could do to make everything ok.

Lee - it must be so difficult for you at times like these knowing what your first DH is missing out on. I can only imagine how sad it must make you and how unfair it must seem. For what it's worth, I think you have done an amazing job of bringing your kids up after going through losing your DH and I have so much admiration for you.

Jayne - I wanted to let you know that I also think you are important! I love your posts, they are always so upbeat and funny and you always have lovely things to say to all of us, so don't forget that you matter to us!

Lisa - I am so happy for your SIL, that is fantastic news, and I will be praying for a sticky little bub for her. How are you feeling now? I hate all those uncomfortable niggles and the constant worry if it is normal or not! I felt heaps more pressure down below with DS and found that a lot of pains started earlier than with DD. I can't believe how close you are now, that seems to have flown by!

inertia - big big :hug: coming your way sweetie

freya - wow, the countdown for uni is on now - not long to go at all! Sorry to hear about the rash. DD has also had a strange rash lately and I have no idea what caused it. She also isn't in any pain, has no fever etc and it goes away quickly. I may also need to visit the GP soon to see what is going on.

Janie - how are you going today? Thinking of you constantly sweetie and hoping that gorgeous little bub of yours stays in there as long as possible.

mako - hehe on Sage wanting as many high fives and cheering as he can get by going potty multiple times! DD has asked to sit on the toilet a couple of times lately, even made us shut the door and leave her in peace the other day, only she doesn't do anything!! I think just run through your history with Dr S, maybe have a good think about exactly what you want to say before you go. I remember being sooo nervous before my appointment with the specialist when I wanted some recurrent m/c testing done. I was a wreck and came across like a total basketcase, so I am sure you will do better than me! He even referred me for counselling after my appointment!

Well after having the best intentions to finally write out my birth story today it is still not done! I had forgotten how much work newborns are and was stupidly thinking that with DD at daycare today I would have plenty of time to do a massive list of things that need doing and I hardly got anywhere! Sigh... will get there eventually and hopefully will prove cathartic. My parents arrive tomorrow night so it will be great having them to help out for a few days and hopefully I will be able to hide in the study for a bit and write up my story.

Hi to everyone else :)

Just stalking Jo... desperate to know how the scan went!!

DH is out tonight.. so after we do the whole 'dinner, bath and bed' thing.. I'll be back!!! LOL.

Kel xxx

Hi ladies,

I'm not sure what to think of my scan, i'm trying to process it in my head not having much luck though.

Bun: you are more than welcome and very deserving :hug: you are all very deserving i would have loved to have RAK'd everyone in here :lol:

I'll BBL once DD has gone to bed

Oh Jo... massive hugs... I hope all is ok. What happened today.. do you feel like talking about it.. we might be able to help?? It's such a scary time. Are you having another scan soon?? Please let us know what's going on... I'm worried.

Kel xxx

Oh... ok... sorry, I didn't take all of your post in... just read that you'll BBL once DD is in bed... sorry.. didn't mean to put the pressure on - LOL!! Looking forward to hearing what's going on and praying that its good news!

Kel xx

DD is in bed, earlier than usual but she didnt have a nap all day so was overtired, i dont care what time she wakes up tomorrow i just need peace atm.

So my scan, well i'm not sure how my scan went, i'm rather confused and more scared and worried than i was before.

It took several attempts to get pictures & measurements and i had to completely empty my bladder.

She said the yolk sac is of a early pregnancy between 4-6weeks and intact and she couldnt find a fetal pole but that might be because it's too early.

The report will be sent to my Dr overnight and i'll ring tomorrow after 2pm to make sure they got it and see what the doctor wants to do from here.

I just want to bloody cry, i dont know what to think it certainly wasnt what i was expecting.

Sorry for the selfish post

Oh, Jo... :hug: Is there any chance your dates are out?

Work is... rough this week. So tired.

BW

Jo - big big :hug: sweetie. So they didn't say how far along they thought you were? Is there any chance you could be not as far along as you thought? You poor thing, sounds very very confusing. Did they suggest another scan at a later date or do you have to wait until you speak to your dr tomorrow to know where you go from here? Try not to stress hun, as hard as I know it is, there is every chance that all is ok and you just need to wait and see what the dr says tomorrow. Hun, I wish it had gone perfectly for you today and I hate to think of you worrying and stressing about it. I wish I was closer and could give you a real hug! Will be thinking of you and I will check in after 2 tomorrow to see what your dr says.

Oh Jo :hug: Please dont lose hope; I had almost the exact same situation with Stellan. I prepared myself for a miscarriage, I was so devestated. Turns out he was just a slow grower and 2wks after my initial ultrasound there he was, a little bean with a heartbeat! He measured super behind until 20wks when he was measuring exactly to the dates I thought I should have been; and then arrived on my original EDD! So please just hang in there til its 200% certain you should give up hope ok? We're all here for you no matter what, remember that!

Oh Jo... massive hugs. As the other girls have said, please don't loose hope yet. I was the same with Luke, I thought I was 8 weeks and when we went for the scan, he only measured just on 6 weeks, so of course after already having a missed m/c before that, I was shattered and thought we were going to loose another one. Two weeks of hell later, we arrived for the scan that I thought was going to tell us we'd lost another one and low and behold.. he was fine!! So don't give up.. just wait and see what the dr says. I hope they organise another scan for you soon. It's such a scary and horrible time and I wish there was more that we could do to make it easier for you. Just know that we're all here for you, so vent as much as you like.. you certainly deserve to be selfish right now. Take care and try to rest up and as hard as it is, try not to analyse everything. Massive hugs.

Kel xxx

Jo - :hug: Like the other girls have said, these sorts of scans happen all the time and more often than not end in healthy pregnancies. My DS2 was the same. I must admit I didn't worry all that much because we had no idea of dates but waiting for the repeat scan was haaaard. :hug:

Sorry I'm not around much atm guys, just a bit 'meh' and not much to say. Thinking of you all though. :grouphug:

Sorry about the funky spacing, on my iPhone.


Sorry ladies but I've only just skimmed through the posts because there are so many.

Jo: I agree with the wonderful
advice given. Try to hold on to some hope babe. I hope the dr can put your mind at ease tomorrow. (hug)

Lee: hun I'm not going to pretend that I know
what losing a DH is like, it hurts to even contemplate. What I
do know is that you are a one of the most beautiful, compassionate and gorgeous people I've had the pleasure of getting to know. You should be so proud that despite
you tragic losses, you have not only survived
but become such a wonderful soul. Your older
kids may not have their biological father here on earth buy they have a bloddy amazing Mum.

Michelle: only two sleeps Hun. Thinking of you.

Freya: O needed to have a skin ***** test whilst we lived
in Sydney. We saw a brilliant pead and paediatric
dermatoligist, PM if you want their details. Hope
DS is feeling better.

Janie: hope you're doing ok today.

Sorry for the lack of persies, both boys in bed and so should I. O is fine, some bactial cream and whatever the spots are is almost gone. I hope
this isn't inappropriate but I just had to share that B gave me a big gummy smile today complete with gorgeous gooing noises. Makes my heart sing. oh and he was 5.6kgs when I got him weighed yesterday which means he has gained 1.64kg's since birth.


:grouphug:
Spring

Do you realise Spring that Imogen is only 4.4kgs heavier at 28 months than your gorgeous newborn! :o

Jo, I too am hoping that all is well. I can only imagine how hard this news is - please remember that there are some very wonderful & positive stories in here with similar beginnings to you. Big big cuddles. xxxx :hug:

Michelle: 2 more sleeps left my love... I am thinking, hoping and praying for you & Omar and G....xxx :hug:

Me: Well it's been a crappolla day here. The FOTY is being a twat again - withdrawn his agreement to the offer that was accepted in January... Anyways it's being handled by my new Solicitor who is a director of the firm - and is about as feisty as a pit bull... ;)

I have a feeling that it's going to be fine.

Tomorrow is Imogen's appointment to get her chromosome fancy schmancy test result... Feeling apprehensive but accepting whatever is...

So I won't be around until tomorrow evening. Janie big cuddles and thinking of you always. :hug:

Jo I'm sorry your scan wasn't as good as you'd hoped but you do have some positives to hang onto and that's what counts right now ;) Hopefully your Dr will have some more info for you tomorrow and will get you to have another scan in a week or so. I know its hard but please try to rest up now too :hug:

Spring WOOHOO on B's weight gain and how cute are those 1st smiles and goo's. Never ever apologise for telling us these things. It these happy moments that make us all smile :) You're doing an amazing job hun. Oh and I'm happy that O's rash seems to be easing too.

Willow Are you ok? Know I'm here if you want to chat :hug:

Janie and Michelle :hug: to you both.

:hug: Deb. All the best for Immy's appointment tomorrow and GRRRRR to FOTY. I hope your new solicitor gives him a good kick up the butt!!

I'm off to bed. Early start tomorrow :rolleyes:

Deb. He really is a big kid. He is in the clothes
O was wearing at 3 months. Good luck babe for your results tomorrow Hun. We are all here for you no matter the outcome. I can't believe FOTY, what a twit.

Mako: sweet dreams xx

Jo, :hug: I was so worried that we were going to mc Grayson. At my 7 week scan he was a week behind. At 9 weeks he was right on track. I am keeping my fingers crossed that you will have the same story. Make sure that you ask for another scan next week.

Deb, :hug: for Immy's appt. tomorrow.

Lee, He is there with your children on all of their important life events because you remember him and keep him in your heart. :hug:

Thank You, Michelle and BW for your replies.

I can't help but be distressed by the fact that this is normal for me now. Even stupider knowing that I would be utterly crushed if anything happened to her, so I can't even understand why I feel this way...

:hug: Deb good luck with today.

Willow; Im around on Sunday if you feel the need to talk :)

So the rash diagnosis from yesterday was allergies so now I have to try and fit in an allergy appt with a specialist (funnily enough the same one who tortured me as a kid lol) in all this mess that is my life right now. Not to mention the money (but Im sure DH will help with that).

I do have something positive though; hopefully no more whinging from me soon ;)

Dhs bosses have been soooooooooooooo awesome in this whole housing conflict issue (which is bloody rare let me tell you). They think we have fair reason to want a 4 bedroom and have gone to bat for us with the housing dept and everyone else. Yesterday they had the usual start of year entitlement and mental health chats; the housing dept manager who was so rude to us when we were trying to sort this out was the one giving the chat so when it was done Dhs BIG boss yanked her aside and chewed her out! She ended up blathering on about being on our side but ya know protocol blah blah blah :rolleyes: and that she can put it to the VIP panel of housing to see what they say, which she is pretty sure will be O.K! I swear if I see Dhs bosses I will kiss them and give them my firstborn son (and prob the secondborn too :rofl: ) So housing woes may be over but either way Ive given the RE my 21 days notice to vacate whether the Army has it sorted or not, we'll just shack up in Dhs teeny house in the interim so we can atleast be together.

So yay for small victories!

Oh and if Dh says yes, our puppy was born on the 28th :) Poor MamaDog had to have a csection because it went a bit haywire and there was only the one pup but she is happy, healthy and GORGEOUS. And MamaDog will get a VBAC next litter because the doggy world is all for natural birthing and not weighed down by statistics ;) hehe

Jo - Sorry to hear about your scan :hug: I hope you can have another one soon, hang in there. Praying it reveals a lovely healthy little bubba for you.

Lee - :hug: I can't even fathom what it what be like to lose DH. I hope your DD had a lovely time at school, I'm sure he is watching over her.

Freya - Yay for the housing issues sorting themselves out, and good luck with the allergy. Hope it improves soon.

Innana - I'm assuming by FOTY that you mean your ex-DH? Sounds like he's a bit of a knob jockey to me :rolleyes: I hope your appt goes well today, thinking of you.

Spring - Well done on the weight gain!

Hi to everyone else :)

Same old same old here, DD2 is so hard to settle at night now. I'm so tired this week my eyes are hanging out of my head, and really hoping this phase is over soon. But at least DD1 is enjoying big school, has even asked for canteen money already :o

Have a nice day everyone.

How is it that with all this rest I'm having etc, I have so little time online????????? :wall: It's very frustrating, I can tell you. Having a lappy would help ;), but still, you wouldn't think it would be that hard to make it into the study! And the phone is just not the same, too slow and too small! I'm so sorry I'm so out of things in here, especially with all the lovely support you're all giving me. I am reading every day, and trying to keep up to date. I'm sorry that I'm not doing personals for everyone, but please know that I am thinking of each and every one of you, with everything you're all going through :hug:

Deb, thank you for your lovely message at the top of this thread! I almost missed it! But it made me cry (happy tears!). I hope FOTY pulls his head in and just gets on with things rather than dragging it all out like he is now. Keep up that positive energy lovely, it will do the world of good :D

Michelle, you are in my thoughts all the time :hug:. Not long to go now my friend.........

Jo, hang in there hun. I haven't been where you are, but lots of the others have, so I'd be listening to their wise words ;). Thinking of you.

Mako, sorry you're feeling down. I really hope your appt with Dr S next week opens some doors for you............I am personally very excited that you're seeing him!

Jayne, I can't imagine this thread without you!!!!!!!!! I totally get where you're coming from with family issues. Believe it or not I am having some of the same myself ATM :rolleyes:. Hang in there, things will get better.

Spring, I'm so happy to hear you sounding so happy! Good for you babe!

Kelly, thinking of you, and working out when I will be need to call on you LOL. Possibly one day next week, if that works for you. We'll know more about what's going after Monday.

Okay, DS has had enough of me on here, and I'm doing my best to spend as much time with him as possible right now, so I'd better go. Oh, we still went to calmbirth last night, it was fantastic! Sooooooo glad we're doing it :D

Oh Megsmum I am sorry darling I didn't mean to be using a term that everyone didnt get..

FOTY is my "pet name" for my ex husband... It's tongue in cheek for "Father of the Year".. Sometimes I refer to him as the HOTY and that is "husband of the year".... :lol:

BB this afternoon. xxxx

Mako - Do you need a big Rach bear :hug:?? Sweety hope you have a better day today.

Jo - Oh im praying that all ends up well for you, and maybe your dtes are just out :pray:

Megsmum - heheh DS asked as well, ive told him once a week he can order from the canteen, so i let him yesterday. He was very excited that he got his lunch deleverd to the classroom

Spring - woohoo on weight gain!!! Evangeline has had a massive growth to, well since ive put her formula. Now a big 5.8kg :dance: heheh i was actually a little teary yesterday, her and Lilli are almost identical in weight and height at this age, lol Lilli's head was a little bigger - poor girl got that from DH. I love chubba's :D

A big :grouphug: to everyone else. I have a squealling girl here, hehe her way of saying "come play with me".

Rach

Hi all, just popping in to see how everyone is

Thankyou ladies for all the support, kind words & :hug: 's

I'm trying to take the positives from what everyone has said.

Deb: goodluck for Immy's appt today, i hope FOTY gets his act together.

Freya: YAY for small victories, hope you can get DS allergies sorted

Mako: i hope more kids in your classes turned up today.

Sorry i know i'm missing people but I'll BBL

Deb - Good luck for Immy's appt today, I'll bbl to see how she went :hug:

:

---

Same old same old here, DD2 is so hard to settle at night now. I'm so tired this week my eyes are hanging out of my head, and really hoping this phase is over soon.

---

Ditto. It's really getting me down this week and I am so, so tired.

Double post

Rach Yeah a big Rach :hug: would have been great yesterday ;) but I'm thinking you need an even bigger one right back atm. Just saw your other post in the other thread. I wish I could make everything all ok for you. I don't even have the right words for you either and that makes me a bit sad. Just know you are welcome to pop in any time even on your way past to pick E up or drop him off at school.

Deb Have been thinking of you and Immy all day. Hope you get some answers today :hug:

Freya WOOHOO on the housing situation starting to be sorted. Glad to hear mummy puppy is ok after her rough time giving birth.

Megsmum and Rach Gotta love the fact your kids have learned early what the canteen is for lol. I'm sure Willow's daughter had an experience on her 1st day of school too ;)
Glad to hear they have all settled in really well though.

Michelle :hug: hun.

Janie Good on you for going to the calm birth classes. Its lovely to hear you are doing everything you can to get the best possible birth experience you can under the circumstances

Jo A few more kids turned up today which was good.
Have you spoken to your DR yet?

jlk Hi how are you doing?

Inertia. Hi and welcome to this thread of wonderful women.

Bun I hope your visitors help out and give you some time to pop on and write your birth story. I hope it helps you with your healing process hun. Please know we are all here for you :hug:

Willow I'll be around on Sunday too if you want to chat. Let me know if I can do anything for you ;)

We are going to have a bit of a look for a big boy bed for Sage tonight. I think we are going to get him a double bed so that way we'll have somewhere for visitors to stay if they want too instead of sleeping on a mattress on the floor of his room. I'm a bit nervous about getting him out of sleeping in his cot as he's doing so so so well now but figure it might be easier now rather than later kwim?
I'm not keen on the idea of taking the side off his cot as I'm sure he'll end up falling out as he leans up against it when he sleeps.So thats another reason for a double bed..having more room to move around before falling out :redface: We'll also put a mattress on the floor beside his bed once we get on so if he does happen to fall out he won't be landing on floor boards.

BBL

Janie - Souds like you need a lappy ;)

Inanna - Hey that's OK, I was just curious ;) When I saw that it started with F I thought it might have been something really rude LOL Husband of the year.....hehehehe

Rach - The things they get excited about LOL DD just wants an ice block, we've told her the same thing - she can have some money one day a week on Fri if she's a good girl during the week. Man they catch on fast though don't they?

Willow - Fingers crossed for a better night tonight! E has never been good at night, but this week has been about the worst ever. Waking up from day sleeps after 10 mins - happy mind you :o - but then losing it in the evening and being so difficult to settle. I feel like all I ever post on BB is how tired I am :redface: At least DH helps out, but even he is starting to joke that he never knows what bed he'll end up in by morning - ours, the spare one or DD1's LOL

Mako - You might find Sage doesn't have any probs with the big bed - we thought the same with DD1 but she has never fallen out. Somehow she just knew what do do? But he'll probably be really excited to go into the big bed, DD1 was :) :hug: hoping your appt next week goes well.

Well we are back... Thankyou all for thinking of us today. Its been a toughy...

The "Microarray" chromosomal analysis of Imogens blood has shown an abnormal result.
She has an "interstitial deletion of q28"... There is no name for this due to the minimal documented cases of this disorder. Thus it is difficult to gauge her prognosis.
Dr Gattas informs me this is a very rare disorder & an answer to why Imogen has "mild dysmorphia", very small stature & "global develoopmental delay". He explained that as with most chromosomal abnormalities there is a wide spectrum & it is impossible to predict weather Immy will be severely neurodevelopmentally delayed or mildly so. It will become apparent over time. She will need lots of support, learning opportunities and stimulation. He does not believe that this is an inherited deletion (due to the "normal" intellect of both parents). Therefore it is unlikely that the other children could pass this on. However, should Imogen have children she likely would pass this to her children. It would also seem that it is not degenerative so any learning that she achieves thankfully will be retained.

So it's a lot to take in. He has given me the name of a support group on the internet for rare genetic disorders where there are two children with the same issue.

I felt relieved that we had an answer - but it then hit me and it feels very confronting. It is also hard to sit there in the Doctors office & hear this information and know that it's only me that's hearing it... YK?

Anyhooo that's the news...

Hello.

I am going to try and get back on BB later tonight and do some personals. If I don't get back on I just wanted to let Michelle know that she is in my thoughts.

Oh Deb.. :hug: :hug: :hug: I don't know what to say. There's a tiny part of me that's releived you have some answers but I guess they're not really the answers we were all hoping for. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and yeah.. to be sitting there listening to the information on your own must of been incredibly hard.. :comfort: but we're all here for you and hopefully you'll also find some comfort from the online support group they suggested. Thinking of you.

Mako - Good luck with the big boys bed.. we didn't really have any problems with DS either, so hopefully it will be a smooth transition!! :crossfingers:

Jo - How did you go with your doctor today??? What's the plan of attack?? Hopefully you'll have another scan booked in for late next week! :pray:

Janie - I'm so glad you still made it to the calm birthing classes. :clap: When's your next CTG?? I'm sooo happy to help out whenever you need it.. don't have much on next week, other than a couple of morning things here and there, nothing major though.

Megsmum - Hope you start getting some more sleep soon!!

Willow - Hope you get some more sleep too... and hope it makes you feel a whole lot better too. :hug:

Freya - It's so great to have some good news in here for once!! And good luck with the puppy!

Hope everyone else is well.

AFM - I'm doing ok... feeling a bit crappy again today, just a bit of a 'down' day again. I'm not looking forward to next month.. it's already hitting me that one of our angels would have been born in March and I'm still not even pg yet!! For some reason, it helped the first time to be pg again by the this time... iykwim??? Anyway can't be helped and I'm still praying for a BFP soon.. so hard to know when to DTD or test after a D&C... we'll just wait and see... would definitely be a miracle if it happened first cycle, so I'm not expecting it.. but still praying anyway.

DS had swimming lessons this morning too.. it was great, he's full of confidence in the water.. almost pushing me out of the way and trying to swim on his own... so funny!! He loves the water so much. Then I treated myself to a new top at the shops.. decided I deserved it!!! We're off to Geelong on Saturday morning too so that will be nice.

DH is out at a work dinner again tonight so I'm sure I'll BBL.

Kel xxx

Deb, wow, what a full on day. I have been thinking of you and Immy lots. I am relieved that you have an answer, but hear how frustrating it is that there is little knowledge about this disorder. Especially for someone like you, who likes to be armed and informed. But if anyone can help Immy through this, it's you, she was SENT to you so you could help her through her life. You are an amazing, incredible, strong mother and woman, and I know you will do everything in your power to help Immy down this road. I hope you check out the online support group too, it's important for you to have people in your life who understand, and who can help you as you help Immy. We of course will be here anytime you need us :) :hug:. Being on your own must have been doubly hard........extra hugs for you lovely :hug:

Mako, thanks hun :). I am quite resigned to the fact that a caesar may be necessary to deliver our little baby, but we both really feel that Calmbirth will help us through that as well. And if I do go into labour, then hopefully it will see us have a very calm birth LOL! I think you'll be surprised at how well Sage goes in a big boy bed. It seems such a big step, I know, but I'm sure he'll take to it very easily.

Megsmum, I think you're right ;). But now that I've finished work, and there are now extra expenses with this pg (which is completely fine) things are a bit tighter than we expected, so a lappy is probably out of the question right now. I'm getting an iphone soon though hahahaha!

Kelly, thinking of you my love :hug:. I totally get what you mean about being pg by an EDD, I'm sure everyone in here understands.

Michelle, thinking of you lots lovely, will be giving you a cyber cuddle :hug: Wish I could do it in person.

ETA Willow, thinking of you too hun, sleep deprivation bites :( It will pass, it truly will