Breastfeeding Beyond 12 Months

Welcome to our new chatter thread for breastfeeding your child beyond 12 months of age.

Many mums face a whole set of new challenges when breastfeeding an older child and this thread is for us to share our experiences, triumphs and wisdom! :cheer: :bluecheer:

Here are some useful links containing information and advice on breastfeeding an older child:
- "The benefits of breastfeeding your toddler", written by Pinky McKay for bellybelly.com.au
- "Breastfeeding your toddler", written for the Australian Breastfeeding Association by our own Barb Glare

OceanPrincess and MadB will be your friendly moderators. Please contact one of us with any questions or concerns about this thread.

subbing to this thread.

I am breadtfeeding DS (2 in June). I breastfed my daughters till they were 21months and 3 and a bit years, actually have been breastfeeding almost for 7 years give or take a few months towards end of pregnancies. I love breastfeeding but dont like it when DS wants to "fondle" the other breast whilst feeding, gives me the heebie jeebies.

DS2 is still feeding and he is 3 years and 2 months.

I am getting annoyed with him pulling at breast and needing to touch breast and nipple on other side while feeding. As much as I love it I do have days of wishing he would wean. DS1 will be 5 in July and he BF till just before his 4th birthday, when he suddenly couldn't suck 1 day. I Tandem fed them for 2 years 4 months and 6 days.

I am in.

I'm just in- DD is 13 and a bit months. :)

Oh kitten DD does that now! Only in the last 3 or 4 weeks. It's weird! Any chance she gets she tries to sneak a hand in my bra to fiddle.

Every toddler likes to “twiddle” the other nipple. And universally, every mother I’ve met including me *hates it*. when I went to China I went to an ancient Buddhist Grotto outside Chong Ching. There, carved into the rock 2000 years ago was a picture of a mother sitting down while her toddler was standing up breastfeeding (well, he looked about 4) and twiddling the other nipple! And it just made me want to reach up and take his hand away!
Gentle discipline starts right at the breast. If you don’t like it, gently say “no!’ and hold the hand down or take it away. Some distraction, like beads is helpful.

What a great thread ;).

I am feeding DD who will be 2 in May. I breastfed DS till just before 22 months until he self weaned when I was pregnant with DD. I am in uncharted waters now.

DD feeds way more than DS did, feeds heaps overnight (she is almost constantly attached from 3-4am onwards) and she is very loud and insistent about it when she wants 'booby'.

I am struggling a little at the moment - I can't sit down without DD asking for a feed, and she's such a fiesty thing, if I say no or try and cut a feed short I get in trouble lol, but I have stuff to do you know! I'm pretty sure she would love it if I just sat on the couch all day topless so she could come and go and help herself as she pleases.
I'm getting to the point where I'm needing to set some limits with feeding I guess. She's tiring me out!

Another thing I've discovered, and which I'm quite surprised about, is that I'm more uncomfortable feeding an older toddler than I was expecting. I'm all for full term breastfeeding and letting a child self wean, but I'm actually quite uncomfortable feeding DD in public or in front of people I'm aware it will make feel awkward. I'm not going to stop feeding her because of it, it's just something I have to work through - especially as DD does not look to be weaning anytime soon at all!

Looking forward to chatting with you all :)

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when I went to China I went to an ancient Buddhist Grotto outside Chong Ching. There, carved into the rock 2000 years ago was a picture of a mother sitting down while her toddler was standing up breastfeeding (well, he looked about 4) and twiddling the other nipple! And it just made me want to reach up and take his hand away!

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Lol! I guess if it's been going on for that long it's pretty normal.

The only time DD had access to the other nipple is when I'm wearing pjs, so only at night. When she has done it I've told her that it hurts Mummy, and asked her to be gentle. At the same time I move her hand away and make it stroke my chest. Now she does that.

There are certainly different challenges breastfeeding an older child - I picked up DD from daycare last week and after playing a little bit she tapped my breast and said "boob?" Lol. I just explained she could when we got home, and the carer just laughed.

Oh yes I hate the nipple touching!!!

Even when DD isn't feeding she wants to rest her hand on my boob! Hate hate hate it! I tell her numerous times a day to take hands off! It drives me insane and even more so being pregnant!

I'm here :) Buster is almost 16 months and still feeding. Moo weaned at 15 months so am headed into uncharted territory!

I'd like to jump in too. Hi everyone, been a while.

DD just turned one *sob* and BF is still going strong. She particularly loves her night feeds, dagnabit. Am getting lots of weaning questions from family now, not to mention my DH, so could really use your advice and support!

As for the nipple twiddling, DD doesn't really do this but she does like to put her free hand inside my bra and hold the other boob. Just to make sure no one nicks off with it :)

I'm joining in too! DS turned one 2 weeks ago and still feeds before every nap and overnight, between once and a billion times.

He doesn't fiddle with my other nipple while feeding... He likes to hold my hand and pinch the skin on my arm.

I've started getting questions re weaning which I'm not interested in... Although I'd like him not to feed so much overnight and am not really sure how to go about it.

:hello: I'm feeding my DD & she'll be two next month. I am constantly telling her not to pinch my other nipple and she is constantly throwing little tanties because of it. DH is no help - he just wants me to wean. I have cut down her feeds to night time only now and feel I'm producing less milk :cry: I'd like to feed her until she's two but I'm not sure we'll make it three more weeks. If DD has any say in it she will :lol:. I just don't have enough milk to satisfy her anymore.

Barb - thanks for sharing that story! Love it.

This thread is already awesome, just for the nipple twiddling comments :lol: My DS2 will be 3 next week, still going strong, but the nipple tweaking - OMG, drives me insane, and no matter how much I ask him not to, or move his hand away, he goes back. So I'm so happy to hear that I'm not the only one :) DS1 fed until his brother was born, so I've been feeding for 5 years 8 months and counting. My only "complaint" is that I'd really like him to just sleep overnight without feeding, but the tantrums & screaming I get when I try to detach him aren't worth it, so waiting until he's a bit more ready to cut back.

My DD is almost 3 and DS is 14 months and both are breastfeeding. DD has a feed before bed and sometimes goes a few days between feeds. Lately she has been requesting extra feeds but i'm not keen to have more.

The thought of feeding DS as long as DD is not a nice thought. I am getting tired of it really but not sure what I want to do. It also dissuades me from having a third child cos the feeding will just go on.

Sorry to be a downer, just tired atm.

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I'm joining in too! DS turned one 2 weeks ago

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Serious?! That went sooo quick!

Double post... Sorry

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Serious?! That went sooo quick!

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I know!!!! It's ridiculous!!! :)

I'm with you HotI... I love feeding DS, but the thought of sleeping for more then 4 hours is starting to overtake... So very tired...

Joining in. DD is 13 months and still going strong, though less during the day now. She is not a nipple twiddler but loves to shove her fingers in my mouth and 'clean' my teeth with her fingernails. If she's not doing that she's pulling my hair or my earrings, which she thinks is hilarious, especially when I yelp in pain. Not fussed about continuing. Would like her to wean but I don't want to force her either. I love the closeness and the relationship, just not so much all night! :P

I'm jumping in also. DD turned one a couple of weeks ago and were still having BF'ing. I'm wanting to wean, not wanting to wean..??.

As mentioned earlier about feeling uncomfortable. That's me! I'm so self-conscious about it as I remember what everyone (family and friends) use to say about other mothers who BF for longer.

No nip tweaks here but she does roll and pinch my awesomely elasticated *cough *saggy*cough* boob skin between her fingers. So much so she takes skin off.

It is pretty neat how busy this thread is!

Second timer here. DD1 fed till 3yrs 3mo, the last 6mo of which were tandem with DD2 who is now 14mo.

:hug: HotI you sound a bit over it. Are you hoping your DD will wean soon?

My DD is a super-aggressive breastfeeder. I had gastro or something on the weekend and things were a bit askew and she's come back with a vengeance demanding milkies all the time. i don't think there's any milk there, though :p She feeds, then gets aggro and attacks me for more. um. not ok.

Hiya *waves*. My DD is near 18 months and I think we are nearing the end.
We introduced cows at 12months as I had little success expressing and at 12m needed to get serious about work disruption during the day... has sort of been downhill from there. Most days we still have one feed during the night and then an early morning snuggle but she is sick at the moment and flat out refusing. Which is ultimately frustrating as we know boobie would be so good!
I am hoping it's just this bout of teething and sickness as being in childcare the breastmilk immunity has been a saving grace and this is the first time she has been more than a cough/cold sick in 15 months since returning to work/care. It's the only real reason im pushing for her to continue!

*sigh*

DD is hanging off me asking for booby atm. Every night she feeds on and off for hours until eventually she winds down enough to fall asleep. I'm just a bit over it. I want some time to myself, or just with DH and I. I'm not getting any down time at the moment, and it's taking it's toll on me. Sorry, bit of a downer over here too.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy breastfeeding usually - just having an over-it week this week. Something kinda cute DD has started doing though is requesting sides now. She gets up on my lap, pats a boob and says "si" (side), then lays herself down. I can ask her what side and she'll take a look/feel and decide. Funny how they can have a preference so young.

I'm having the same trouble atm Sterla. DD swaps sides about 6 times before I said no more, then she screamed at me for a while until I gave in and let her have more until she finally fell asleep. Bedtime is getting out of hand lately :( The only me time I get is when DH & the kids are in bed but lately by the time DD goes to sleep, I'm too tired for anything. The whinging & tantrums when she doesn't get her way is really wearing on me. I feel quite emotionally drained as I hate to hear her cry but there is not much I can do if there is nothing left in me. :( For this reason I can't wait for her to wean but at the same time, I don't want her to as I won't ever have this experience again.

I was having major issues with multiple side swaps and bedtime draaaaaging until I finally figured out I was pregnant and thought maybe my supply was low. Also DD just didn't seem tired at 7. So it was like she drank all the milk, then at 8 when she was actually tired there was nothing there and she'd get cranky.

Now we leave her be after her shower. Somehow she always chooses 8 to go to bed. Now it's a lot quicker, way less fiddling, and I get in and out and have more time for me/DH :)

For another perspective, the child I fed for the longest time - until after she started school (now don’t diss it til you try it!) is now 15 and confidently hugged me goodbye and left on a plane for 6 mnths exchange in Japan last week.
Really, it works exactly as the child psychology books(the good ones say) The ones you hold the closest, who are most securely attached grow up to be amazingly confident and secure teens and adults, and move away from their parents earlier, from that secure base. It took me the longitudinal study to work that out!
Don’t forget, toddlers are difficult and irritable. Without the boob they would be difficult, whiny and irritable. With the boob they are still difficult, whiny and irritable. There is not escape for parents - but at least you have “knockout drops”. You can apply some gentle discipline at the breast (that’s where it all starts IMO) Let them know what is acceptable and what’s not. That may produce a tantrum, but then you’d get one of those breastfed or not. And there’s time for your partner, work, all that stuff when they are gone.

For another perspective, the child I fed for the longest time - until after she started school (now don’t diss it til you try it!) is now 15 and confidently hugged me goodbye and left on a plane for 6 mnths exchange in Japan last week.
Really, it works exactly as the child psychology books(the good ones say) The ones you hold the closest, who are most securely attached grow up to be amazingly confident and secure teens and adults, and move away from their parents earlier, from that secure base. It took me the longitudinal study to work that out!
Don’t forget, toddlers are difficult and irritable. Without the boob they would be difficult, whiny and irritable. With the boob they are still difficult, whiny and irritable. There is not escape for parents - but at least you have “knockout drops”. You can apply some gentle discipline at the breast (that’s where it all starts IMO) Let them know what is acceptable and what’s not. That may produce a tantrum, but then you’d get one of those breastfed or not. And there’s time for your partner, work, all that stuff when they are gone.

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I was having major issues with multiple side swaps and bedtime draaaaaging until I finally figured out I was pregnant and thought maybe my supply was low. Also DD just didn't seem tired at 7. So it was like she drank all the milk, then at 8 when she was actually tired there was nothing there and she'd get cranky.

Now we leave her be after her shower. Somehow she always chooses 8 to go to bed. Now it's a lot quicker, way less fiddling, and I get in and out and have more time for me/DH :)

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Had exactly the same when I was pregnant!

I love having a mute button! For the crazy toddler when I'm on the phone, or whatever, just whip it out for instant hush.

Last night I used boob time to teach my DD1 some protective behaviours. She likes putting her foot on the vacant boob; I do not. So I told her so, and talked about being in charge of my body and that I can say Stop when I don't like something, and that she can too.

just shy of 3y10m here and still going far stronger than i thought we would be!

DD has done pretty much all the stuff that you have listed - the nipple tweaking (breast feeding necklace helped HEAPS with this!), multiple side swapping, feeding all night... it's been the most physically and mentally exhausting part of parenting - but at the same time, it's given us a bond i never thought was possible.

Late last year she was all but weaned - she'd had bronchitis on top of a cold - and the simple act of feeding was making her cough (breathing through her nose meant snot being sucked in and tickling her throat) - the cough was resulting in multiple vomit every night and she was just over it - so she curled up in my arms, hand on boob, and went to sleep like that every night. but then she decided to start again when she came good - so every few nights she'd have a drink. then she got tonsilitis in January, severe dehydration, and boob was ALL she seemed to want and could manage - so feeding ramped up again. much to the (surprising) delight of the paed in emergency who was at the point of "drink or you'll be on the drip". so since january, we've been back to at leat a feed every night before bed - quite often in the morning on the days i don't work too

mostly i'm ok with it - sometimes it drives me nuts, but mostly i'm ok with it. i've asked her if she is ever going to wean - she says yes, then says "not today though!". she shares with Daddy, tells me that one boob (her least fave one) tastes like cows milk, the other like mummy milk - it's very different feeding a little person that can tell you this stuff lol


Teeki (i think!) - you mentioned the faffing about and changing feed time - i've had to do that several times. if DD isn't tired enough, she won't go to sleep - but will feed and feed and feed (well, attempt to feed!) - it drives me bonkers - so now i hold out til i know she is tired enough and usually she is out cold pretty quickly.

From around 12 months or so I found with both kids that they would only feed to sleep at bedtime if they hadn't had a day sleep. i just made it a bedtime feed, rather than a feed to sleep.

That's beautiful BG. A friend of mine's son described it as 'melted icecream'.

DD describes it as several different tastes, but mostly "yummy like strawberry smoothie that daddy makes us!"

i'm glad this thread has been created - i haven't visited the BF threads much lately, simply because i forget so much of the early stuff - even the "just turned 1" aspects seem so very long ago - but at least there will be some other people who get the fun (and frustrations) of feeding an older child in here!

When I see newborns being fed I'm kind of in awe, they're so tiny compared to my gangly boy, and feeding looks so neat. I'm an out and proud ABAer, and one of the best parts of my group is that there's a lot of extended feeders, so I feel really normal (well, relatively ;) ). I do censure myself in some situations, so it's nice to have another safe place to talk about stuff in.

That's so sweet BG.

Out of nowhere DD went on a nursing strike today. Last feed was at 5:00 but she was really unsettled and restless. Had EBM from a sippy cup with Dad during the day but nothing from me after work, in the bath or at bed time.

Eventually decided at 8:00 that she wanted leftie and I was so relieved. I was really worried! She's usually all over me when she's been away from me all day. Pretty sure she has more bottom teeth coming in, so could be that.

I missed it instantly, it felt very strange. Have to remember that feeling during the all-night marathons!

I sometimes find, as an "extended" breast feeder, that its hard for me to appreciate others' achievements. It was really hard for my SIL to make it to 6 months BFing, and I remember silently thinking "is that all?" Even though I know that at 2 weeks, 4 weeks seems massive, and at 4 weeks, 12 weeks seems amazing, and at 12 weeks 12 months is incredible. But retrospectively, it seems so easy.

Anyone else find that?

my mum couldn't breastfeed (medication related) and thus I always expected not to be able to breastfeed. So to get to 2 and 3 years and nearly 2 years so far with Leon is amazing, something I never expected to happen, I was lucky that I had great midwives in the NBIC unit to help me with the girls.

Audax - yep! It's funny how perspective changes over time and with our own experiences.

I tried putting DD to bed later as Teeki said. It still took her over an hour to go to sleep but tonight she was happy, no excessive side swapping, no tanty when I refused to accept having my nipple pinched. So much more pleasant. She has only just gone to sleep (at 8.50 :o) but it was much better. Cute moment - she stopped feeding looked up at me with the sweetest smile and said "nice!" while nodding her head. It makes it seem like the difficult morning I had (almost) never happened.

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I sometimes find, as an "extended" breast feeder, that its hard for me to appreciate others' achievements. It was really hard for my SIL to make it to 6 months BFing, and I remember silently thinking "is that all?" Even though I know that at 2 weeks, 4 weeks seems massive, and at 4 weeks, 12 weeks seems amazing, and at 12 weeks 12 months is incredible. But retrospectively, it seems so easy.

Anyone else find that?

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Yes I do feel like that but I quickly remind myself it wasn't easy and of those times I would cry from exhaustion telling myself I would make myself get to 6months.

Buffy - boo to boob strike, but yahoo for the little break! Hope your DD's teeth come through.

I remember when I started out my only aim was to make sure d&d got colostrum. After that it was a bonus. Then I set mini goals to get me through the hard parts. 6 months seemed like a huge time when I was only a few very painful days in. So it was days then weeks. At six months I decided a year was doable. At 12 months I figured whatever happened, happened... And that's how I see it now. But when I talk to people about to start out I only ever say take it day by day. If you look too far ahead it's too big and overwhelming


Have my 12yo niece here so dd went to bed later. She dragged r up to the bedroom to get ready, had cuddles then order r out of the room so "mum and me can get comfy for booby". Kinda needed that connection. I don't exist when her cousins visit! Lol